When it comes to homeschooling blogs, I humbly direct you to Melissa Wiley's Here in the Bonny Glen. Not only is Melissa an accomplished writer, she is a passionate home educator, and a generous online friend.
Part of her incredible blog includes a list and links (Thanks, Lissa!) to our 4 Real Learning friends' blogs. Scroll down the left hand side and check them out! Looking for family glue ideas? You'll find them in abundance.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Monday, January 30, 2006
Time to Recover
Early in my mothering, an experienced mother shared this rule of thumb. For everyday a child is sick, give them an additional day to recover. Start the clock at the first sign of symptoms and stop it when symptoms are gone. If it has been one day, give one more day to recover. If it has been five, give five more days to recover. I will add, this works well for adults, too, when possible. Yet, it can be tempting to short change our recovery time. We are tempted to get back to life as usual as soon as our symptoms are gone. Not only are we not giving our bodies time to fully recover, we are missing an opportunity to rest and show comfort.
Saturday night, our 6 year old spiked a fever with no other symptoms. He ran the fever throughout the night and all day Sunday. We had him rest on the couch. We took turns bringing him water and fresh wash clothes for his forehead. He watched videos of his choice, a real treat. We read books together. We also cancelled plans for the day, other than Mass which we split so that someone was home with our little sick one. Sunday night, his fever was down and he was looking more like himself. When he woke up fever-free, we were happy... and tempted to go to our regularly scheduled gathering with friends. But we resisted, stayed home, and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves by eating well, resting, reading, playing games, listening to music, making cookies, and doing more relaxed things. Not only did our sick one get lots of extra attention and refueling, the rest of us had a relaxing and loving day too. These days are precious and not to be underestimated...or missed.
Saturday night, our 6 year old spiked a fever with no other symptoms. He ran the fever throughout the night and all day Sunday. We had him rest on the couch. We took turns bringing him water and fresh wash clothes for his forehead. He watched videos of his choice, a real treat. We read books together. We also cancelled plans for the day, other than Mass which we split so that someone was home with our little sick one. Sunday night, his fever was down and he was looking more like himself. When he woke up fever-free, we were happy... and tempted to go to our regularly scheduled gathering with friends. But we resisted, stayed home, and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves by eating well, resting, reading, playing games, listening to music, making cookies, and doing more relaxed things. Not only did our sick one get lots of extra attention and refueling, the rest of us had a relaxing and loving day too. These days are precious and not to be underestimated...or missed.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Share Sleep
This morning I woke up to the snuggling of my little one. He was making his unique little noises that told me he wanted to nurse but didn't want to wake up just yet. I glanced over him to see the handsome silhouette of my husband. The gentle light coming from our Madonna and Child Night Light enhanced the quiet beauty in the room.
Our family has chosen to share sleep and has experienced first hand its special warmth and tenderness. This has looked different depending on our circumstances and the needs of each child. Some of our children have needed night-time togetherness for a longer time than others. Once our children have left our bed, on their own volition or with gentle prodding, they have all slept well which I believe has to do with having their night-time needs met when young AND because, genetically speaking, God has blessed our family with good sleepers going way back.
There are so many options for finding necessary family rest. As a baby grows older, I feel that it is important to choose the most gentle and gradual separation options from the child's perspective, first. This is why. Adults can delay gratification and understand that just the right option may be around the corner and/or that this time is fleeting. Considering child brain development, issues of temperament, and an infinite number of known and unknown variables, there are valid reasons for a child to need parenting at night.
If I had to guess why sharing sleep has worked for this family, it is because my husband and I both are able and willing to share our sleep. I cherish my night alone time with my littlest and it so facilitates breastfeeding. My husband loves snuggling next our littles since he is away from them all day. As a care-provider who is on call 24/7, he sees that even adults need his care at night!
I just asked my older children what they think about sharing sleep with parents and siblings. They unanimously agreed that they have fond memories and warm feelings about it and plan to do the same with their children. They still enjoy times when we share sleep, while camping or at hotels or on Christmas Eve or in the living room dozing off during a movie...
Have a blessed Sunday!
Our family has chosen to share sleep and has experienced first hand its special warmth and tenderness. This has looked different depending on our circumstances and the needs of each child. Some of our children have needed night-time togetherness for a longer time than others. Once our children have left our bed, on their own volition or with gentle prodding, they have all slept well which I believe has to do with having their night-time needs met when young AND because, genetically speaking, God has blessed our family with good sleepers going way back.
There are so many options for finding necessary family rest. As a baby grows older, I feel that it is important to choose the most gentle and gradual separation options from the child's perspective, first. This is why. Adults can delay gratification and understand that just the right option may be around the corner and/or that this time is fleeting. Considering child brain development, issues of temperament, and an infinite number of known and unknown variables, there are valid reasons for a child to need parenting at night.
If I had to guess why sharing sleep has worked for this family, it is because my husband and I both are able and willing to share our sleep. I cherish my night alone time with my littlest and it so facilitates breastfeeding. My husband loves snuggling next our littles since he is away from them all day. As a care-provider who is on call 24/7, he sees that even adults need his care at night!
I just asked my older children what they think about sharing sleep with parents and siblings. They unanimously agreed that they have fond memories and warm feelings about it and plan to do the same with their children. They still enjoy times when we share sleep, while camping or at hotels or on Christmas Eve or in the living room dozing off during a movie...
Have a blessed Sunday!
Friday, January 27, 2006
St. Anthony
"Dear St. Anthony , we do pray, help us to find Mom's glasses, right away."
It had already been a tough day. In fact, I had gone out for a quick walk up the street to calm myself down, taking my glasses off and placing them at my shirt collar. I returned home from my walk, continued directing traffic at home, only to eventually realize that my glasses were missing. They could be anywhere. My heart sunk. Then...
I heard my children pray to St. Anthony for me. While I was struggling with my own discouragement, they prayed. Their words pulled me from my self-pity. We began our search. We looked up and down the block. Nothing. We went through the whole house. Nothing. We looked up and down the block again. Nothing. We asked our neighbors if they had seen my glasses. They laughed and tried to cheer me up. Nothing. I emailed my prayerful friends at 4Real and asked them to pray to St. Anthony for me.
Seven hours into my lost glasses saga...FOUND! They were found by our live-in St. Anthony, my son who has had the knack for finding things and recently took Anthony as his confirmation name. The glasses were in front of our home in the desert decorative rocks...rocks that look a lot like my brown wire rimmed glasses. I never would have found them on my own.
Praying to St. Anthony is one of the sweetest family habits we have formed. Sweet and efficient! Here's another really sweet version of this prayer that my friend Victoria shared: Tony, Tony, look around, something's lost and must be found.
I am so grateful our family knows we are part of the Communion of Saints. Here's a shorter explanation and an even shorter explanation. I am also grateful that my children, friends, and St. Anthony care about something as small as my missing eyeglasses. Reminds me that we are to bring all things, big and small, to God.
It had already been a tough day. In fact, I had gone out for a quick walk up the street to calm myself down, taking my glasses off and placing them at my shirt collar. I returned home from my walk, continued directing traffic at home, only to eventually realize that my glasses were missing. They could be anywhere. My heart sunk. Then...
I heard my children pray to St. Anthony for me. While I was struggling with my own discouragement, they prayed. Their words pulled me from my self-pity. We began our search. We looked up and down the block. Nothing. We went through the whole house. Nothing. We looked up and down the block again. Nothing. We asked our neighbors if they had seen my glasses. They laughed and tried to cheer me up. Nothing. I emailed my prayerful friends at 4Real and asked them to pray to St. Anthony for me.
Seven hours into my lost glasses saga...FOUND! They were found by our live-in St. Anthony, my son who has had the knack for finding things and recently took Anthony as his confirmation name. The glasses were in front of our home in the desert decorative rocks...rocks that look a lot like my brown wire rimmed glasses. I never would have found them on my own.
Praying to St. Anthony is one of the sweetest family habits we have formed. Sweet and efficient! Here's another really sweet version of this prayer that my friend Victoria shared: Tony, Tony, look around, something's lost and must be found.
I am so grateful our family knows we are part of the Communion of Saints. Here's a shorter explanation and an even shorter explanation. I am also grateful that my children, friends, and St. Anthony care about something as small as my missing eyeglasses. Reminds me that we are to bring all things, big and small, to God.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
CSS Family Night Bible Study
We have been enjoying the Catholic Scripture Study (CSS) Family Night for some time. It used to be found several layers deep at Catholic Exchange, making it difficult to find and difficult to direct others to it. A few weeks back, Catholic Exchange revamped its webpage and CSS Family Night was missing, to our disappointment. Now, it is back and easy to find on the webpage, smack in the middle. I hope this brings more attention, and families, to this sweet project.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Home Education as Super Glue + Laugh Break 2
I love homeschooling. I really love it. Learning at home offers our family an infinite number of opportunities to grow in family unity, enough to keep this blog going for years. You've been warned.
The practical matter for me is time and style. We have more time available together than most families. We are challenged to use time wisely, to learn how to work together, to depend on each other, and to be kind. Finding the right style and fit of home educating is crucial to learning and keeping family harmony. We are challenged to find ways of learning at home that are enriching, encouraging, and glorifying to God.
I also love homeschoolers. I really love them. I love the community, the lifestyle, the quirkiness, the encouragement, and the passion for learning. I also love the jokes. Here's one of the first I heard and it is still one of my favorites. How many homeschoolers does it take to change a lightbulb?
The practical matter for me is time and style. We have more time available together than most families. We are challenged to use time wisely, to learn how to work together, to depend on each other, and to be kind. Finding the right style and fit of home educating is crucial to learning and keeping family harmony. We are challenged to find ways of learning at home that are enriching, encouraging, and glorifying to God.
I also love homeschoolers. I really love them. I love the community, the lifestyle, the quirkiness, the encouragement, and the passion for learning. I also love the jokes. Here's one of the first I heard and it is still one of my favorites. How many homeschoolers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Family Read: Just David by Porter
Reading together as a family is a joy and blessing in so many ways. More on this later. For now, I'll share an excerpt from our current Family Read, Just David :
David loved nature, played beautiful music on his violin, and trusted his father's word. Strange indeed.
My heart leans toward the joy and beauty of life as captured by David. Yet, I identify with the poor woman looking for dirt. I can fuss too much about little things while missing the big picture of God's love. Fortunately for me, I have family and friends... and great Family Reads to remind me to look at the joy, love, and beauty that is all around me.
And they were so strange - these people! There were the boys and men who rose at dawn - yet never paused to watch the sun flood the world with light; who stayed in the fields all day - yet never raised their eyes to the big fleecy clouds overhead; who knew birds only as thieves after fruit and grain, and squirrels and rabbits only as creatures to be trapped or shot. The women - they were even more incomprehensible. They spent the long hours behind screened doors and windows, washing the same dishes and sweeping the same floors day after day. They, too, never raised their eyes to the blue sky outside, nor even to the crimson roses that peeped in at the window. They seemed rather to be looking always for dirt, yet not pleased when they found it - especially if it had been tracked in on the heel of a small boy's shoe!
More extraordinary than all this to David, however, was the fact that these people regarded him as strange.
David loved nature, played beautiful music on his violin, and trusted his father's word. Strange indeed.
My heart leans toward the joy and beauty of life as captured by David. Yet, I identify with the poor woman looking for dirt. I can fuss too much about little things while missing the big picture of God's love. Fortunately for me, I have family and friends... and great Family Reads to remind me to look at the joy, love, and beauty that is all around me.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Warm Welcome
When I was a new stay at home mother, I developed an awful habit. When my husband returned home from work each day, I would devour him with words of exhaustion, excitement, confusion, or whatever else was pent up within me from the day. He is a patient man and never complained. One day, I read a suggestion to warmly welcome my husband home. I tried it and WE liked it!
Now our children are expected to warmly welcome their father home. It is sweet to watch them jump off a bike, put down a basketball, or close a book to make dad their priority. This habit also spills over into warmly welcoming others to our home.
On difficult days, I still struggle. I work to force a smile or bite my tongue. I'm humbled that this simple kindness can still take all my will. Fortunately Mother Teresa reminds me, “God does not call us to do great things, but small things with great love.”
Now our children are expected to warmly welcome their father home. It is sweet to watch them jump off a bike, put down a basketball, or close a book to make dad their priority. This habit also spills over into warmly welcoming others to our home.
On difficult days, I still struggle. I work to force a smile or bite my tongue. I'm humbled that this simple kindness can still take all my will. Fortunately Mother Teresa reminds me, “God does not call us to do great things, but small things with great love.”
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Laugh Break 1
My friend, Chari, found this on the outside of a fudge display while visiting Virginia and shared it with me. Girlfriend jokes help wife-n-mom to lighten-up, and that's good family glue...
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man
has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is
a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet
of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: here, Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: here, Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: here, Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: here, Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: here, Have some more chocolate
Have a blessed Sunday!
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man
has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is
a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet
of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: here, Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: here, Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: here, Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: here, Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: here, Have some more chocolate
Have a blessed Sunday!
Friday, January 20, 2006
Speed Clean
Years before I heard rave reviews for FlyLady, I turned to The Clean Team to learn how to clean. For me it all started with the little book, Speed Cleaning. Now they have a wide variety of items available online, making it easy to learn how to clean efficiently and effectively.
A side benefit is that this system suggests that cleaning as a team of three is ideal. Each member of the team has one responsibility, either the kitchen, the bathrooms, or the dusting and floors. Currently, my oldest is trained in all three and is cleaning the bathrooms. She is also training her younger brother how to clean the bathrooms. That brother is currently cleaning the kitchen, can do the dusting and floors, and can't wait to get out of the kitchen and do the bathrooms. Youngest guy is with me, being trained to dust and clean the floors. If all goes well, I'll be strictly management soon.
We have been speed cleaning on Fridays for years. We think that cleaning fits with offering sacrifices on Fridays, abstaining from meat, and saying the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary. Bluegrass music helps us to clean more quickly. Using a timer helps us to stay on task. Planning a child-chosen family night gives us something to look forward to. On that note, I'm off to watch a movie with the family in our clean home. I'll enjoy this moment while it lasts.
A side benefit is that this system suggests that cleaning as a team of three is ideal. Each member of the team has one responsibility, either the kitchen, the bathrooms, or the dusting and floors. Currently, my oldest is trained in all three and is cleaning the bathrooms. She is also training her younger brother how to clean the bathrooms. That brother is currently cleaning the kitchen, can do the dusting and floors, and can't wait to get out of the kitchen and do the bathrooms. Youngest guy is with me, being trained to dust and clean the floors. If all goes well, I'll be strictly management soon.
We have been speed cleaning on Fridays for years. We think that cleaning fits with offering sacrifices on Fridays, abstaining from meat, and saying the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary. Bluegrass music helps us to clean more quickly. Using a timer helps us to stay on task. Planning a child-chosen family night gives us something to look forward to. On that note, I'm off to watch a movie with the family in our clean home. I'll enjoy this moment while it lasts.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Make 'Em Laugh
I was born serious. Fortunately for me, I was born into a funny family. My Dad can deliver an infinite number of jokes with aplomb. He has a keen insight into human nature and shrewd sense of wit about it. He was swiping at corporate America well before Dilbert. When he and his working buddies get together, there isn't anything funnier.
My Mom can't tell a joke to save her life which somehow makes every joke she attempts to tell even funnier. She has a room-filling laugh that comes from her very depths. She is easily embarrassed which makes for lots of laughter on the part of other family members. Don't let her near the horseradish, if it gets up her nose, she will react in a way that causes the rest of us to fall out of our seats!
My brother is arguably the funniest in the family. He was born with a gift of humor and has a charismatic personality that lets him get away with a lot. He is not above Elvis impersonations or creating and performing Chuck Berry dives into his pool. There isn't a bad joke that is too bad for him. His smart play on words leaves me spinning.
My sister has a dry wit that makes me belly laugh. While going through life difficulties, she can make fun of herself and her situation in a way that brings me to tears. Here "glass is half empty" humor can quickly cut to the truth that life is really wonder-full.
I see myself as the appreciator of humor in my first family. I love to laugh and really appreciate those who have a gift and talent for wit. It is similar to the fact that I don't play an instrument but I love to listen to music. What would all these funny people do without someone to laugh at their good humor?
My first family and I have gone through many a difficult struggle. By all rights, we shouldn't be united in love and friendship today. But we are. When I think about why this is true, I pinpoint several of the usual suspects such as prayer (thanks Mom,) desire to work things out individually and collectively, and patience over the long haul. Right up there and not to be overlooked is our ability to laugh together.
My Mom can't tell a joke to save her life which somehow makes every joke she attempts to tell even funnier. She has a room-filling laugh that comes from her very depths. She is easily embarrassed which makes for lots of laughter on the part of other family members. Don't let her near the horseradish, if it gets up her nose, she will react in a way that causes the rest of us to fall out of our seats!
My brother is arguably the funniest in the family. He was born with a gift of humor and has a charismatic personality that lets him get away with a lot. He is not above Elvis impersonations or creating and performing Chuck Berry dives into his pool. There isn't a bad joke that is too bad for him. His smart play on words leaves me spinning.
My sister has a dry wit that makes me belly laugh. While going through life difficulties, she can make fun of herself and her situation in a way that brings me to tears. Here "glass is half empty" humor can quickly cut to the truth that life is really wonder-full.
I see myself as the appreciator of humor in my first family. I love to laugh and really appreciate those who have a gift and talent for wit. It is similar to the fact that I don't play an instrument but I love to listen to music. What would all these funny people do without someone to laugh at their good humor?
My first family and I have gone through many a difficult struggle. By all rights, we shouldn't be united in love and friendship today. But we are. When I think about why this is true, I pinpoint several of the usual suspects such as prayer (thanks Mom,) desire to work things out individually and collectively, and patience over the long haul. Right up there and not to be overlooked is our ability to laugh together.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Breastfeed
As I breastfed my baby to sleep today, I became lost in my love for him. I stared at his face, his fat little cheek, his completely relaxed body, and his eyelashes. I remembered the three other sweet babies that I had nursed to sleep. I felt, for approximately the nine millionth time, grief for women who miss this mother-baby unity for any reason.
When I birthed and breastfed my first baby, I had a lot to learn about breastfeeding, mothering, and God. I suffered as I had never suffered before. Although blindly away from the Catholic faith, the Holy Spirit swooped in and poured amazing grace upon me. I was stripped of my preconceived ideas of myself and lead to the truth of my vocation as wife and mother.
While struggling in those early days, I found La Leche League. I received mother-to-mother support and met other mothers who also wanted to mother their babies through breastfeeding. After many years as a Leader, I recently retired from LLL. I am very grateful that the Founders, seven Catholic women, paved the way for other mothers like me to learn the womanly art of breastfeeding.
Here is Pope John Paul II's Address on Breastfeeding.
Among the many benefits of breastfeeding, I would like to include this. Breastfeeding is a beautiful conduit of God's love and grace.
When I birthed and breastfed my first baby, I had a lot to learn about breastfeeding, mothering, and God. I suffered as I had never suffered before. Although blindly away from the Catholic faith, the Holy Spirit swooped in and poured amazing grace upon me. I was stripped of my preconceived ideas of myself and lead to the truth of my vocation as wife and mother.
While struggling in those early days, I found La Leche League. I received mother-to-mother support and met other mothers who also wanted to mother their babies through breastfeeding. After many years as a Leader, I recently retired from LLL. I am very grateful that the Founders, seven Catholic women, paved the way for other mothers like me to learn the womanly art of breastfeeding.
Here is Pope John Paul II's Address on Breastfeeding.
Among the many benefits of breastfeeding, I would like to include this. Breastfeeding is a beautiful conduit of God's love and grace.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Visiting
I am so grateful that my parents are visiting, and not just because my mother will iron the embarrassingly few must-iron-clothes that our family owns. I'm grateful because I know how much time, energy, planning, health, and money are involved with visiting loved ones. They could be any place else, but they chose to be with me. This visit they arranged to arrive for my birthday! I tear up just thinking about our celebration together.
I'm an adult and I still treasure my parent's acts of love. I appreciate them going out of their way for me. How much more do our young children depend on and need our generous daily acts of love! How much more do they need to see that they are our priority? Mom and Dad visiting remind me that these are precious and fleeting days...of childhood...of this visit. I want, more than ever, to fill them with as much love and joy as possible for our three generations gathered.
I'm an adult and I still treasure my parent's acts of love. I appreciate them going out of their way for me. How much more do our young children depend on and need our generous daily acts of love! How much more do they need to see that they are our priority? Mom and Dad visiting remind me that these are precious and fleeting days...of childhood...of this visit. I want, more than ever, to fill them with as much love and joy as possible for our three generations gathered.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
She Irons
As I type, my mother is ironing my family's clothes. We are waiting for dinner to finish. I made borscht in the crockpot earlier today. My dad is watching my crawler. My daughter is making bread. My husband is cleaning in the kitchen while watching a football game. The boys are watching the game and matching socks.
This feels right...especially the me not ironing part. I really dislike ironing to the point that I don't wear clothes that need ironing. This isn't an anti-ironing statement. I just plain don't like ironing and have never had the desire or incentive to become skilled. My mother is a woman of extraordinary ironing skill. She has fond memories of ironing my father's Air Force uniforms when they were newly married. Now THAT takes patience and precision. She was nineteen.
Mom has always ironed for me. She ironed my Sunday clothes and special clothes for special occasions. She ironed my maid of honor dress for my sister's wedding, much to my sister's relief. Ironing is one of many ways that she shows me she loves me. Ironing is one of the many gifts she shares with her loved ones.
Sharing gifts within a family lightens burdens and increases feelings of connection and well being. Ironing as family glue...works for me.
This feels right...especially the me not ironing part. I really dislike ironing to the point that I don't wear clothes that need ironing. This isn't an anti-ironing statement. I just plain don't like ironing and have never had the desire or incentive to become skilled. My mother is a woman of extraordinary ironing skill. She has fond memories of ironing my father's Air Force uniforms when they were newly married. Now THAT takes patience and precision. She was nineteen.
Mom has always ironed for me. She ironed my Sunday clothes and special clothes for special occasions. She ironed my maid of honor dress for my sister's wedding, much to my sister's relief. Ironing is one of many ways that she shows me she loves me. Ironing is one of the many gifts she shares with her loved ones.
Sharing gifts within a family lightens burdens and increases feelings of connection and well being. Ironing as family glue...works for me.
Friday, January 13, 2006
Not for Guarantees
This week we’ve been reading along with the Church from 1 Samuel. I can’t help but think about Samuel’s sons and wondering why they rejected him and God. The Bible is full of stories of rejection of parents and family and God. This truth would bum a mother out if the stories stopped there.
Although it is disheartening as a mother to think that a child of mine might reject me and, or God, I strive for family unity today anyway. I’m not able to guarantee any particular outcome in family relationships. God has given us all free will, for better and worse. Yet, each moment that is unified, each day that is right before God, is infinitely valuable and worthwhile in and of itself.
Having said this, I confess, I hold hope in my heart. By building strong, healthy, and joyful family relationships, I pray that our family will be something my growing children see as good and right for them. I pray that they will live their adult vocations, with love for their first family as well as with accumulated virtues and skills to fulfill God’s will for them. I pray that we will all continue to say “Yes!” to God and be reunited in heaven to forever praise Him.
It could happen! A mother’s hope combined with trust in God can even work miracles. Just ask St. Monica...and my mom.
Although it is disheartening as a mother to think that a child of mine might reject me and, or God, I strive for family unity today anyway. I’m not able to guarantee any particular outcome in family relationships. God has given us all free will, for better and worse. Yet, each moment that is unified, each day that is right before God, is infinitely valuable and worthwhile in and of itself.
Having said this, I confess, I hold hope in my heart. By building strong, healthy, and joyful family relationships, I pray that our family will be something my growing children see as good and right for them. I pray that they will live their adult vocations, with love for their first family as well as with accumulated virtues and skills to fulfill God’s will for them. I pray that we will all continue to say “Yes!” to God and be reunited in heaven to forever praise Him.
It could happen! A mother’s hope combined with trust in God can even work miracles. Just ask St. Monica...and my mom.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Priorities
I want this blog to reflect how much I value family unity. I look at family unity from different angles. It is a gift. It is a family goal. It is a means to bigger goals.
It is also a by-product of our priorities. Our simple priority list looks like this:
1. Prayer
2. Personal Care
3. Relationships
4. Skills and Services
More details:
1. Love God through prayer and fully embracing the teachings of the Catholic Church. .
2. Take care of ourselves, eat well, exercise, rest, and enjoyment, so that we can better love God and others. This is no excuse for selfishness.
3. Love others through caring relationships, especially family relationships.
4. Serve others through fulfilling our vocations. Children master skills (home education) and services (chores.)
On the days that our home is messy (4th priority) and our home education has been less than thrilling (4th priority) I console myself that we have prayed (1st priority,) taken care of ourselves (2nd priority) and are still getting along (3rd priority)! Humbling and good enough.
It is also a by-product of our priorities. Our simple priority list looks like this:
1. Prayer
2. Personal Care
3. Relationships
4. Skills and Services
More details:
1. Love God through prayer and fully embracing the teachings of the Catholic Church. .
2. Take care of ourselves, eat well, exercise, rest, and enjoyment, so that we can better love God and others. This is no excuse for selfishness.
3. Love others through caring relationships, especially family relationships.
4. Serve others through fulfilling our vocations. Children master skills (home education) and services (chores.)
On the days that our home is messy (4th priority) and our home education has been less than thrilling (4th priority) I console myself that we have prayed (1st priority,) taken care of ourselves (2nd priority) and are still getting along (3rd priority)! Humbling and good enough.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Sacrament of Confirmation
Our two oldest children will receive the Sacrament of Confirmation tonight in the Diocese of Phoenix. We are so very grateful to participate in this Gift from on High!
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Happy BDay Long Distance
I'm blessed to be in close contact and friendship with my still married parents, my brother and his family, and my sister and her family. For many years we have lived states apart, making it a necessity to find ways to stick together long distance.
I don't recall how or when we began this sumple piece of glue, but it has stuck. We sing "Happy Birthday" to each other over the phone. We began as young adults and it gave us something to laugh about. If you heard us sing you would understand why! Then, my siblings and I started having children and the sweetest thing happened. Our children joined us in singing "Happy Birthday." Over the phone or as messages left on answering machines, sweet little voices belt out their favorite song with so much gusto...enough to make a grown man cry. Just ask my dad.
Today is my fabulous niece's birthday. My family gathered around the phone, as we have done eight other times for her, and sang "Happy Birthday." We clapped and cheered when we finished singing and told her we loved her.
We miss her, too.
I don't recall how or when we began this sumple piece of glue, but it has stuck. We sing "Happy Birthday" to each other over the phone. We began as young adults and it gave us something to laugh about. If you heard us sing you would understand why! Then, my siblings and I started having children and the sweetest thing happened. Our children joined us in singing "Happy Birthday." Over the phone or as messages left on answering machines, sweet little voices belt out their favorite song with so much gusto...enough to make a grown man cry. Just ask my dad.
Today is my fabulous niece's birthday. My family gathered around the phone, as we have done eight other times for her, and sang "Happy Birthday." We clapped and cheered when we finished singing and told her we loved her.
We miss her, too.
Monday, January 09, 2006
Morning Offering
Praying together as a family is awesome glue. More on this later. Praying separately FOR our family is important too. Since our family members wake at different times, we each say a Morning Offering and ask that God bless our family throughout the day.
As wife and mother, I like to pray this Consecration to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and Immaculate Heart of Mary for my entire family, including my extended family, as a Morning Offering. I first found this prayer in a sweet little book called The Catholic Mother's Resource Guide.
As wife and mother, I like to pray this Consecration to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and Immaculate Heart of Mary for my entire family, including my extended family, as a Morning Offering. I first found this prayer in a sweet little book called The Catholic Mother's Resource Guide.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Blessed Sunday
Have a... lots of God, lots of rest, lots of family, Sunday*. Simple, as it should be, glue.
*A gem of a description borrowed from Holly Pierlot's A Mother's Rule of Life.
*A gem of a description borrowed from Holly Pierlot's A Mother's Rule of Life.
Three Cheers!
When someone in our family does something extra for the rest of us, we break into song. Fortunately for those outside our family, we do this in the privacy of our own home or vehicle:). For example:
Three cheers for Daddy, for Daddy, for Daddy.
Three cheers for Daddy, the best of them all.
He's happy. He's jolly. He organized the garage by golly!
Three cheers for Daddy, the best of them all.
Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray!
In addition to giving a pat on the back to our family member, singing the song cracks us up! The power of silliness should not be underestimated.
Three cheers for Daddy, for Daddy, for Daddy.
Three cheers for Daddy, the best of them all.
He's happy. He's jolly. He organized the garage by golly!
Three cheers for Daddy, the best of them all.
Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray!
In addition to giving a pat on the back to our family member, singing the song cracks us up! The power of silliness should not be underestimated.
Friday, January 06, 2006
First Friday
A few months ago my husband was able to arrange a change in his work schedule that allowed him to attend morning Mass with me and the children on the first Friday of each month. We drive to a church 30 minutes away and go over our examination of conscience for children on the way. After Mass we receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation, then we go to the church gift shop and purchase a little something for the children and ourselves. Finally, we go to Rubio's for fish tacos and bean burritos, (eat your hearts out East Coasters!) All of this gels to make for a very special morning, one that we look forward to each month.
When I was growing up, we didn't eat meat on First Fridays or any Fridays, but I had no idea why. I thought it had something to do with pizza. Really. I grew up in NE Pennsylvania and we take our pizza seriously. A little town near my childhood home is the pizza capital of the world. Now you know. While attending parochial grammar school, first Friday meant...pizza. Yep, delivered to the school. This was truly the highlight of the month! After walking to church and going to Confession (phew!) we ate pizza.
Guess what? First Friday isn't necessarily related to pizza, it has to do with abstaining from meat. Guess what again? Catholics are STILL supposed to abstain from meat on Fridays. Read on..
The Code of Canon Law indicates that Catholics are supposed to abstain from meat on all Fridays during the year, not just during Lent:
Canon 1250 -- All Fridays through the year and the time of Lent are penitential days and times throughout the universal Church.
Canon 1251 -- Abstinence from eating meat or another food according to the prescriptions of the conference of bishops is to be observed on Fridays throughout the year unless they are solemnities; abstinence and fast are to be observed on Ash Wednesday and on the Friday of the Passion and Death of Our Lord Jesus Christ.
Canon 1253 -- It is for the conference of bishops to determine more precisely the observance of fast and abstinence and to substitute in whole or in part for fast and abstinence other forms of penance, especially works of charity and exercises of piety.
We will add one more level of richness and fullness to our First Friday outings this year. We are striving to complete a Nine First Fridays Devotion to the Sacred Heart .
My hope for our children is that they grow up thinking First Friday is something special, a highlight of the month. We'll make sure they don't think it is necessarily linked to fish tacos and bean burritos:).
When I was growing up, we didn't eat meat on First Fridays or any Fridays, but I had no idea why. I thought it had something to do with pizza. Really. I grew up in NE Pennsylvania and we take our pizza seriously. A little town near my childhood home is the pizza capital of the world. Now you know. While attending parochial grammar school, first Friday meant...pizza. Yep, delivered to the school. This was truly the highlight of the month! After walking to church and going to Confession (phew!) we ate pizza.
Guess what? First Friday isn't necessarily related to pizza, it has to do with abstaining from meat. Guess what again? Catholics are STILL supposed to abstain from meat on Fridays. Read on..
The Code of Canon Law indicates that Catholics are supposed to abstain from meat on all Fridays during the year, not just during Lent:
Canon 1250 -- All Fridays through the year and the time of Lent are penitential days and times throughout the universal Church.
Canon 1251 -- Abstinence from eating meat or another food according to the prescriptions of the conference of bishops is to be observed on Fridays throughout the year unless they are solemnities; abstinence and fast are to be observed on Ash Wednesday and on the Friday of the Passion and Death of Our Lord Jesus Christ.
Canon 1253 -- It is for the conference of bishops to determine more precisely the observance of fast and abstinence and to substitute in whole or in part for fast and abstinence other forms of penance, especially works of charity and exercises of piety.
We will add one more level of richness and fullness to our First Friday outings this year. We are striving to complete a Nine First Fridays Devotion to the Sacred Heart .
My hope for our children is that they grow up thinking First Friday is something special, a highlight of the month. We'll make sure they don't think it is necessarily linked to fish tacos and bean burritos:).
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Special Night
It has been over a month since anyone in our family has enjoyed a Special Night and we are starting to feel the lack of this special glue. Special Night is a simple idea that began for us several years ago and has passed the test of time as one of our best relationship builders. One child chooses what to do with one parent while the rest of the family takes care of the homefront.
To begin, discuss with your spouse any time, distance, and/or financial limits to Special Night. On a sheet of paper, write both parent's names on top to make two columns. Going down the left side of the page, write all children's names. This will produce a grid that provides a space for each partner combination to write down ideas for Special Night. Call your children together and plan to spend about 20 minutes max brainstorming Special Night ideas. Write your ideas down. Take your calendar and find the next open time and plug in a Special Night. Work through your grid list over time until finished. Repeat.
There have been times when we have limited Special Night to as little as two hours spent close to home while spending less than five dollars. When we first moved to Arizona, we upped everything to give ourselves the opportunity to indulge in our new area by going to restaurants, IMAX theatres, and Diamondback baseball games. We tend to identify a weekday evening that is consistently open, but this changes seasonally based on sports and holidays. We also include our nursing little one with Mom until little one is ready to happily separate.
The key to this is not to see it as one more thing to do on the To Do list. It doesn't need to be a source of broken promises. It doesn't have to happen every week. It doesn't have to be fancy. What makes it work is the anticipation of spending time with mom or dad then doing something special.
To begin, discuss with your spouse any time, distance, and/or financial limits to Special Night. On a sheet of paper, write both parent's names on top to make two columns. Going down the left side of the page, write all children's names. This will produce a grid that provides a space for each partner combination to write down ideas for Special Night. Call your children together and plan to spend about 20 minutes max brainstorming Special Night ideas. Write your ideas down. Take your calendar and find the next open time and plug in a Special Night. Work through your grid list over time until finished. Repeat.
There have been times when we have limited Special Night to as little as two hours spent close to home while spending less than five dollars. When we first moved to Arizona, we upped everything to give ourselves the opportunity to indulge in our new area by going to restaurants, IMAX theatres, and Diamondback baseball games. We tend to identify a weekday evening that is consistently open, but this changes seasonally based on sports and holidays. We also include our nursing little one with Mom until little one is ready to happily separate.
The key to this is not to see it as one more thing to do on the To Do list. It doesn't need to be a source of broken promises. It doesn't have to happen every week. It doesn't have to be fancy. What makes it work is the anticipation of spending time with mom or dad then doing something special.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Eat at the Family Table
Researchers have told us what people throughout time have known through experience and common sense. Eating meals together is family glue. One of my favorite writers on Catholic family matters and also my online friend, Elizabeth Foss, writes beautifully about the doable ideal and real of eating at the family table.
Wonder and joy happen when loved ones join together to eat. At my table, we might hear a poem written by our in-house poet, we will definitely talk about baseball at least once during the meal, and we will very likely to belly laugh, hopefully with napkin covered mouths. At a table long ago, Jesus instituted the Eucharist, and this is in part what happened...
And when the hour came, he sat at table, and the apostles with him. And he said to them, "I have earnestly desired to eat this passover with you before I suffer; for I tell you I shall not eat it again until it is fulfilled in the kingdom of God.". . . . And he took bread, and when he had given thanks he broke it and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me." And likewise the cup after supper, saying, "This cup which is poured out for you is the New Covenant in my blood."
Indescribable outpourings of love and the miraculous happen too.
Wonder and joy happen when loved ones join together to eat. At my table, we might hear a poem written by our in-house poet, we will definitely talk about baseball at least once during the meal, and we will very likely to belly laugh, hopefully with napkin covered mouths. At a table long ago, Jesus instituted the Eucharist, and this is in part what happened...
And when the hour came, he sat at table, and the apostles with him. And he said to them, "I have earnestly desired to eat this passover with you before I suffer; for I tell you I shall not eat it again until it is fulfilled in the kingdom of God.". . . . And he took bread, and when he had given thanks he broke it and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me." And likewise the cup after supper, saying, "This cup which is poured out for you is the New Covenant in my blood."
Indescribable outpourings of love and the miraculous happen too.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Make Amends
Learning the skill of making amends has been a gift to our family that keeps on giving. Making amends is a skill and habit that builds virtue and unites family members. Here's our formula:
1. Make amends as quickly as possible.
2. Show remorse.
3. Say, "I'm sorry I (describe mistake.)"
4. Describe how you will make things right.
5. Ask for forgiveness.
Tips:
*Don't say, "I'm sorry IF I blah blah blah." This defeats the purpose of owning our mistakes.
*Don't skip the description of the mistake. This keeps the amends specific.
*Try to avoid simple saying, "I won't do it again." Pay for the broken vase. Clean the mud off the floor. Give mom a neck rub:).
* Don't demand forgiveness! Give people the time they need to soften and forgive.
We began this habit formation over twelve years ago with the motivation that we wanted to teach our then two year old how to go beyond a flippant "Sorry!" Little did my husband and I know that WE were the ones who would most benefit. It is so very helpful when a whole family agrees ahead of crisis on what constitutes a true amends.
Ironically, at the time that we were developing the amends formula and reaping wonderful rewards from implementing it, I also believed that the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession, Penance) was unnecessary. Spiritually speaking, I thoughtlessly held the position that being sorry for my sins was something between me and God. Now I see the lack of fullness with this approach and the temptation toward a flippant "Sorry" to God.
This link on the Sacrament of Reconciliation, Sacrament of Reconciliation , is worth a complete read. If you are short on time, scroll to the bottom for the "In Brief" summary. From the link:
1485 "On the evening of that day, the first day of the week," Jesus showed himself to his apostles. "He breathed on them, and said to them: 'Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained"' (Jn 20:19, 22-23).
1496 The spiritual effects of the sacrament of Penance are: - reconciliation with God by which the penitent recovers grace; - reconciliation with the Church; - remission of the eternal punishment incurred by mortal sins; - remission, at least in part, of temporal punishments resulting from sin; - peace and serenity of conscience, and spiritual consolation; - an increase of spiritual strength for the Christian battle.
Make amends within your family. Make amends within your holy family, the Church. The effects are bonding.
1. Make amends as quickly as possible.
2. Show remorse.
3. Say, "I'm sorry I (describe mistake.)"
4. Describe how you will make things right.
5. Ask for forgiveness.
Tips:
*Don't say, "I'm sorry IF I blah blah blah." This defeats the purpose of owning our mistakes.
*Don't skip the description of the mistake. This keeps the amends specific.
*Try to avoid simple saying, "I won't do it again." Pay for the broken vase. Clean the mud off the floor. Give mom a neck rub:).
* Don't demand forgiveness! Give people the time they need to soften and forgive.
We began this habit formation over twelve years ago with the motivation that we wanted to teach our then two year old how to go beyond a flippant "Sorry!" Little did my husband and I know that WE were the ones who would most benefit. It is so very helpful when a whole family agrees ahead of crisis on what constitutes a true amends.
Ironically, at the time that we were developing the amends formula and reaping wonderful rewards from implementing it, I also believed that the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession, Penance) was unnecessary. Spiritually speaking, I thoughtlessly held the position that being sorry for my sins was something between me and God. Now I see the lack of fullness with this approach and the temptation toward a flippant "Sorry" to God.
This link on the Sacrament of Reconciliation, Sacrament of Reconciliation , is worth a complete read. If you are short on time, scroll to the bottom for the "In Brief" summary. From the link:
1485 "On the evening of that day, the first day of the week," Jesus showed himself to his apostles. "He breathed on them, and said to them: 'Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained"' (Jn 20:19, 22-23).
1496 The spiritual effects of the sacrament of Penance are: - reconciliation with God by which the penitent recovers grace; - reconciliation with the Church; - remission of the eternal punishment incurred by mortal sins; - remission, at least in part, of temporal punishments resulting from sin; - peace and serenity of conscience, and spiritual consolation; - an increase of spiritual strength for the Christian battle.
Make amends within your family. Make amends within your holy family, the Church. The effects are bonding.
Monday, January 02, 2006
Pray First
Prayer, a multi-faceted mystery, is also extraordinary family glue. Daily pray an Our Father for family unity. More on prayer later...much more.
I'm becoming a blogger at the instigation of my computer-savvy daughter. She knows me well. She wants to start a blog and needs to get my A.O.K. She knows that I'm cautious, very cautious and will need to feel informed before I say, "Yes." The best way to inform me is by letting me experience blogging for myself. Smart girl.
The idea of blogging on the topic of family unity came at a moment of desperation. Family life is difficult and I often feel like a juggler, spinning plates on the end of long, thin sticks. Well, my plates have been dropping here, there, and everywhere lately...more so than ususal. Throwing my arms up in frustation during a family meeting I asked, "What DOES this family do well?" A wise soul said, "We stick together." Sometimes, often times, a child sees God's grace most clearly.
I'm becoming a blogger at the instigation of my computer-savvy daughter. She knows me well. She wants to start a blog and needs to get my A.O.K. She knows that I'm cautious, very cautious and will need to feel informed before I say, "Yes." The best way to inform me is by letting me experience blogging for myself. Smart girl.
The idea of blogging on the topic of family unity came at a moment of desperation. Family life is difficult and I often feel like a juggler, spinning plates on the end of long, thin sticks. Well, my plates have been dropping here, there, and everywhere lately...more so than ususal. Throwing my arms up in frustation during a family meeting I asked, "What DOES this family do well?" A wise soul said, "We stick together." Sometimes, often times, a child sees God's grace most clearly.
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