One of the great perks of knowing how to be together as a family is that when you are REALLY together, I mean, stuck in a teeny tiny van together for a six hour drive and a teeny tiny room upon arrival, you already know some ways of getting along that are firmly planted. You also have no grand illusions of how easy and relaxing this will all be.
Tip 1: Plan but don't over plan.
Often one parent is the primo planner while the other is the, um, less than primo planner. What the primo planner may not know is that the under-planner may be onto something. Over-planning not only expends a ton of energy before a trip, but it can set expectations too high and thwart flexibility and spontaneity upon arrival. The best way to not over plan is to focus less on planning a tight schedule, and plan based on family priorities.
Tip 2: Identify family priorities.
We had a brief meeting a few days before our trip and talked about what we liked about past vacations and what we didn't like. We listed everything that anyone liked. Then we talked about what "vacation" means to each of us. Some of us love lots of activity, some of us like to sleep in, some of us like an orderly room, some like to eat great Italian food (that's me!) Don't forget to fill in what your littles will like to do...sleep, play undisturbed, not be dragged to too many activities, etc. From this list we chose our favorite activities to be placed on the calendar later.
Tip 3: Staying within a budget.
We talked about costs honestly before the trip and about how much we would like to spend. We got creative and found online coupons for some amusements and purchased a 2007 Entertainment book on sale cheap at Entertainment.com but you can also get them at Ebay - coupons good through Nov. 1 2007. We decided that somethings just weren't worth the money while others were.
Tip 4: Bring meals.
Bringing our own meals saves a ton of time, decisions, and money while our own food keeps our stomachs from acting out and helps us appreciate our few meals out. We keep it simple. Granola or muesli (soaked grains) and yogurt and fresh fruit for breakfast. These are easily eaten while driving. Carrot sticks or tortilla chips for snacks. Sandwiches (loaves of bread, deli meat, tomato, bagged salad, mayo and Italian dressing) or bean burritos (tortillas, pepperjack cheese, canned refried beans, and salsa) for lunch or dinner. We also purchased stuff for grilling while we were there. By the time we went out to eat (with solid recommendations and coupons in hand) let me tell you, everything was tasting really good!
Tip 5: Feast.
Bring lots of treats that you don't usually have. For us this means sweets and entertainment DVDs. We brought marshmallows and toasted them after grilling one meal. We brought hot chocolate and put in marshmallows (I'm noticing a pattern here.) We purchased a box of local chocolates while there. We chewed gum - while in the van - probably won't do THAT again. We purchased ice cream cones (with coupons) and cannolis (without coupons because they are SO worth it!) And we ate gourmet jelly beans...which leads me to...
Tip 6: Carry on traditions.
Somewhere along the line years ago I brought a bag of gourmet jelly beans on a long drive with the family. We turned the jelly beans into a game called "Name That Jelly Bean." One person looks at the jelly bean and hands it to another family member. That member isn't supposed to look (but they do) then eat it and try to figure out the flavor. One of the reasons some of us look is because no one wants to get stuck with "buttered popcorn." Some children think it is hilarious to stick their sibling with a "buttered popcorn." Oh the groans from the recipient and the howling of laughter from the rest of us - I mean them:). Anyway, now we have this tradition. We simply can not go on a long ride without the gourmet jelly beans. Look for and foster your own traditions. They tend to create themselves. By the way, my favorite jelly bean is cinnamon.
Tip 7: Fill in a calendar, loosely.
Take your favorite activities and place them on the calendar with enough cushion to absorb changes of plans. We find it easiest to stay at a place that is fun in and of itself. We are blessed to be able to stay at a military hotel on the beach. Being on the beach was our daily activity, then each day we would go out once either for a meal or for an additional activity. This was plenty.
Tip 8: Let the baby sleep.
Sleep is good for every one, especially little ones. And a well-rested little one is key to having a pleasant vacation. Make time for sleep and value it.
Tip 9: Keep discipline.
Parents, me included, tend to want to "relax" and "not parent" so much and "let the kids relax" and "have a good time" but the bottom line is that parents need to parent in order for all to have a good time. Since our older children are mostly cooperative, we brought two easy tools with us. We asked them to sit out from an activity until they were under control or we charged them money. Now before you think "How lame is that to charge kids money for lack of cooperation?" my kids were the ones who came up with this idea! And it worked. It only had to be used once in the van when two boys who shall go unnamed started doing the ole pushing and shoving "he's in my space" thing. Peace for a buck. Not bad.
Tip 10: Pray all prayers first!
We noticed that when we vacation, we don't stick to our whole daily prayer routine. We mean too but we miss something here or there. This trip, we said ALL of our daily prayers (yes, morning prayers, afternoon prayers and evening prayers) first thing in the morning. We either went for a walk on the beach and prayed them or we prayed them in the van on the way to an outing. I was reluctant at first to do this, worried that we would be irreverent or worse, but it was beautiful. There was something pretty powerful about such extended prayer, something rhythmical and enveloping. Plus, we didn't feel worried all day that we might "forget."
Our recent vacation was voted as the best yet by all family members. There was just enough rest and activity, plain food and fun food, nature and glitz, silliness and serious conversation, order and spontaneity, and prayer to meet each one's needs. Plus it was within our budget and I had excellent eggplant parmigiana and two different cannolis. Now, that's a vacation.
