The Napping House

Years ago when my first baby was our only baby, my sister would come from the big city to visit us in our small town, thirty minutes away. She would come to spend time with us. And she would come to nap.

During that time, a friend sent a book gift, The Napping House, by Audrey and Don Wood. My sister quickly dubbed our house, The Napping House.

As I write this post, my husband is napping with our baby. My parents are napping in the guest room, preparing for their return to Pennsylvania after their wintering stay here in Arizona. Within the past few weeks, a teen friend napped on our couch, my mom napped as a break during her sewing project with my daughter, and a new friend dozed on the floor while visiting us with his family. Either our home is comfortable or we're incredibly dull company!

Isn't this a funny family specialty? It isn't one I would have thoughtfully chosen, yet God brings us nappers. Being identified as The Napping House is a small example of a unique family identity. I imagine the endless unique family identities God has provided for families to act as family glue, some so quirky they might be overlooked.

On that note, I'm off to nap. Have a blessed Sunday!

Article Find: Rejecting Modern Materialism: The Rise of the Crunchy-Conservatives

Rejecting Modern Materialism: The Rise of the Crunchy-Conservatives gives a taste of the book Crunchy Cons. This book first came onto my radar a few months ago. After reading this article, I'm ready to read this family-centered book. It looks to be an interesting follow-up to It Takes a Family.

Article Find: Penance Begins at Home

Penance Begins at Home by Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle is a gentle reminder that the Church,

insists first of all that the virtue of penitence be exercised in persevering faithfulness to the duties of one’s state in life, in the acceptance of the difficulties arising from one’s work and from human coexistence, in a patient bearing of the trials of earthly life and of the utter insecurity which pervades it.

The Author goes on to describe concrete ways in which parents, especially mothers, can find ways to be more connected to their children during Lent.

Thank you, Donna Marie, for the reminder and permission to stop and truly be present for our children.

Importance of Sleep, Again

As I have already fessed up to needing a lot of sleep, I was pleased to see yet another article on the importance of sleep, this one focused onteens. The article reports that most teens are sleep-deprived and functioning on two hours less sleep per evening than is needed.

What is so important for teens that it trumps sleep for two hours each night? When I asked my teen this question she responded, "When teens go to school, they start school too early then they have a ton of homework. Plus, if they want to have any friends, have a job, or help their family, they have to do that at night too. I bet a lot of them feel pressured to study a lot to get into a good college and do other things to get into college. They are only free to do all that in the evening and on weekends."

Underlying this is a cultural lack of valuing sleep. The bumper sticker, "I'll sleep when I'm dead," comes to mind. Sleep is supposedly something for slackers and suckers. I'm not buying it! As parents we must provide for and protect our children's sleep. We can begin by setting an example of valuing sleep ourselves.

Sick Babe in Arms

Yesterday, our ten month old was ill. He had a moderately high fever and wanted only to be in mama's arms. As I held him, knowing how precious these moments were, I thanked God to be able to be home with him. I stared at his sweet face and assured him that he was doing well. I rocked and sang and watched and prayed.

Too many mothers are being robbed of the experience of caring for their sick children. Other mothers are thoughtlessly throwing the opportunity away. Some of the deepest, and longest lasting connects are made during these precious times. Baby grows in trust. Mother grows in tenderness. And oh the joy when baby is well again.

Sing for Each Other

While at Mass yesterday, I sat between my mother and teen daughter. The three of us shared care of baby. During the Offertory, we sang Amazing Grace. I smiled as the three of us belted out this hymn that reminds us of my deceased grandmother Me-Me, my mother's mother. We sang one, two, three, four verses. Unusually, due to a second collection, we moved to the fifth verse...

When we've been there ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we'd first begun.

Within the first line, my mother and I became silent. I was choked with tears. I stared straight ahead at the altar, fighting to keep my composure. I felt so close to the promise of eternal life, to the communion of saints, and to my mother and Me-Me that I was overwhelmed. My mother was comforting me with her mutual silence. We didn't dare look at each other.

Then I heard my daughter's voice singing clearly, confidently, and beautifully. She pulled me back to the pew, to my amazing here and now. She was singing our song when my mom and I couldn't. Amazing Grace how sweet the sound.

Clipboards and Binders...

...and PDAs, Oh My!

To wrap up my little thoughts on family organization, I have two more words for you...clipboards and binders.

Clipboards hold all papers that are transient in nature, are used by more than one person, or are used daily. We have a family clipboard that holds our checklist of our daily chores. We have a formal work clipboard that holds our checklist of what we want to do with our home education. I have my mom clipboard to catch stray papers.

Binders hold information that isn't used everyday. Each family member has their own binder, divided into categories based on our priorities.

If it isn't in my PDA, it is on a clipboard or in a binder. At least, I hope 80% of what is important is!

As soon as I find a mom watch, I'll let you know.

Have a blessed Sunday!

Handheld PDA

If you haven't taken the PDA plunge yet, now may be the time. Palm has recently released their latest, the Palm Z22, just in time for the demise of my first Palm, a Zire. At $100.00, the price is right. All the basics are covered; calendar, memo, notepad, address book, etc. Yet, it doesn't have all the bells and whistles that a mom may not want or need. For a few more dollars, I purchased the air case which is now being offered for free with the Z22 purchase. Nice:).

Why use a PDA instead of paper? The main reason for me is to have a backup of my important information on my computer via Palm Desktop Software, and vice versa, my Palm is a backup of some of my important computer information. I also love the portability.

Before taking the plunge, you may benefit from looking at other PDAs. You may also want to look at upgrading from the start. Palm has a nifty Select a Model Wizard and I bet other makers have similar helps.

Two years ago when I purchased my first Palm, I paid $150.00 for a refurbished model plus $50.00 for a warranty. Now, for what comes down to ~$10.00 a month for one year, I have a fine tool to help me with my job as Family Manager and my vocation as wife and mother. Great deal.

Family Organization: 80% Rule

Although I know the basic steps of organization, have read many books on the topic, and have been working on family organization for many years, I am an amateur. My best guess is that I will never feel completely organized. Being organized "good enough" is our family's modest and doable goal.

I like modest and doable goals because they keep me in good spirits. Good spirits on the part of a wife and mother are much more valuable to my husband and children than perfect organization. This isn't a cop out and I'm no slacker! If I become too fussy about the scattered baseball equipment or the forgotten errand my husband was to run, it ruins family relationships. My husband encourages our family to follow the 80% rule. Translated: If we stick to our priorities, To Do list, calendar, schedule, etc. MOST of the time, 80% of the time, we are doing well. If we strive for my version of 100%, we are always failing which is not good for family morale and unity.

Besides, the best organization allows for flexibility. Our family wants to loosen our grasp and let God and His will in. We want to absorb..Grandma coming by to help sew a dress...a friend calling to process her fear about her child's illness...the plumber coming to put in a new hot water heater and he's late!...Grandpa taking the boys fishing because the weather is beautiful and the fish are biting...daily phone calls from dad whenever he can make them...

Which gets me to my final book on family organization which is very popular in Catholic circles right now, A Mother's Rule of Life. From an organizational point of view, the book is solid, clear, and full of specific suggestions to help organize a family. It is a hard earned and honest sharing of what has worked for the author. I gleaned several good ideas from it. Yet, I would caution that if taken wholeheartedly, it is unnecessarily rigorous and misleading. It is definitely all about being 100%. I can see where it could be misunderstood that all mothers are called to a rigorous Rule and that those who don't follow it are failing themselves, their family, and God. A Rule is an arbitrary human construct and our Church, in her wisdom and mercy, has not dictated a Rule for wives and mothers. Be not afraid! Go forth and organize...80%...more than good enough.

Family Organization: Attack

Now that you have analyzed and strategized, the fun begins. Take your prioritized To Do list and take the top priorities of each category and put them on your calendar. Be realistic and try not to underestimate how long a task will take to complete. Develop the habit of looking at your calendar at the beginning of your week and then again daily.

These three steps, Analyze Strategize and Attack (ASA) are the bare bone steps of organizing. Every organizing book repeats them under different names, adding their particular expertise, tips, and emphasis.

Here are a few resources to consider in addition to Organizing from the Inside Out. Time Management for Catholics discusses Catholic priorities beautifully. Years ago I read a Kathy Peel book and grasped the idea of being a Family Manager and continue to use her binder organizing idea. I can't speak personally for FlyLady but have enough mom friends praising this resource that I'm half tempted to check things out myself!

Next, I'll share the reality of family organization, which isn't picture perfect but suffices to provide enough glue to hold us together.

Family Organization: Strategize

After you have Analyzed your family situation and all family members have shared their input, it is time for step 2, Strategize.

Take your To Do list and divide it into two categories. The first is "Essential" and the second is "Unessential." Be truthful and brutal! Now, take the Essential List items and place them into categories based on your family priorities. You may also want to sub-divide into other helpful categories such as Finance, Household, etc. Be careful not to have to many categories. Within each category, put items in order of importance, numbering them. If you are very brave, throw away the Unessential List. If not, put the Unessential List away until you have made some headway on the Essential List.

The product of this step is a list of your To Do priorities. Next, we'll attack!

Family Organization: Analyze

Disorganization undermines family unity. Disorganization leads to misunderstandings about how our surroundings should be kept (organizing space) and how we should spend our time (organizing time.) This leads to bickering, hard feelings, frustration, and time wasted. Finding simple ways to help all family members work toward a mutual understanding of organization is helpful.

There are three main steps to any organizing project. Here is a handy dandy acronym for the three steps that I picked up from Organizing from the Inside Out, A.S.A., which stands for:

1. Analyze
2. Strategize
3. Attack

To Analyze means to stop before you act. Figure out what your family needs. Hold a family meeting. Brainstorm. Take time, a few days at least, to collect all things that the family wants to do. The final product of this step is to have a comprehensive To-Do list.

That's it for now. Next, we'll strategize.

Speaking of American Politics

I continue to read It Takes a Family and am enjoying Rick Santorum's strong Orthodox Catholic voice. I appreciate his clarity about the family, not the individual, being the smallest unit of society. Against the Grain by Mark Shea is a much shorter read that also places the family at the center of political decision-making.

Food for Catholic, family-centered, political thought.

Have a blessed Sunday!

Laugh Break 5 Irish Humor

I grew up in NE Pennsylvania and my hometown's St. Patty's Day parade was the biggest event of the year. Really. Corned beef and cabbage, soda bread, and more. Picture green...lots of green...especially lots of green beer. I remember the jokes, many of which would not be considered politically correct. Yet, I remember the from-the-bottom-of-your-toes laughing. Big belly laughing. So here's a joke, in the spirit of Parade Day laughing...

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"Why of course," comes the reply.

The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.

The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of Course," replies the second man.

Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man.
"I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks:
"What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man.
"I graduated in '62."

"This is unbelievable!" the first man says.
"I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

After writing this entry draft last night, I was pleased to wake up to this article, The Value of Irish Humor. In it, Tom Purcell writes, "James Thurber, one of my favorite humorists, says the wheels of humor are set in motion by the damp hand of melancholy. Aristotle wrote that comedy and tragedy are close cousins. The Irish have long known that humor and laughter are our chief weapons for combating sadness and pain."

May some Irish humor find its way to you today as we hold close to our hearts Lent and the sadness and pain of Christ's suffering for us. Happy St. Patrick's Day.

It Takes a Family

I'm currently reading It Takes a Family by Rick Santorum. I'm just getting started and wanted to share this.

But again, where do we first learn to trust? From government regulators? No. Trust is first created within and then nurtured by healthy families. The seedbed of the social trust that forms healthy societies is the confidence and trust a child has in her parents. A child's experience of trustworthy parents in her formative years not only influences her ability to establish trusting relationships in adulthood, it will also act as a basic glue within her own eventual family. This is one of the reasons for concern about the widespread breakdown of the family in America: for too many children, family disharmony and divorce shatters their self-confidence. When the primary social bonds between parent and child are broken, trust forever after is almost always hard-won.

Trustworthy parents are basic glue. I like that.

Lullaby and Good Night

I first began singing lullabies to my first child when I became pregnant with my second. I was looking for gentle and loving ways to help her drift off to sleep when I was unable to nurse her for extended periods of time. Unfortunately, I knew only a few song segments. Off to the library I went to find lyrics and melodies. I learned Hush Little Baby, Golden Slumber, Lullaby and Good Night, Lavender's Blue, Little Boy Blue, Toora Loora Toora, and more. I dinked out the melody on a kid's keyboard and to this day am not sure if I am singing all of the tunes correctly. No matter!

There was a brief time when I wasn't singing lullubies to a little child. Then our latest baby arrived on the scene and the lullubies returned. I was surprised to find that our older children still found them dear. I was surprised to find that I had missed them.

Arizona Sling Mama

I purchased my first sling when my teen was a few months old. I had tried many baby carriers, never noticing slings until I finally found some kindred spirits at a La Leche League meeting. Much of my mothering is connected to using a sling. I just wouldn't know what to do without it.

Having a baby in Arizona presented new challenges to slinging, mainly heat and sun. My sister recommended a solarveil sling made by a mom in North Carolina. I purchased one and couldn't be happier. Now my industrious (and forgiving) sister sells a similar product at Jennifer's Natural Family Boutique. Just lift the extra material over baby's head for great sun protection.

Here is an article that gives Ten Reasons to Wear Your Baby as well as many links on the topic. Happy slinging!

Snow on the Superstition Mountains

Yesterday morning our family awoke to a memory in the making. After some leisurely family time, my husband and the boys went to the park to play baseball. A few minutes out the door my phone rang. It was my husband telling me to go outside and look at the mountains. It is not unusual for us to look at the gorgeous Arizona Superstition mountains so I didn't think twice and headed out the backyard for a look, expecting beautiful color and shadow. To my delight, the mountains were topped with snow! Our neighbors tell us this blessing happens about once a decade, remembering back to 1991 when snow last covered the Superstitions.

While at church, the glory of God was extra evident as we looked out the enormous clear glass window, purposely placed to showcase the Superstitions. The cumulus clouds floated as if out of a dream, lifting our eyes toward heaven.

My parents treated us to lunch after Mass and everywhere we turned, the conversation was snow. When we drove to the park to play with the children, the usually empty roads were flooded with cars and photographers. I never would have guessed that so many people owned tripods for their cameras!

God willing, we'll have another chance to see this extraordinary snow show in ten years. If so, I bet we'll remember this day. We'll remember that the baby was in a sling, the boys were starting Little League, and our teen was planning her first solo flight back east to visit family. We'll remember lunch with Grandma and Daddypa. We'll remember this restful Sunday, when God's creative beauty touched us in a most breath-taking way.

Family Management Saturday

Last year we dropped something that had worked well for our family in the past, and we paid for it. Family Management Saturday is simply setting aside one Saturday a month for me, the family manager, to do monthly tasks such as online banking, purchasing, etc. While I'm stuck at the computer offering up my inclination toward distaste for much of this work, my family is holding down the fort and doing their own monthly household chores. Today I worked on our taxes. Say no more.

Making Family Management Saturday a priority was our family New Year's Eve resolution. Well, technically I asked for it and the other family members agreed. Expecting joy about this is asking a wee bit too much. Three months into the year, I feel a burden lifting off of my shoulders. I am trusting that I will get my one Saturday a month, no matter what.

When mom is happy and feeling that her workload is doable, the whole family is happy. That's good family glue.

Have a blessed Sunday!

Little Vacation to the Shore

Our family is off to the coast for a mini-vacation. Our goal is to enjoy the beach in a leisurely manner. It may be cool and rainy. We couldn't be more pleased! We have our One Small Square Seashore book, some simple food, and clothes for layering packed. We're even bringing my parents along for some added fun. These breaks from our routine fill us up with rest and love and special common experiences and often a shared fiasco story or two. There is something about vacations that lend themselves to making lifelong memories...real good family glue.

Have a blessed Sunday! See you next week.