Halloween...Boo!

I was raised with American Northeast Halloween style. I went to a tiny Catholic school and learned a Halloween song from the nuns. I dressed in a home-made princess (young child) or witch (older child) costumes. I went trick-or-treating with my brother and friends. We would sing a song to get a treat, and no I never personally did tricks (although I can't vouch for my brother or friends.)

As an adult I wandered west and away from the Catholic Church. Before I headed back to both, I had some time to learn a few things about how others lived their values, with Halloween as an example. I had never given Halloween much thought but being a brand new mommy gave me incentive to think, because like my peers, we wanted to do right by our young children keeping gentleness in mind. I became friends with many intense and thoughtful people...no sheep here. Some friends were liberal secular thinkers. Their beliefs were well-intentioned, thoughtful, and interesting. Halloween was out because it was unsophisticated, too dark, and it bought into our superficial culture. I became friends with many conservative faithful thinkers. Their beliefs were well-intentioned, basic, and passionate. Halloween was out because it was "the work of the devil." I wrestled with Halloween, feeling both confused and apathetic. You see, Halloween wasn't my favorite holiday as a child. I didn't like much candy, I was very shy, and I didn't like scary things. Skipping Halloween altogether had some appeal. Yet, it my memory it was a simple day that was fun and sweet. Nothing more...nothing less.

Once back in the Church, I realized that I had absorbed a very Catholic perspective on Halloween. For a child and adult who never cared much for Halloween, I now found myself defending it, much to my surprise. Within the context of Halloween/All Saints/All Souls day, Halloween make sense. The trick (no pun intended) is to not make it more or less than it is. It isn't a holiday that deserves weeks of planning, decorating, and celebrating. It doesn't need to be about money, gore, and evil. It isn't a holiday that needs to be ignored or rejected because this gives it too much power.

Each year looks different for our family. This year our family will decorate our home outside in classic spooky style. Some of us will trick-or-treat while others stay home with littles and hand out treats from our home. We will dress up in classic and original style...princesses, pirates, witches, clowns, spooky guys, cowboys, Lord of the Rings, Teenage werewolf from the 50's, hippy, animals, hobos, and more. Our boys will spend much of their time at a neighbor's home who does an exceptional job of decorating his garage as a haunted house, scary enough for bigger kids and adults while tame enough on one side for littles. When every thing is over, the children will dump their candy on the table and swap with each other for favorites. We'll put some away for Christmas stockings. I'll make some spiced cider and serve Halloween cookies. Tomorrow morning we'll get up early and take down all the decorations and pack them away for next year. Sweet.

Next? Bring on the great stuff. Let All Saints, All Souls, and the month of remembering our dead, begin.

Rule of 6

When Mary G. posted an invitation to describe our family's Rule of 6, I thought this would be a fun opportunity to look at our family priority list from a fresh angle. Here's goes!

1. Pray.
2. Grow in Catholic virtue and culture.
3. Meet personal care needs.
4. Build positive relationships.
5. Work hard on meaningful skills and services.
6. Immerse in and discuss all encompassed by Philippians 4:8.

Thinking in terms of daily use of a Rule of Six, the biggest perk is to be satisfied and grateful at the end of each day with what is accomplished. I can look at all that is done and objectively see what does and doesn't fit with our family priorities. What does fit is worthy of our time, even if it wasn't on the schedule or didn't quite turn out as planned. For me and our family, this is so much better than trying to prove personal discipline through sticking to a planned schedule or feeling a constant failure for not sticking with a planned schedule. Also, I can isolate what doesn't fit, giving our family infinite opportunities to work on our weak areas.

A Rule of 6 can also be used in broader ways. Most recently we used our family priority list to help discern our decision to do high school at home. Our list of five priorities could, and should, be expanded to include...

Priority Six: Immersion and Discussion in Whatever...

How can we help her to grow in the spirit of Philippians 4:8? How can we help her to immerse herself in whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, gracious, excellent, and praise-worthy? How can we help her to enjoy, think about, discuss, and produce projects about these things?

Thank you, Lissa and Mary. It has been helpful and enjoyable to think about these things with you!

High School at Home

At the heart of choosing to home educate through high school, my daughter and our family felt that this path fit our priorities best. Looking at all outside options, continuing to home educate makes most sense. Looking at all home schooling options, High School of Your Dreams, make most sense.

There is a lot of social pressure to make academics the top priority for all high schoolers. The argument is that this is the season for intensive academic growth and preparation for college. Yet, our family continues to question this argument. More specifically, we ask ourselves, what would an academically rich curriculum look like that wouldn't sacrifice other, we believe higher, priorities?

Priority one: God
How will we protect, foster, and ensure an environment that brings our high schooler closer to God? How will we make time for an increase and maturity in prayer? How will we minimize distractions from and attacks against our high schoolers relationship with God? How will she receive opportunities to defend God and her faith, growing in spiritual strength and maturity? How will she best get to know and love her faith?

Priority two: Virtue
How will we help her to continue to grow in virtue? How can we help her build upon her strengths while dealing directly with her weaknesses? How can we best mentor and guide her? What virtues are of highest priority?

Priority three: Personal Care
How can we help her to get enough sleep? Eat well? Exercise? Heal in time of illness? How can we help her to best prevent harm to her body, to avoid being exposed to alcohol, drugs, body piercing, tattooing, slicing, promiscuity, and more?

Priority four: Relationships
How do we help her to stay connected in a healthy way to those who love her, and who she loves, the most? How do we encourage healthy friendships?

Priority five: Skills and Service
How do we help her to grow in academic skill? How do we help her to prepare for her vocation of wife and mother? How do we help her to prepare for college? How do we help her to serve others through her talents and gifts?

When batting all this around a few months ago, we were honest with our daughter. Although we felt that we could provide a unique, enriching, and real-life high school curriculum, there may be negative consequences connected with this decision. Some people may not understand it. Some colleges may not accept it. Some tests scores may not be as high as under other circumstances. Yet when all was said and done and the decision needed to be made, we chose to stay home and to continue learning together.

Shiny Corners

Our family life is currently shiny bright. This isn't bragging. It is the truth, God-given, and appreciated. Practicing our faith, living our values, and sticking together through the tough times has helped us to flourish. Since the accident, I've been wondering if all our brightness has tricked me, tricked our family, into not seeing some shaded corners of our otherwise shiny life.

Corner one: Finances

The accident cost us money and forced us to look again at how we have been handling our money. There was a time, not long ago, when our family was debt-free and had comfortable savings. This lifestyle was gained through a lot of hard work and sacrifice. Yet, the past few years brought with them financial challenges combined with growing children and apathy that a good, secure income can bring.

Where is the family glue here? Our new family project, of course! We are working together on our finances to include reading books on the subject, having meetings, pulling together a budget, and of course making financial sacrifices to reach our goals.

Corner two: Time Management

The accident cost us time. Plus, after I finally said, "Yes," to God to look again at our finances, I had to beg, "Lord, I know how much time and energy this will entail! Can you PLEASE help me to figure out how I can squeeze one more thing into my full life?" Within a few days, He helped me see a solution to a time management puzzle that has been haunting me for over a year.

The stage is now set for many blog posts as our family bumbles, I mean grows in unity, through our latest projects. Thanks be to God.

Crash and Rebuild

On July 11, 2006, our whole family was in a vehicle accident that left our old van totaled, our bodies bruised and achey, and our souls strong. Going through difficulties together as a family has a way of showing our strengths and weaknesses. Fortunately, this time, we saw mostly our strengths.

It has been a long haul recovering from this accident. Much time was diverted from other areas of our family life to deal with the fallout. Although our family was not at fault, we needed to spend a lot of energy standing up for ourselves and making sure that we were restored to as close to our life before the accident as possible.

In the midst of this drawn out affair, I kept thinking...wishing...hoping...that it would be over soon. I wanted my life back quickly. I wanted normalcy. I wanted...I wanted...

Well, God didn't want us to go back to normal. He wanted us to hang out on our knees for awhile. He wanted us to take a good, hard look at ourselves. I was reminded of a metaphor for the development of children. Children develop like a house of cards. Two cards are propped together and stand...for awhile. Then something causes the primitive house of cards to collapse. The two cards are picked up and restructured, using two more cards. This house stands for a longer time. Yet, the house eventually collapses again. This collapse and rebuild happens over and over as the child develops and matures, integrating new and old.

Once I stopped wanting "life as I knew it" back, I was able to say "yes" to God in a more complete way. Our family has been able to grow and mature. We crashed and with God's grace, we are rebuilding something more durable, stable, flexible, and beautiful.

Young Man and All Star

In my last post, I wrote vaguely about the family transitions we are experiencing. Today, I'll write about one involving Little League All Stars and the metamorphosis of my ten year old son.

My son made the All Star team this season and was the starting catcher for the nine and ten year olds. He had a great season, loves the game, and respects his coach. The All Star team brought together new team mates, some of whom up front were strutting their stuff in a way that is typical but inappropriate. My son was challenged in a way that he hasn't been in the past. He had to stand up for his values, home schooling, and faith in a more mature way.

Going into the world as a young man is no easy ride. My husband has been steadfast in his support. But dad hasn't had to do it alone. My son wrote another athlete, a seventeen year old Catholic home-educated young man, asking him for advice. The reply he received was priceless. Good man to good man support is priceless. My son handled the challenges well, better than his mother, and before my eyes I saw glimpses of the man God is calling him to be.


After sticking to his guns, much practice as a team, and an earned respect and friendship among the players, my son was confident and eager to begin tournament play. I sat on the sidelines, both literally and figuratively. I cheered, reassured, purchased enough sports drink for a small army, and stomped on the ground when the ump made a bad call.

Two moments from the tournament stand out most in my mind. The first happened when four teams lined up on the first and third base lines, eagerly awaiting the tournament to begin. Introductions were made, fans clapped, then we were asked to stand for the National Anthem. My son, in his catcher gear, put his hand to his heart, gave full attention to the flag, and sang. No fidgeting. No looking at his feet. No waving at his family. Time stopped for me. My eyes welled with pride and a bittersweet realization that this was no longer a little boy.

The second moment came when my son's team lost in the semi-finals when in the bottom of the last inning, the other team came up with a run to squeak past us for the win. I never thought I would feel so broken-hearted. My mind knows "this is just a Little League game," but my heart had grown to care for all the players and their families. Even more, my heart was growing in deeper love with the young man catching. I watched him hold his head high, congratulate the other team, and reassure his team mates. He thanked his coaches, thanked his family, and thanked God for the opportunity. He choked back tears, a young man, a true All Star. He choked the tears back much better than his mom.

Time Squared

Wow can time rev up and move on leaving me in its wake! The only explanation I have for being away from my blog is that our family is going through several big transitions that I’ll be writing about in future posts. This is all exciting yet head-spinning. A few days ago my heart cried out, “Stop this thing! I want to get off!”

I read years ago in a business publication, that there are two different types of time, chronos and mythos. Chronos time is linear, definable, and countable. Here are some examples. “Meet me at 9:00.” “We eat dinner at 6:00.” “On June 7th we’re having friends to visit.” Mythos time is something else entirely. Mythos time is non-linear, hard to define, and hard to grasp. Mythos time explains why a vacation week sweeps by so much more quickly than a week having the flu. The gist of the article was that excellent executives know, or learn, how to move smoothly between and take advantage of the two.

When I read the article, I was a public administrator. Shortly after reading the article I became a mother. When I was a public administrator, I power walked the straight path of chronos time. Oh what discipline, pride, and comfort! When I became a mommy, I plunged into the swirling sea of mythos time. I left my false discipline, pride, and comfort behind. For example, I learned that to succeed in breastfeeding, I needed to not look at the clock. I learned that to gain rest, I needed to be resourceful and not count on eight hours straight between ten and six. I learned that time can stop when my daughter stared into my eyes.

Mythos time became Mommy time. I didn’t keep a calendar. I didn’t wear a watch. I didn’t plan much at all. I nursed my baby. I slept with my baby. I savored my time with her. Floating in pure mythos time doesn’t happen often in life, I’ve learned. It is a gift. Mythos time is God’s time.

How was my time spent these past few weeks? I was wrestling with chronos time, meeting unusual time commitments, and mythos time, meeting unusual people needs and happenstances. I was called to trust that my well-planned days and weeks needed to be put aside to swim in the uncertainty of God’s will for me. The rush is over...I think. I’m tentatively planning to get back to our usual routine, full of chronos time aides. We’ll see what God has planned for me.

Sweet Names

Little did I know when I started calling my husband, "Honey," in our early years of marriage that the name would stick. My first baby became "Sweetheart" early, and Sweetheart she remains. My second baby became "Babe," giving our family a glimpse into his baseball future. My third baby became "Spunky," then morphed into "Little Man" and now has reverted back to "Spunky." The name fits.

With our current baby, I call him "Chunky Monkey" and "Hunk a Chunk a Burnin' Love" and any combination of the two. I was tempted to call him "Fang" when his top teeth came in, not with the usual top two first but with the teeth on either side first. I thought better.

It's funny. These sweet names aren't interchangeable. I don't call my husband Sweetheart and definitely won't call my daughter Chunk. I wonder if the names will stick. I wonder what other names will arise and fit in the future. For more on terms of endearment, check out "Let Me Call You Sweetheart" by Elizabeth Foss.

Have a blessed Sunday.

More on Pegs

Lissa has done a fabulous job of explaining family organizational pegs while also giving credit toLeonie for first sharing this concept with the CCM list. Thank you, Lissa and Leonie!

Here are two of my previous posts about how pegs work in our day and help us pray.

Sacrifice and May 19th Family Activity Suggestion

I've had a general post in my draft box about the othercott to The Da Vinci Code for two weeks. Now I know why I didn't post it earlier. I just heard that one of my dearly loved ones is tempted to see TDVC. My general post has just gotten personal.

Sacrifice it. Yes, "Curious," sacrifice seeing TDVC. Why? Because it is the right thing to do. It really is that simple.

I'll let others explain the nitty gritty of why TDVC is a "frontal assault on Jesus Christ and all of Christianity" according to Teresa Tomeo, Host of Catholic Connection. You'll appreciate their thorough and intelligent research. I'll speak to you. I know you love movies. I also know that you enjoy being in the know and in the now. But I also know that you have worked so hard to straighten your path and seek the truth. This is a perfect opportunity for you to sacrifice.

According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church,

2099
It is right to offer sacrifice to God as a sign of adoration and gratitude, supplication and communion: "Every action done so as to cling to God in communion of holiness, and thus achieve blessedness, is a true sacrifice."16

Not only is this an opportunity to sacrifice, it is an opportunity to trust the Catholic Church and to trust fully evangelized Catholics to speak the truth about this movie.

Here's an idea. I know a way that you can see a good movie AND have fun with your family AND avoid having to discuss this topic with me ever again. The movie, Over the Hedge is getting good reviews and just so happens to be opening on the same day as TDVC.

Sony and Dan Brown urge us to SEEK THE TRUTH! I wholeheartedly agree. Let's seek...

...whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Seek...and find...the Truth. You bet!

Open to Life

The area of the heart where I have grown most in clarity since my reversion to the Catholic Church is in openness to life. This is largely due to the wonderful families that I have come to know through online friendships and local Catholic homeschooling families. In Elizabeth Foss' article, In Praise of Big Families, you can see an example of the loving hearts and clear minds that have highly influenced me. Lovingly said and lived, Elizabeth.

In her article, Elizabeth quotes another friend, Bridget,

It is hard to explain to a young couple just starting out or even to an older couple who has not had this openness how married love can grow from the challenges of many children. Indeed, the openness may be key here, rather than the actual numbers of children. The openness is up to us, the number is up to God.

Lovingly said and lived, Bridget.

Last week I had a follow-up conversation with a new friend at a local Catholic homeschooling event. Previously, Christy had told me that her family was caring for her husband's grandmother at home. The grandmother was in hospice care, facing the end of her life. Now Christy informed me that grandma had responded so well to being in their loving home care that grandma is no longer with hospice, which according to these experts means she is no longer looking at near death. Christy went on to tell me that she quit her part-time job to be more available to grandma. She talked about the privilege of caring for grandma and shared with me tender and funny ways that the family helped grandma to receive their care and keep her pride in tact. With a pretty smile, she told me that caring for grandma fits right in with being the mother of four young children. Then she quipped, "You could say that we're open to the END of life, and what that brings to a family." Lovingly said and lived, Christy.

Lack of Love

Or Pope says low birth rate is due mainly to lack of love.

It is children and young people who are often the first to experience the consequences of this eclipse of love and hope. Often, instead of feeling loved and cherished, they appear to be merely tolerated. In "an age of turbulence" they frequently lack adequate moral guidance from the adult world, to the serious detriment of their intellectual and spiritual development. Many children now grow up in a society which is forgetful of God and of the innate dignity of the human person made in God’s image. In a world shaped by the accelerating processes of globalization, they are often exposed solely to materialistic visions of the universe, of life and human fulfillment.

Yet children and young people are by nature receptive, generous, idealistic and open to transcendence. They need above all else to be exposed to love and to develop in a healthy human ecology, where they can come to realize that they have not been cast into the world by chance, but through a gift that is part of God’s loving plan. Parents, educators and community leaders, if they are to be faithful to their own calling, can never renounce their duty to set before children and young people the task of choosing a life project directed towards authentic happiness, one capable of distinguishing between truth and falsehood, good and evil, justice and injustice, the real world and the world of "virtual reality".

Amen.

Girlfriend Call

I was blessed today to have a long phone conversation with a girlfriend. It is rare for me to have a leisurely phone conversation and yet when I do, I am reminded how important talking girl talk with a friend is to me...and my family. It is obvious why this is important to me. I'm very fortunate to have intense women friends who challenge, reassure, and encourage me. They also make me laugh. All of this helps me to strive to fulfill my vocation wholeheartedly. Why is a girlfriend chat important to my family? You guessed it; when I'm happy, the family is happy. Or at least they don't have to deal with my foreign-to-them-woman-need that is being met quite nicely without them.

Have you talked on the phone with a girlfriend lately? Consider giving a call. Especially consider giving a call to the friend you are sure is to busy to talk. She might be just the friend who needs to hear from you most.

Have a blessed Sunday!

Together in Prayer

I just received word that my sweet eight year old niece, who lives thousands of miles away in Pennsylvania, was hospitalized with severe abdominal pain and other serious symptoms. She is being observed and waiting for test results.

It is so hard to be separated from my brother and his family, especially when his daughter is in the hospital. I gain great comfort from knowing that our family is together in prayer.

From St. Frances De Sales,

Never think that geographical distance can ever separate souls whom God has united by the ties of His love. The children of the world are separated one from another because their hearts are in different places; but the children of God, having their hearts where their treasure is, and sharing only one treasure - which is the same God - are consequently always united and joined together.

Please join me in prayer for my niece. If you feel so called, join our family in a novena to St. Gianna Molla. I have gained much peace from praying to this lovely Saint, knowing how much she loves children and wants the medical profession to be a conduit for God's grace. Thank you.

Arizona hEATS

My daughter and I have a new blog, Arizona hEATS. We're having a lot of fun working together in the kitchen and at the computer. As the temperature heats up, come and pull up a seat on our virtual covered patio and we'll serve you up some iced tea and good hEATS.

Apology to Commenters

I just learned from my blogging friend extraordinaire, stef, that it is proper etiquette to comment on comments left at my blog. Fortunately for me, comments have been left by dear friends and family who will not be surprised that it was my ignorance, not my lack of gratitude, that kept me from commenting. I honestly thought that if I commented on a comment it was like sending a thank you for a thank you OR that I was already saying too much and taking up even MORE of your time! Now I see that I am free to send my thank you, one that is truly heartfelt.

To make up for my past errors, I want to say thank you all for visiting me here. I know how valuable your time is and I am grateful that you choose to spend some with me. I try to make it worth your while! From now on, I'll also do my best to respond to comments.

Little League Glue

Little League is in high gear right now and will keep me well occupied through May. Our 10 year old is in the Majors and our 7 year old is in Coach Pitch. We are at a game up to four nights a week!

We have had our Little League lumps over the past two years. Fortunately, this season is fantastic. At the Major level, the play is very skilled and exciting. The 10-12 year olds play their hearts out! Our family also enjoys the company of the other players' families, a mixed lot which makes for many an interesting encounter.

I sometimes wonder what our family did before Little League. We hang out at the games together, cheering. Our daughter is learning how to keep score for her brother's team. We talk about the games over and over and over. Throw into the mix that we are having fun with our neighbors...take me out to the ballgame!

Family Project

This past week was Easter vacation here, to include taking a break from blogging and much of our usual stuff. I'm convinced that a business as usual mentality the week after Easter robs us of Easter joy and distracts us from Christ.

So into the void we tackled a family project that has been gnawing at me for two years. We organized a small seating area on our patio. Sounds simple enough, right? Well, I should have thought again! The good news is that four trips to Home Depot and many hours of manual labor and we have a sweet place to kick back and enjoy our beautiful Arizona outdoor living.

We purchased a couch secondhand and a white woven throw slipcover. It fits perfectly up against the wall under our bedroom window. My daughter made sweet pillows for it out of blue material with a multi-colored bird print...too tweet (couldn't resist.) Across from the couch we purchased two all weather wicker type chairs in powder blue. This is a big step for me because I can be practical to a fault and feel compelled to purchase white. My frugal side won out because only the blue chairs were on sale:). My daughter is making coordinating seat pad covers using material that only has the branches and white blooms from the bird print. On the ground between the couch and chairs is a blue indoor/outdoor rug. NEVER did I think I would use a rug outside; my mind always thinks astroturf. With a baby and a desperate desire for color in the desert, a dark blue rug it is. Between the two chairs is a secondhand table on which the children and I placed multi-colored kitchen tiles (3X4) in the center, surrounded by mostly blue with some multi-colored glass gems. The grout is "almond sand" which gives it a rippling water over sand effect...if you have a really good imagination. Finally, behind the two chairs we put up (5) 4X8 panels of white privacy lattice between our covered patio posts. This has brought not only privacy, but shade which is a high commodity in the desert. Figuring out and implementing this part of the project was quite a team effort. Phew!

The planner that I am is chagrined to admit that this big project wasn't planned. To be honest, I woke up the day after Easter and "just couldn't take it anymore!" After sitting on my friend's sweet, shaded, patio the day before, I was compelled to shake my handywoman inhibitions and go for it! Shortly into the project I lost my temper because...well never mind. Once I apologized I was ready to not only produce a pleasant patio, I was going to avoid sinning as well! It was fantastic to work with the children. They carried, measured, painted, tiled, washed, cleared, mowed, and so much more. In fact, this family project was so successful, I have one planned for the Fall.

Holy Week and Sacred Triduum: Saturday

This is what I had in my draft box before I brought my husband to the hospital emergency room with severe abdominal pain and swelling...

I love this day! As our seven year old said while bouncing up and down, "Mom, I can hardly wait until Easter! I think I'm going to bust!" Today is all about waiting and preparing.

We'll shop for last minute Easter basket items and fresh food needs for tomorrow. We'll make some dishes that we are bring to our friends' home for our traditional Easter ham dinner tomorrow. Can't forget to get all the Easter clothes ready! We will dye Easter eggs and finish up a few craft loose ends.

We will miss the Easter Vigil Mass tonight, which is a sacrifice. Our daughter will lecture at the family Mass tomorrow, with our whole family present. Tonight after the sun set, we will decorate the front of our home. We hang plastic eggs that have been tied to multi-colored ribbons from our trees. We also hang our Easter flag. Colored wicker Easter baskets with tacky multi-colored Easter grass line the front of the house. For the grand finale, add a purple 6' Easter Bunny similar to this one and you have a can't miss explosion of Easter joy!

(Disclaimer: If I had my way, our front yard would look more, umm, sophisticated. Last year when I was hugely pregnant, the family took the decorating of our "new to the desert front yard" bull by the horns and that explains the purple bunny! So now I eat humble pie, again, because the yard is perfectly eye-catching. It is especially noticeable since we are the only family in the near neighborhood who decorates for Easter.)...

There is nothing like a health scare, and this one was one of the scariest, to put things into perspective. However many wonderful activities we had planned, they didn't have to happen for the risen Christ to come in Easter glory. In fact, Easter is even more delicious exactly because Easter is NOT dependent upon me or you or health or anything human. Easter comes. He is risen!

Thanks be to God and to all my prayerful friends, my husband was home and in bed by 2:00 am on Easter morning. He received the best case scenario results and is on oral antibiotics for an infection. Praise God and Happy Easter!

Holy Week and Sacred Triduum: Friday

Good Friday is a full, slow moving, deliberate and somber day here. No music or entertainment. It is also a day when we need to be careful not to fall into traps of bickering, impatience, and sloth. It is as if the heaviness of the day weighs on us and in our weakness we want to take it out on each other. This article, The Holiday Halmark Can't Handle, touches upon the unique mix of feelings today.

Fortunately, we have several activities to help keep us out of trouble. We plan to make my friend Mary Ann's Hot Cross Buns. (Thanks again, Mary Ann!) We will clean the house. We'll begin the Divine Mercy Novena and will add prayer for troops. We will abstain from meat and fast.

Later today we will do the Stations of the Cross using these prints from Catholic Heritage Curriculum. We will attend Mass for The Lord's Passion, Liturgy of the Word, Veneration of the Cross, and Holy Communion.

Finally, we get to call my Dad and sing Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday, Dad! I and we love you.

Holy Week and Sacred Triduum: Thursday

Holy Thursday is when Jesus ate the Last Supper with his apostles. Although not my tradition, I love the meaning behind calling today Maundy Thursday. Maundy Means "command," which refers to Jesus command to "love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:34.)

Today we will make unleavened bread. Tonight my husband will lead us through our simplified version of a seder meal. Our evening will conclude with my husband washing our feet.

My heart is about to burst with gratitude.

Holy Week: Wednesday

Yesterday we planned to clean and shop. I don't mind cleaning but shopping is a whole other matter. Not being a gifted shopper, shopping falls into the category of sacrifice. I do what needs to be done to fulfill my vocation as wife and mother and holiday maker extraordinaire!

What God had planned for me yesterday was quite different. I had the privilege to talk to a dear friend about her family challenges and to suggest ways of helping that included a discussion about the sacramental grace found within the Catholic Church. My friend is a talented, funny woman, a beautiful seeker, a devoted wife and mother, and an inspiration. I prayed out loud to my friend for the ability to represent God and His Church well and with loving truth. It proved to be a challenging and beautiful conversation, one that brought these words to my mouth...

I may not completely trust humans or human constructs, but I do trust God. I trust Jesus Christ and his perfect example and sacrifice for us. I trust the Holy Spirit to lead us Home. I trust the Holy Tradition (I'm not talking Bingo here) of the Catholic Church which Christ promised would never be overcome.* I trust this with my life.

This was when I burst into tears! I'm not one to cry easily and I most certainly didn't want to turn emotional during this delicate conversation. Then I found myself apologizing for the tears, saying...

I've never said that before, in that way, to anyone. I'm crying because not only do I completely trust this for me, I completely trust this for those I love, for my children, for my husband, for you.

My gracious friend blessed me yesterday. I hope and pray that I was a conduit of God's grace for her. We've been good friends to each other for years. God works in amazing and surprising ways.

Yes, I managed to shop yesterday (with an extra bounce in my step) and the cleaning was rescheduled...gladly.

*Matt 16:18 - "You are Peter, and on this rock I will build my Church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it."

Holy Week: Tuesday

We collected our recipes and made shopping lists. We watched Veggie Tales An Easter Carol and colored this page. We'll continue watching Jesus of Nazareth.

We also looked at family service and decided to do something special for dad. We will make him home made nutrition bars, to take to work. We will also suprise him by caring for the lawn.

The day has been quiet. The children have played. I have spent leisurely time at the computer with friends. Our anticipation is growing....

Holy Week: Monday

I want Holy Week to feel very holy, special, and different from our usual week. Oh how I wish the whole community would stop business as usual! Until then, we'll stick to doing holy, special, and different family activities.

To start, we take a break from our formal school work. Today we'll visit with friends and eat pizza together. We'll watch The Miracle Maker and make paper flowers, tissue paper or crepe paper flowers. We'll pull out our Bibles and spend time reading about and looking at illustrations about Jesus's death and resurrection (Matthew, Chapters 26, 27, 28; Mark, Chapters 14, 15, 16; Luke, Chapters 22, 23, 24; John, Chapters 18, 19, 20, 21.) We'll do some Holy Week themed word puzzles. Here are some more ideas for Holy Week.

Holy Week: Palm Sunday

Holy Week is here. Our family will keep our preparations simple and low key.

For Palm Sunday we will attend Mass, decorate our home with blessed palms, make palm crosses, and spend the day outside together. In the evening we will begin watching Jesus of Nazareth.

Have a most blessed Palm Sunday.

Prayer Chair

I have a prayer chair that I picked up years ago via a parish garage sale. It is old with red velvety upholstery. Some would say it is tacky but I love it. I have prayed a thousand prayers, wept a thousand tears, and controlled a thousand temper tantrums, in this chair.

There is something special about having a space set aside for peace and quiet and prayer. When the rest of the house is out of order, I can close my eyes in my chair and feel at ease. When I leave the scene of a family misunderstanding, I go to my chair and gain calm.

When others are having a hard time, I'll invite them to sit in my chair. My children have spilled their stories there. My husband has debriefed from his rigorous days at work. When the baby is fussy, I sit with him in my chair and pray.

Although I have moved too often, my chair comes with me. There was a time when I envisioned upgrading my chair to something nicer. For now I'll keep it, like I would a comfortable old sweater. One filled with memories and prayer.

Laugh Break 6: Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus

Although this book is recommended for children pre-Kindergarten through second grade, I would say ages 7+ is more like it. Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus had my children rolling on the floor. The illustrations are simple and unique, with a surprising peak of visual action in the middle of the story. They identified with Pigeon's antics, seeing them as silly and outrageous.

There are more books in with Pigeon series. Hopefully, there are more laughs to be had.

Lunch Break: Ferdinand the Bull

On the days we are home during the week at lunch time, we make something quick to eat, and watch an educational DVD. The children take turns choosing. Often the DVD's are connected to a unit study or they are stories. Today we watched Ferdinand the Bull, a Disney short film found on Timeless Tales. We love this book. We love this book on tape (Oh the dramatic Spanish telling!) and now we love this short film.

If you haven't met Ferdinand yet, please do. Spring is the perfect time to smell the flowers along with Ferdinand!

Consistency

I lost my temper today and slammed my boys with a serious negative consequence for their behavior. As they sat, shocked, they collected themselves and finished their work while holding back tears. I calmed down and continued my work as well. Once finished, I called my husband to evaluate our situation.

There is a lot of pressure for parents to be "consistent." Somewhere along the way I realized that there are two kinds of consistency, external and internal. External consistency is the type most folks talk about. For example, as a parent if you give a negative consequence to a child, you had better follow through or your child will never learn correct behavior and will see you as weak.

The second kind of consistency is internal. Internal consistency means to come from the same values and priorities when acting, to include giving consequences. So when I give a negative consequence from my anger, I break my internal consistency because I want to give consequences from a thoughtful, prudent, and helpful place.

After talking with my husband, I had to eat humble pie. With the help of my husband, we calmly teased out what I had done wrong and what I said that was true. Eventually, we decided to change the negative consequence. We replaced it with another way for our children to make amends and hopefully to learn. Now if only their mother would learn!

The Napping House

Years ago when my first baby was our only baby, my sister would come from the big city to visit us in our small town, thirty minutes away. She would come to spend time with us. And she would come to nap.

During that time, a friend sent a book gift, The Napping House, by Audrey and Don Wood. My sister quickly dubbed our house, The Napping House.

As I write this post, my husband is napping with our baby. My parents are napping in the guest room, preparing for their return to Pennsylvania after their wintering stay here in Arizona. Within the past few weeks, a teen friend napped on our couch, my mom napped as a break during her sewing project with my daughter, and a new friend dozed on the floor while visiting us with his family. Either our home is comfortable or we're incredibly dull company!

Isn't this a funny family specialty? It isn't one I would have thoughtfully chosen, yet God brings us nappers. Being identified as The Napping House is a small example of a unique family identity. I imagine the endless unique family identities God has provided for families to act as family glue, some so quirky they might be overlooked.

On that note, I'm off to nap. Have a blessed Sunday!

Article Find: Rejecting Modern Materialism: The Rise of the Crunchy-Conservatives

Rejecting Modern Materialism: The Rise of the Crunchy-Conservatives gives a taste of the book Crunchy Cons. This book first came onto my radar a few months ago. After reading this article, I'm ready to read this family-centered book. It looks to be an interesting follow-up to It Takes a Family.

Article Find: Penance Begins at Home

Penance Begins at Home by Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle is a gentle reminder that the Church,

insists first of all that the virtue of penitence be exercised in persevering faithfulness to the duties of one’s state in life, in the acceptance of the difficulties arising from one’s work and from human coexistence, in a patient bearing of the trials of earthly life and of the utter insecurity which pervades it.

The Author goes on to describe concrete ways in which parents, especially mothers, can find ways to be more connected to their children during Lent.

Thank you, Donna Marie, for the reminder and permission to stop and truly be present for our children.

Importance of Sleep, Again

As I have already fessed up to needing a lot of sleep, I was pleased to see yet another article on the importance of sleep, this one focused onteens. The article reports that most teens are sleep-deprived and functioning on two hours less sleep per evening than is needed.

What is so important for teens that it trumps sleep for two hours each night? When I asked my teen this question she responded, "When teens go to school, they start school too early then they have a ton of homework. Plus, if they want to have any friends, have a job, or help their family, they have to do that at night too. I bet a lot of them feel pressured to study a lot to get into a good college and do other things to get into college. They are only free to do all that in the evening and on weekends."

Underlying this is a cultural lack of valuing sleep. The bumper sticker, "I'll sleep when I'm dead," comes to mind. Sleep is supposedly something for slackers and suckers. I'm not buying it! As parents we must provide for and protect our children's sleep. We can begin by setting an example of valuing sleep ourselves.

Sick Babe in Arms

Yesterday, our ten month old was ill. He had a moderately high fever and wanted only to be in mama's arms. As I held him, knowing how precious these moments were, I thanked God to be able to be home with him. I stared at his sweet face and assured him that he was doing well. I rocked and sang and watched and prayed.

Too many mothers are being robbed of the experience of caring for their sick children. Other mothers are thoughtlessly throwing the opportunity away. Some of the deepest, and longest lasting connects are made during these precious times. Baby grows in trust. Mother grows in tenderness. And oh the joy when baby is well again.

Sing for Each Other

While at Mass yesterday, I sat between my mother and teen daughter. The three of us shared care of baby. During the Offertory, we sang Amazing Grace. I smiled as the three of us belted out this hymn that reminds us of my deceased grandmother Me-Me, my mother's mother. We sang one, two, three, four verses. Unusually, due to a second collection, we moved to the fifth verse...

When we've been there ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we'd first begun.

Within the first line, my mother and I became silent. I was choked with tears. I stared straight ahead at the altar, fighting to keep my composure. I felt so close to the promise of eternal life, to the communion of saints, and to my mother and Me-Me that I was overwhelmed. My mother was comforting me with her mutual silence. We didn't dare look at each other.

Then I heard my daughter's voice singing clearly, confidently, and beautifully. She pulled me back to the pew, to my amazing here and now. She was singing our song when my mom and I couldn't. Amazing Grace how sweet the sound.

Clipboards and Binders...

...and PDAs, Oh My!

To wrap up my little thoughts on family organization, I have two more words for you...clipboards and binders.

Clipboards hold all papers that are transient in nature, are used by more than one person, or are used daily. We have a family clipboard that holds our checklist of our daily chores. We have a formal work clipboard that holds our checklist of what we want to do with our home education. I have my mom clipboard to catch stray papers.

Binders hold information that isn't used everyday. Each family member has their own binder, divided into categories based on our priorities.

If it isn't in my PDA, it is on a clipboard or in a binder. At least, I hope 80% of what is important is!

As soon as I find a mom watch, I'll let you know.

Have a blessed Sunday!

Handheld PDA

If you haven't taken the PDA plunge yet, now may be the time. Palm has recently released their latest, the Palm Z22, just in time for the demise of my first Palm, a Zire. At $100.00, the price is right. All the basics are covered; calendar, memo, notepad, address book, etc. Yet, it doesn't have all the bells and whistles that a mom may not want or need. For a few more dollars, I purchased the air case which is now being offered for free with the Z22 purchase. Nice:).

Why use a PDA instead of paper? The main reason for me is to have a backup of my important information on my computer via Palm Desktop Software, and vice versa, my Palm is a backup of some of my important computer information. I also love the portability.

Before taking the plunge, you may benefit from looking at other PDAs. You may also want to look at upgrading from the start. Palm has a nifty Select a Model Wizard and I bet other makers have similar helps.

Two years ago when I purchased my first Palm, I paid $150.00 for a refurbished model plus $50.00 for a warranty. Now, for what comes down to ~$10.00 a month for one year, I have a fine tool to help me with my job as Family Manager and my vocation as wife and mother. Great deal.

Family Organization: 80% Rule

Although I know the basic steps of organization, have read many books on the topic, and have been working on family organization for many years, I am an amateur. My best guess is that I will never feel completely organized. Being organized "good enough" is our family's modest and doable goal.

I like modest and doable goals because they keep me in good spirits. Good spirits on the part of a wife and mother are much more valuable to my husband and children than perfect organization. This isn't a cop out and I'm no slacker! If I become too fussy about the scattered baseball equipment or the forgotten errand my husband was to run, it ruins family relationships. My husband encourages our family to follow the 80% rule. Translated: If we stick to our priorities, To Do list, calendar, schedule, etc. MOST of the time, 80% of the time, we are doing well. If we strive for my version of 100%, we are always failing which is not good for family morale and unity.

Besides, the best organization allows for flexibility. Our family wants to loosen our grasp and let God and His will in. We want to absorb..Grandma coming by to help sew a dress...a friend calling to process her fear about her child's illness...the plumber coming to put in a new hot water heater and he's late!...Grandpa taking the boys fishing because the weather is beautiful and the fish are biting...daily phone calls from dad whenever he can make them...

Which gets me to my final book on family organization which is very popular in Catholic circles right now, A Mother's Rule of Life. From an organizational point of view, the book is solid, clear, and full of specific suggestions to help organize a family. It is a hard earned and honest sharing of what has worked for the author. I gleaned several good ideas from it. Yet, I would caution that if taken wholeheartedly, it is unnecessarily rigorous and misleading. It is definitely all about being 100%. I can see where it could be misunderstood that all mothers are called to a rigorous Rule and that those who don't follow it are failing themselves, their family, and God. A Rule is an arbitrary human construct and our Church, in her wisdom and mercy, has not dictated a Rule for wives and mothers. Be not afraid! Go forth and organize...80%...more than good enough.

Family Organization: Attack

Now that you have analyzed and strategized, the fun begins. Take your prioritized To Do list and take the top priorities of each category and put them on your calendar. Be realistic and try not to underestimate how long a task will take to complete. Develop the habit of looking at your calendar at the beginning of your week and then again daily.

These three steps, Analyze Strategize and Attack (ASA) are the bare bone steps of organizing. Every organizing book repeats them under different names, adding their particular expertise, tips, and emphasis.

Here are a few resources to consider in addition to Organizing from the Inside Out. Time Management for Catholics discusses Catholic priorities beautifully. Years ago I read a Kathy Peel book and grasped the idea of being a Family Manager and continue to use her binder organizing idea. I can't speak personally for FlyLady but have enough mom friends praising this resource that I'm half tempted to check things out myself!

Next, I'll share the reality of family organization, which isn't picture perfect but suffices to provide enough glue to hold us together.

Family Organization: Strategize

After you have Analyzed your family situation and all family members have shared their input, it is time for step 2, Strategize.

Take your To Do list and divide it into two categories. The first is "Essential" and the second is "Unessential." Be truthful and brutal! Now, take the Essential List items and place them into categories based on your family priorities. You may also want to sub-divide into other helpful categories such as Finance, Household, etc. Be careful not to have to many categories. Within each category, put items in order of importance, numbering them. If you are very brave, throw away the Unessential List. If not, put the Unessential List away until you have made some headway on the Essential List.

The product of this step is a list of your To Do priorities. Next, we'll attack!

Family Organization: Analyze

Disorganization undermines family unity. Disorganization leads to misunderstandings about how our surroundings should be kept (organizing space) and how we should spend our time (organizing time.) This leads to bickering, hard feelings, frustration, and time wasted. Finding simple ways to help all family members work toward a mutual understanding of organization is helpful.

There are three main steps to any organizing project. Here is a handy dandy acronym for the three steps that I picked up from Organizing from the Inside Out, A.S.A., which stands for:

1. Analyze
2. Strategize
3. Attack

To Analyze means to stop before you act. Figure out what your family needs. Hold a family meeting. Brainstorm. Take time, a few days at least, to collect all things that the family wants to do. The final product of this step is to have a comprehensive To-Do list.

That's it for now. Next, we'll strategize.

Speaking of American Politics

I continue to read It Takes a Family and am enjoying Rick Santorum's strong Orthodox Catholic voice. I appreciate his clarity about the family, not the individual, being the smallest unit of society. Against the Grain by Mark Shea is a much shorter read that also places the family at the center of political decision-making.

Food for Catholic, family-centered, political thought.

Have a blessed Sunday!

Laugh Break 5 Irish Humor

I grew up in NE Pennsylvania and my hometown's St. Patty's Day parade was the biggest event of the year. Really. Corned beef and cabbage, soda bread, and more. Picture green...lots of green...especially lots of green beer. I remember the jokes, many of which would not be considered politically correct. Yet, I remember the from-the-bottom-of-your-toes laughing. Big belly laughing. So here's a joke, in the spirit of Parade Day laughing...

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"Why of course," comes the reply.

The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.

The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of Course," replies the second man.

Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man.
"I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks:
"What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man.
"I graduated in '62."

"This is unbelievable!" the first man says.
"I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

After writing this entry draft last night, I was pleased to wake up to this article, The Value of Irish Humor. In it, Tom Purcell writes, "James Thurber, one of my favorite humorists, says the wheels of humor are set in motion by the damp hand of melancholy. Aristotle wrote that comedy and tragedy are close cousins. The Irish have long known that humor and laughter are our chief weapons for combating sadness and pain."

May some Irish humor find its way to you today as we hold close to our hearts Lent and the sadness and pain of Christ's suffering for us. Happy St. Patrick's Day.

It Takes a Family

I'm currently reading It Takes a Family by Rick Santorum. I'm just getting started and wanted to share this.

But again, where do we first learn to trust? From government regulators? No. Trust is first created within and then nurtured by healthy families. The seedbed of the social trust that forms healthy societies is the confidence and trust a child has in her parents. A child's experience of trustworthy parents in her formative years not only influences her ability to establish trusting relationships in adulthood, it will also act as a basic glue within her own eventual family. This is one of the reasons for concern about the widespread breakdown of the family in America: for too many children, family disharmony and divorce shatters their self-confidence. When the primary social bonds between parent and child are broken, trust forever after is almost always hard-won.

Trustworthy parents are basic glue. I like that.

Lullaby and Good Night

I first began singing lullabies to my first child when I became pregnant with my second. I was looking for gentle and loving ways to help her drift off to sleep when I was unable to nurse her for extended periods of time. Unfortunately, I knew only a few song segments. Off to the library I went to find lyrics and melodies. I learned Hush Little Baby, Golden Slumber, Lullaby and Good Night, Lavender's Blue, Little Boy Blue, Toora Loora Toora, and more. I dinked out the melody on a kid's keyboard and to this day am not sure if I am singing all of the tunes correctly. No matter!

There was a brief time when I wasn't singing lullubies to a little child. Then our latest baby arrived on the scene and the lullubies returned. I was surprised to find that our older children still found them dear. I was surprised to find that I had missed them.

Arizona Sling Mama

I purchased my first sling when my teen was a few months old. I had tried many baby carriers, never noticing slings until I finally found some kindred spirits at a La Leche League meeting. Much of my mothering is connected to using a sling. I just wouldn't know what to do without it.

Having a baby in Arizona presented new challenges to slinging, mainly heat and sun. My sister recommended a solarveil sling made by a mom in North Carolina. I purchased one and couldn't be happier. Now my industrious (and forgiving) sister sells a similar product at Jennifer's Natural Family Boutique. Just lift the extra material over baby's head for great sun protection.

Here is an article that gives Ten Reasons to Wear Your Baby as well as many links on the topic. Happy slinging!

Snow on the Superstition Mountains

Yesterday morning our family awoke to a memory in the making. After some leisurely family time, my husband and the boys went to the park to play baseball. A few minutes out the door my phone rang. It was my husband telling me to go outside and look at the mountains. It is not unusual for us to look at the gorgeous Arizona Superstition mountains so I didn't think twice and headed out the backyard for a look, expecting beautiful color and shadow. To my delight, the mountains were topped with snow! Our neighbors tell us this blessing happens about once a decade, remembering back to 1991 when snow last covered the Superstitions.

While at church, the glory of God was extra evident as we looked out the enormous clear glass window, purposely placed to showcase the Superstitions. The cumulus clouds floated as if out of a dream, lifting our eyes toward heaven.

My parents treated us to lunch after Mass and everywhere we turned, the conversation was snow. When we drove to the park to play with the children, the usually empty roads were flooded with cars and photographers. I never would have guessed that so many people owned tripods for their cameras!

God willing, we'll have another chance to see this extraordinary snow show in ten years. If so, I bet we'll remember this day. We'll remember that the baby was in a sling, the boys were starting Little League, and our teen was planning her first solo flight back east to visit family. We'll remember lunch with Grandma and Daddypa. We'll remember this restful Sunday, when God's creative beauty touched us in a most breath-taking way.

Family Management Saturday

Last year we dropped something that had worked well for our family in the past, and we paid for it. Family Management Saturday is simply setting aside one Saturday a month for me, the family manager, to do monthly tasks such as online banking, purchasing, etc. While I'm stuck at the computer offering up my inclination toward distaste for much of this work, my family is holding down the fort and doing their own monthly household chores. Today I worked on our taxes. Say no more.

Making Family Management Saturday a priority was our family New Year's Eve resolution. Well, technically I asked for it and the other family members agreed. Expecting joy about this is asking a wee bit too much. Three months into the year, I feel a burden lifting off of my shoulders. I am trusting that I will get my one Saturday a month, no matter what.

When mom is happy and feeling that her workload is doable, the whole family is happy. That's good family glue.

Have a blessed Sunday!

Little Vacation to the Shore

Our family is off to the coast for a mini-vacation. Our goal is to enjoy the beach in a leisurely manner. It may be cool and rainy. We couldn't be more pleased! We have our One Small Square Seashore book, some simple food, and clothes for layering packed. We're even bringing my parents along for some added fun. These breaks from our routine fill us up with rest and love and special common experiences and often a shared fiasco story or two. There is something about vacations that lend themselves to making lifelong memories...real good family glue.

Have a blessed Sunday! See you next week.

Anxiety Is Not From Christ

"Anxiety is not from Christ." That is what my Confessor said. I didn't need to ask him where it came from.

I battle anxiety everyday. I live in an anxious time, in an anxious culture, in a subset of seriously high (and anxious) overachievers, devout Catholic homeschooling moms. God bless us! Yet, defeat anxiety we must.

In all your affairs, rely entirely on the providence of God through which alone all your plans succeed...Strive very gently to cooperate with it. Then, believe that if you trust well in God success will come to you.

~St. Francs de Sales

God loves me. Christ is risen. The communion of saints is cheering. Why am I anxious?

RAPT Family Prayer

I picked up the acronym, RAPT, from Peter Kreeft in his lovely book Prayer for Beginners as a way to remember the four main parts of prayer (and Mass.) They are Repentance, Adoration, Petitions, and Thanksgiving.

On three evenings a week, our family joins together for our special Family Prayer. We make the sign of the cross together then we take turns saying something we are sorry for while sharing how we plan to make amends. We share a few minutes of silent Adoration. We read from our book of petitions where we have gathered prayer requests and we add our individual intentions. We end with taking turns sharing what we are thankful for.

Young children especially love this form of family prayer. They know what to expect yet there is enough freedom within the format to give them room for personal expression. Some of my most cherished times as a mother have been spent listening to my children share their honest prayers with us before God.

1 Corinthians 13 for Homeschool Moms

1 Corinthians 13 for Homeschool Moms

Though I teach my children how to multiply, divide, and diagram a
sentence, but fail to show them love, I have taught them nothing.

And though I take them on numerous field trips, to basketball practice
and flute lessons; and though I involve them in every church activity
but fail to give them love, I profit nothing.

And though I scrub my house relentlessly, run countless errands, and
serve three nutritious meals every day but fail to be an example of
love, I have done nothing.

Love is patient with misspelled words and is kind to three-year-old
interrupters. Love does not envy the high SAT scores of other
homeschool families. Love does not claim to have better teaching
methods than anyone else, is not rude to the fourth telephone caller
during a science lesson, does not seek perfectly behaved geniuses,
does not turn into a drill sergeant, thinks no evil about friends'
educational choices.

Love bears all my children's challenges, believes all my children are
God's precious gifts, hopes all my children establish permanent
relationships with Christ, and endures all things to demonstrate God's
love.

Love never fails. Where there are college degrees, they will fail;
where there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and
we teach in part. But when the trials of life come to our children,
the history, math, and science will be done away and faith, hope, and
love will remain; but the greatest of these is love.

author unknown

Thanks, Victoria, for sharing this with me.

On a Plane Headed Toward Heaven

Years ago I read Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families. He uses a metaphor that has been helpful, especially when our family isn't feeling on track and are working hard to not feel behind. Here is my take on it. When a pilot begins his trip from one airport to another, he has a final destination and a map. Yet while flying, the pilot is off his precise course most of the time. He anticipates this. He brings the plane back on course over and over again. He trusts that he will reach his destination.

Too often I am tempted to become anxious if I feel that our family is off course. The goal is to somehow lovingly get back on course, over and over again. We work at trusting our map, the teachings of the Catholic Church. We keep our eyes upon Christ and our final destination of spending eternity with Him.

Comfort Food: Chicken Soup

If I had to choose only one hot meal for each of my family members to learn how to make, it would be chicken soup. Chicken soup is the ultimate comfort food, perfect for illnesses, cold nights, and gift-giving to a family in need. It took a few years to find the right chicken soup recipe for me. This recipe is easy to make and tastes light. Roasting the chickens first is key.

Chicken Noodle Soup from Whole Foods for the Whole Family

2 1/2 to 3 lb. whole chicken
2 C. water
1/2 lb. carrots, chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
4 or 5 stalks celery, chopped
1 T butter
8 C water
6-8 oz. noodles
1/2 to 1 t salt
dash of pepper

Place whole chicken in baking pan with 2 C water; bake 2 hours, uncovered, at 325 degrees. Cool chicken (reserving broth,) and discard skin and bones. Saute vegetables in butter in 4-5 qt. pot until golden. Add broth from baking pan and 4 C water. Add remaining water to baking pan; bring to a boil on top of stove, stirring up cooked bits from pan; add this water to pot with chicken meat. Bring to a boil; simmer 1 hour or longer. Add noodles 20 minutes before serving. Season to taste. Makes about 14 C.

I usually double the batch to make sure that I have enough to freeze for a quick family dinner.

Two Week Meal Planning and Sprouts

I've been food shopping differently since Sprouts came to our area. I take a simple one sheet grid with days of the week listed down the left and meals listed across the top. Within some of the grid blocks, I add notes, such as "Crockpot Meal" or "Meatless." I go shopping on Wednesdays when Sprouts weekly specials overlap. While shopping, I fill in the grid with meal ideas.

I know the usual shopping rules. Always go with a menu and a list. Well, Sprouts has unpublished managers specials so it now makes most sense to purchase what is on special, then make a meal from it. allrecipe.com makes it easy to find recipes to fit our food.

Have you ever asked yourself, "Where does the fruit go that doesn't look perfect and isn't oversized?" It goes to Sprouts at great prices! Sprouts also sells clean meats and fish as reasonable prices. They have a Sprouts label for some basic items as well.

No Sprouts near you? A two week meal shopping grid may still help. Fill in the meals before hand out of the store flyer. Leave a block or two for specials and inspiration. When you return home, put the grid on the refrigerator. Over the next two weeks, note items you need in the margins. Make sure to train family members to do the same.

Have a blessed Sunday!

Olympic Memories

Our family was watching the women's figure skating finals of the Torino Winter Olympics when the discussion turned to past Olympics. My daughter talked about Sarah Hughes and Tara Lipinski. My parents and I talked about other skaters we remembered, right back to Dorothy Hamill, and beyond. Dating myself here, I was one of many young girls who promptly when out and cut my hip-length hair to look like Hamill's. My daughter thinks that's pretty funny.

As we sat on the couch, listing names, I was surprised at the details we all remembered, where we were when we watched a particular Olympic, what the different skaters wore, additional drama, and more. And all of this from people who don't follow ice skating!

My daughter was enthralled with all our skating memories. My guess is that in the future, God willing, family members will gather again to watch the women skate at the Olympics and we'll remember this night. I thank the Olympics, and especially the women skaters, for giving my family shared memories of excellence. Sometimes we just don't know what will turn into family glue.

23rd Psalm - Sharing Bible Verses

23rd Psalm

The Lord is my Shepherd;
I shall not want.

In verdant pastures He gives
me repose;

Before restful waters He leads
me; He refreshes my soul.

He guides me in right paths for
His name's sake.

Even though I walk in the dark
valley I fear no evil;

for you are at my side, with your
rod and your staff that give me
courage.

You spread a table for me in the
sight of my foes; you anoint my
head with oil; my cup overflows.

Only goodness and kindness
follow me all the days of my life;
And I shall dwell in the house of
the Lord for years to come.

Our family loves when we read the23rd Psalm during Mass or our daily bible reading. We all smile in recognition. Years ago we memorized the King James version found in Michael Hague's sweet book. This was one of the first bible verses that we chose to memorize. Since then, we have enjoyed comparing the different bible versions of this well-loved psalm. During today's reading, we gave special attention to this verse KJV, "Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me." Our St. Joseph's Edition of the New American Bible reads as the above quote, "You are at my side, with your rod and your staff that give me courage." We talked at length about the richness of words and other related thoughts and ideas.

Shared common experiences are family glue. Sharing the Word of God is super glue!

Activities for Body and Beauty

I wish I could remember the resource that first brought the idea of "one activity for the body and one activity for beauty" to my attention. This idea is a real keeper. Simply, when our family looks at extra curricular activities, we look for one that will help us to care for our body and one that will help us to appreciate beauty. Currently, for beauty our children are taking piano lessons with me at home. We have discussed other options for the future such as chorus, acting, and painting. For the body, our daughter has taken karate for years and is becoming quite accomplished. Our boys are playing baseball and loving it.

Here are some other ideas that have helped us to choose activities. We pay attention to and encourage the children to consider their interests and talents. We start formal lessons when they have a strong desire and readiness. We look for activities that are close to home. We find great local opportunities and folks willing to share their talents. We stay within our financial means. We share activities when possible. For example, the boys play baseball while the rest of us cheer them on and the whole family follows the Diamondbacks. We also hold in our hearts that these activities are to bring challenge and joy as well as to do God's will.

Never Behind

Living as if our family is exactly where God wants us to be is great family glue. It is so easy to fall into the trap of chronically feeling "behind." Our culture moves so fast, often moving rapidly away from God. Yet, even those of us who love God and want to love Him better can get too busy. We make our to-do lists, fill in our calendars, and make plans of noble pursuits. But then the unexpected happens. We get the flu. We move. We have unexpected company. We don't finish the math lesson. In a blink of an eye, we are behind. But are we really behind?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, on your own intelligence rely not; In all your ways be mindful of him, and he will make straight your paths.

~Proverbs 3:5

We prefer to see ourselves as being exactly where God wants us to be at this moment. We are taking a detour, from our perspective, that will make us more loving and more God focused. He is making straight our paths, just as He promised.

Family Movie Night

There was a time when our children were young and we didn't own a television. Slowly over time we have integrated television use back into the family. One of the best uses of the television has been Family Movie Night. Once a week, usually on Friday night, we all watch a family movie together. We do our best to pick a movie that will be enjoyable for the whole family which is not an easy feat!

Our most recent family movie was, Around the World in 80 Days. No one would rate this a great movie, but sometimes good enough movies are just what this family needs on a Friday night after a long week. We all laughed out loud at different parts of the movie. We also laughed twice as loud watching our seven year old fall on the floor while laughing at the slap-stick antics.

I can be practical to a fault. I'm tempted to turn everything into a "learning experience." I'm also not a movie fan. I'm tempted to dismiss my older children's desire to watch movies as unnecessary. Fortunately over time, relaxing with my family in front of a good enough movie (and sometimes a GREAT movie) is changing my mind. Pass the popcorn, please!

Sleep

Sleep is serious family glue. When our family doesn't get enough sleep, we don't do well before God or with each other. Sleep deprivation can sneak up on us and leave us snippy and lethargic. We prioritize sleep as part of our personal care that will help us to love God and others better.

This past week, we goofed. We lost sleep while taking a child to the emergency room one night. We lost sleep watching the Olympics for "just a little bit longer." We stayed late at Grandma and Grandpa's. We missed a few naps for good reason too. Sigh.

Many great saints have deprived themselves of sleep and have been given many graces to persevere. I'm no where near this level of calling. I have to humbly stick to basics, to include at least nine hours of sleep a day. As a mother, I start at the place that I am not entitled to 8 hours of straight sleep each night. Mine is a 24/7 vocation. By sharing sleep with my little ones and napping, I am able to cobble together the sleep I need. I help our children to get the sleep they need. We carefully monitor our sleep-related virtues...are we being lazy?...are we giving into sloth? Usually the answer is no. We are most often trying to do too much and just need to stop and sleep.

Family Learning Quote, Charlotte Mason

Example is better than precept, and more convincing than the soundest reasoning.

~Charlotte Mason

Found in Learning for Life: Eduational Words of Wisdom, compiled and edited by Teri Ann Berg Olsen.

Valentine Centerpiece

Often the simplest ideas have the best and most pleasntly surprising results. This past Sunday I strewed material and supplies to make valentines on our dining room table. We leisurely made valentines and gave them to each other on Valentine's day. The valentines were all so pretty, we decided to display them as part of our table centerpiece. This ballooned into everyone contributing something else to include flowers, candles, candy, and more. The final product isn't Martha Stewart pretty but in our eyes, it is beautiful.

St. Valentine Day

We have collected a few sweet St. Valentine day family traditions. Years ago we made these easy as can be crayon hearts. To our delight, they have lasted and we have hung them in our different homes in a sunny window. Saint Valentine is a lovely book to read aloud to the whole family. We have to have the classic candy, Sweethearts. Heart shaped pancakes for breakfast are fun. If strawberries look good, we slice them vertically to make heart shapes and serve them on the pancakes with whipped cream. A drop of red food dye turns milk pink.

We also make special Valentines for family members. This year we purchased some beautiful Valentine paper and card kits at the Target Dollar Spot back in December. We added some paper doilies, stickers, glitter glue, and voila'.

Happy St. Valentine day!

Slow Cooker

Early in my mothering, I wasn't into using a crock pot, also called a slow cooker. I guess I was into making things as hard on myself as possible.

I currently use two 6 qt. oval programmable slow cookers. I really appreciate the Warm Setting that it switches to when it has finished cooking. I have the classic, Fix It and Forget It cookbooks, the original and the one for entertaining. Don't forget to check out allrecipes.com for other slow cooker ideas.

Here's one of my favorite ideas for entertaining. Choose a main dish recipe and make one with beef/pork and the other with chicken. Serve this with a big green salad and whole grain bread. Most folks will find something to enjoy!

Laugh Break 4

I found this Considerate Catholic Parking Lot Pointers at the back of our church recently. I live in a town that triples in population during the winter. Retirees, also known as snow birds, come to beautiful Arizona during the winter months to enjoy the heat. Some of the greatest HEAT can be found in my parish parking lot as folks jockey for position in a way that I have never witnessed anywhere else. We're talking, the Sheriff's Department has been called out on Sundays to deal with traffic issues that are affecting the community to include accidents and fender-benders galore. What is the answer to this dilemma? You betcha...a gentle and positive pamphlet.

You have got to be kidding! The ruthlessness of this parking lot can't possibly be touched by, "The main reason for problems in the parking lot is the impatience of people who are running late." Not here. Retired folks show up 45 minutes early for Mass. "Go to your closet and look at the outfits you and your family plan to wear. You may find some of the items aren't ready to be worn." Not here. Making a fashion statement doesn't seem to be an issue for retirees. "This may seem obvious, but it needs to be said: If you see a sign that says No Parking, please don't park there." Not here. No one reads signs. "Pray that someday everyone will be as good a driver as you are and for the strength to tolerate them until they are." Now that's, funny.

It is obvious to our family that these pamphlets can't touch our parking lot issues. The level of problem here would need to be addressed by, let's say, on-going homilies about entitlement. The good news is that this pamphlet has given our family an inside joke and an ongoing laugh. Not the intended outcome, but a good one none the less.

allrecipes.com

Once again, All Recipes saved my day. I started using this free webpage a few years ago and continue to enjoy what it offers. I'm good at looking past the advertisements in order to find great recipes, helpful reviews, and a useful filing system.

I purchased fresh catfish on sale today and found this oven fried catfish recipe. Cabbage was on sale, too, so I made this apple cole slaw which was yummy, even when I added sliced fresh spinach for added color and nutrition. I rounded this meal off with whole grain crackers. We had a thumbs-up family dinner within 40 minutes.

A Kitten and a Baby

Most of our family was recovering from the flu the day after Christmas when my well son came running into the house from the backyard with news. He had been in the shed and saw something small and fluffy with big eyes. Sure enough, there was the tiniest kitten sitting quietly and helplessly in the corner of our shed.

Noel is now a chubby kitten who is our furry entertainment committee. She and our nine month old are especially cute together. They like the same things. Balls, paper, ribbons, and tiny specks of debris on the floor are endlessly fascinating. They look at each other with great interest, as if they have a special understanding that the rest of us don't quite get. They know simple joy.

I must have been delirious with fever when I agreed to bring this kitten into our home. Under normal circumstances, my practicality might have gotten in the way of bringing this bundle of furry joy into the family. I wonder how many other opportunities for joy, and family unity, I have missed because I wasn't weak enough to say yes.

Toddler Rules - Laugh Break 3

Our littlest has been the most easy going baby I have ever known. He has most certainly been the most easy going baby I have mothered. Well...he is nine months old now and he is decidedly one of us. Over night he has become Mr. Opinionated! As he was demanding the telephone and the remote and the knife, I watched my older children look on puzzled. Then I reminded them about Toddler Property Laws:

1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my hand, Its mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, It's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I am doing or building something,all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks like mine, it is mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it's broken, it's yours.

My children thought these were hilarious! Instead of locking into a view of their baby brother as a wrecking ball on hands and knees, they received a glimpse into normal child development which often softens the heart. Once again, humor saves the day!

What You Won't Find Here!

A friend with a great sense of humor told me that she read my blog and was disgusted. "Do your kids REALLY clean that easily?" We laughed and had a great discussion about the reality of our day in and day out lives. She told me that she had one perfect day a long time ago and that it still fuels her. You know, the day that goes seamlessly from one activity to the next including a home-made meal for dinner. In the future, when her children-in-law ask her, "How did you do it, Amazing Mother Dear?" she is going to describe that day as if it were everyday. Perhaps she'll grow to believe it herself. Unfortunately, we have a strong suspicion that her children won't let her get away with the deception.

So, just to prove that my family doesn't have all the answers and that our life is messy, perhaps even MESSIER than my friend's, here is a partial list of what you won't find at this blog:

financial management, saving money, investing money, shopping, sewing, scrapbooking, crafts in general, photo albums, gardening, landscaping, raising Merit Scholars, style in general to include make-up, nail care, flattering hair styles and outfits, and home decorating, home repair, organizing big projects, group trips, traveling, juggling a lot of outside the home activities, taming the paper tiger, running a home business...

Well, you get the drift. I better stop here before I REALLY embarrass myself.

This blog focuses on what our family does well, we stick together. I share what has worked for us and may work for others. This isn't meant to give a false impression or to discourage. Quite the contrary! This blog is to give hope based on the truth that God blesses each family with an abundance of opportunities to grow in family unity. We just need to trust Him and say, "Yes!"

Have a blessed Sunday!

Birthday Traditions

Today we are celebrating one of my son's 7th birthday! Seven is a sweet age with one of the perks being that you know exactly what you expect for your birthday. We parents find out weeks in advance what is most important according to the birthday boy.

As I listened to what this child wanted, he talked about the sweet birthday traditions that have creeped into the family over the years. He likes that his dad decorates the family and dining room with birthday streamers and balloons the night before so that when he wakes up, he is "...surprised because I'm still sleepy and haven't remembered that it is my birthday yet...then I remember!" He likes the poster board that dad decorates with birthday greetings, stickers, and stick people and animals all singing the birthday boy's praises. He likes that he gets to pick out his dinner (French toast made by his grandfather this year,) and his cake (Carvel ice cream cake.) He likes using the "THIS IS YOUR SPECIAL DAY" plate. He especially likes when we go around the table during dinner and share ALL the things we like about him. Of course he can't wait to open his gifts, many sent from across the country. Finally, he likes to hear his birth story. He is very proud that HIS was my easiest birth.

My husband and I never set out to make sweet birthday traditions. Fortunately for us, they happened. Our day started with Mass and our family will give the birthday boy a final special birthday blessing before he goes to bed. When all is quiet, his Dad and I will spend a few minutes together before the Lord, thanking Him for this most precious child.

Prayer Pegs

When I took my first tentative steps back toward Catholicism, the first prayer that we prayed together as a family was Grace before meals.

Bless us, O Lord and these Thy gifts,
Which we are about to receive,
From Thy bounty through Christ Our Lord.
Amen.

This simple prayer opened the floodgate of Grace through which the Holy Spirit helped guide us home.

Once this habit was developed, I had become increasingly interested in the many beautiful Catholic prayers that I hadn't learned as a child. Our family began memorizing prayers and connecting them to family activities. One of the simplest prayer pegs is to "stack" our prayers at meals. For example, currently at breakfast we say Grace plus the Spiritual Adoption prayer, and a prayer for the souls in purgatory.

More prayer pegs to come...

Pegs and Family Rhythm

"Pegs" is a humane time organizational model that offers order as well as flexibility. I first came across the term and idea of pegs years ago through the CCM list. This is my take on pegs, which may look very different from others' understanding.

We have daily pegs connected to the clock and calendar. For example, at 7:30 a.m., the older children rise and start their morning routine, at noon we have lunch, at 8:00 p.m. we prepare for bed. We also have daily pegs connected to activities. We pray at every meal, read while I nurse on the couch, and watch an educational DVD while eating lunch. We have weekly, monthly, and yearly pegs connected to the clock and calendar as well as to activities. More specifics to come in later posts.

Some family schedules, often strictly clock/calendar based, can be too tight leaving little room for reality and Grace. Family members can feel needlessly burdened and chronically "behind." Some family schedules, often activity directed, can be too loose,leaving to much room for chaos and lack of discipline. Family members can feel disjointed and at the mercy of whims.

No schedule is perfect and ours is ever changing to accommodate new needs, but a good rhythm offers both order and flexibility. Pegs, combined with right priorities, isn't too tight, isn't too loose...but juuuuuust right.