Friday, October 02, 2009
Clouds Unit Study Mini
Clouds at Enchanted Learning
It Looked Like Spilt Milk
Peterson First Guide to Clouds and Weather
Little Cloud by Eric Carle
The Cloud Book by Tomie de Paola
Memorize types of clouds:
alto-cumulus - Middle-level, medium-sized puffy clouds.
alto-stratus - Middle-level, layered clouds.
cirro-cumulus - High-altitude, small, wispy, patchy, puffy clouds.
cirro-stratus - High-altitude, thin, wispy clouds in layers.
cirrus - High-altitude, thin, wispy clouds.
cumulo-nimbus- Large, dense, towering clouds that cause thunderstorms.
cumulus - Low, puffy clouds.
fog - Ground-hugging clouds.
nimbo-stratus - Low, dark, rain cloud.
stratus - Low, layered, horizontal, wispy clouds with a flat base.
strato-cumulus - Low clouds, broad and flat on the bottom, puffy on top (higher than cumulus and lower than altocumulus).
Monday, March 16, 2009
Corned Beef
Here is our favorite corned beef recipe:
2 point cut corned beef roasts to equal approx. 6 lbs. and their seasoning packets
2 bottles of beer, dark is best, or water to cover roasts
2 bay leaves
many cloves of garlic
1/4 cup peppercorns
Use point cut roasts because they are less expensive ($1.27 # this year) than flat cut and they are more marbled which keeps the meat moist. Place roasts, their juices, seasoning packets, liquid, bay, cloves and peppercorns in slow cooker. Cook on low for 10 or more hours (preferred) or on high for 6 hours or more. Remove roasts from slow cooker and let rest for 10-15 minutes. Remove fat and carve meat against the grain in thin slices. I estimate 1 roast per family of 6 light eaters if served with all the fixins or to make as sandwiches.
Adapted from this recipe.
Potatoes for a crowd (24 eaters):
Place 5 pounds of red potatoes, cleaned and poked with a fork, into a slow cooker on high for 4 hours. No need to oil potatoes or add liquid to cooker. Serve with butter, salt, and pepper.
Veggies for a crowd:
Place steamer basket into the bottom of a 12 quart pot. Add water until you can just see it coming through the basket. Add ~2.5 #s baby carrots, 6 quarted onions (can spear each quater together with a toothpick), and 2-3 heads of cabbages cut into 6 wedges (core removed) to fill pot. Place lid on pot and steam until cabbage wilts, approx. 30 mintues. Serve with butter, salt, and pepper.
Irish Soda Bread for a crowd:
Irresistible Irish Soda Bread: Make one recipe as is (we bake it in a shamrock shaped cake pan) and make another and add raisins (~1 cup) and caraway seeds (~2 teaspoons.) For a more savory bread, Irish Brown Soda Bread. Serve with butter.
Corned Beef Sandwiches:
2 slices rye bread
yummy mustard (My friend Marie shared Trader Joe's Aioli Garlic Mustard Sauce - YUM!)
Thousand Island Dressing
corned beef
swiss cheese
cole slaw
Stack!
Beverages
Irish beer (Guinness, Harp, Killians)
Lemonade tinted with green food coloring
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Love,
Angie
2 point cut corned beef roasts to equal approx. 6 lbs. and their seasoning packets
2 bottles of beer, dark is best, or water to cover roasts
2 bay leaves
many cloves of garlic
1/4 cup peppercorns
Use point cut roasts because they are less expensive ($1.27 # this year) than flat cut and they are more marbled which keeps the meat moist. Place roasts, their juices, seasoning packets, liquid, bay, cloves and peppercorns in slow cooker. Cook on low for 10 or more hours (preferred) or on high for 6 hours or more. Remove roasts from slow cooker and let rest for 10-15 minutes. Remove fat and carve meat against the grain in thin slices. I estimate 1 roast per family of 6 light eaters if served with all the fixins or to make as sandwiches.
Adapted from this recipe.
Potatoes for a crowd (24 eaters):
Place 5 pounds of red potatoes, cleaned and poked with a fork, into a slow cooker on high for 4 hours. No need to oil potatoes or add liquid to cooker. Serve with butter, salt, and pepper.
Veggies for a crowd:
Place steamer basket into the bottom of a 12 quart pot. Add water until you can just see it coming through the basket. Add ~2.5 #s baby carrots, 6 quarted onions (can spear each quater together with a toothpick), and 2-3 heads of cabbages cut into 6 wedges (core removed) to fill pot. Place lid on pot and steam until cabbage wilts, approx. 30 mintues. Serve with butter, salt, and pepper.
Irish Soda Bread for a crowd:
Irresistible Irish Soda Bread: Make one recipe as is (we bake it in a shamrock shaped cake pan) and make another and add raisins (~1 cup) and caraway seeds (~2 teaspoons.) For a more savory bread, Irish Brown Soda Bread. Serve with butter.
Corned Beef Sandwiches:
2 slices rye bread
yummy mustard (My friend Marie shared Trader Joe's Aioli Garlic Mustard Sauce - YUM!)
Thousand Island Dressing
corned beef
swiss cheese
cole slaw
Stack!
Beverages
Irish beer (Guinness, Harp, Killians)
Lemonade tinted with green food coloring
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Love,
Angie
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Be Blessed! A Family Study
A few months ago, with complete sincerity I asked my husband, "Will I ever be happy again?" Below is a retrospective look at how my family and I came to answer this question with a sweet and humble, "Yes." Learning together about Christian happiness, mood, and responsibility is one of the most fruitful relationship enhancing activities that we have experienced. Changing our habits of thought and behavior is hard work yet we are encouraged by our overall increase in positive mood, which is so very contagious...for better or worse. The events that piled up for over a year prior to my desperate question are private, yet typical of my peers. I offer this sharing to you with gratitude for praying me through a difficult time and with a prayer that you too will be blessed.
Background Helps
Pray and Fulfill the Duties of My Vocation. ..even when it is hard or messy or less than what I can do when my life is more stable. Pray differently. Find a new prayer to memorize. Start a new novena. Meet a new saint. Get on my knees. Lay down and fall asleep with a rosary in my hands. Yell out from love and weakness. Go to Church. Go to Mass. Go to Adoration.
Take Care. Eat well, sleep enough, and move my body. Face health concerns actively such as fatigue, poor circulation, poor posture, sore muscles and others by taking vitamins, increasing water intake, T-Tapp, other posture helps, increasing vegetables/greens, and being open to other ideas.
Basic Organization. Have a weekly family meeting. Discuss Christian happiness and related topics. Post notes on "faith board" (a corkboard used to display items related to the liturgical calendar, character formation, etc.), refrigerator, or the like. Keep meeting short. Serve a treat.
Read and Learn. Optional topics include but aren't limited to prayer, suffering, grief, mourning, depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder, cognitive distortions, the Beatitudes, the Book of Job, habit formation, temperaments, the five love languages, etc.
Be Patient. Follow the natural pace, inclination, and discernment of family. Take as many weeks, months, as is helpful to gain peace and insight.
For ages 8+. Modify as needed.
Christian Happiness
This past August I had the privilege of attending a presentation by Peter Kreeft. As a long time fan, Dr. Kreeft's Christ's Concept of Happiness vs The World's did not disappoint and struck an immediate chord. He distinguishes between our culture's definition of happines and challenges us to see ourselves as blessed, as described by the Beatitudes.
Optional Activities
*Listen to Dr. Kreeft's audio.
*Write each beatitude on a sheet of paper large enough to be displayed on faith board. Post one per week for discussion and ongoing reference.
*Ask each family member to rate how happy they are on a scale of 1-10 (their happy number) and note replies on index card with name and date, then post on board (There are no right or wrong answers. Trust each person to answer to the best of their ability. Avoid the inclination to change another's mind/answer or to answer in a way expected by others.) Continue to keep track of happy numbers each week. Look for patterns.
Mood
This past June I was chatting with the awesome ladies online at 4Real, my favorite gathering place for homeschooling moms, about erasing the negative tapes in our heads. Holly recommended the book, Feeling Good and she made a good argument for reading it. I asked my husband, a psychologist, if he knew of it and he recalled it positively but vaguely from many years ago. I read it and found it to be sound, organized, and not trying to be more than it is. I found the book easy to gel with my faith.
Optional Activities
*Read Feeling Good, (you can preview it here) or other information about cognitive distortions and dysfunctional attitudes.
*Write on one sheet of paper, "Action", on another, "Thought", on another, "Feeling", on a final, "Behavior" without others seeing. Have one family member hold up "Action" and another, "Behavior." Ask, "What comes between someone's action and another person's reaction or behavior?" My children were stumped so I showed them the "Thought" and "Feeling" sheets and asked if these two came between the two. Upon discussion we agreed they did and then I asked if they came in a particular order. We discussed recent examples of difficulties we've had with each other. We agreed that thoughts came before feelings. We hung the papers, in order, on our counter bar that divides our kitchen and living space.
*List "thinking distortions" on a sheet of paper, next to ATFB papers above. Discuss each as related to family tensions. Discuss in a matter-of-fact manner, avoiding rehashing or blaming, coming from curiosity and courtesy.
*List, post, and discuss "attitude distortions." They are: Approval, Love, Achievement, Perfectionism, Entitlement, Omnipotence, Autonomy
*Use new vocabulary to identify, describe, and solve problems.
*Discuss connections to Beatitudes and Mood.
Responsibility
Each of us is ultimately responsible for our own thoughts, feelings, and actions. We are committed to maintaining our happy number at a minimum of 8. We use the information that we have posted on our faith board and counter bar when our mood is negative until we feel relief. We are also a loving family and each of us impacts other family members. We treat each other with respect, sensitivity, and courtesy. We try to solve problems between each other quickly. We make and accept amends. We strive to stay in a blessed state individually and as a family.
Optional Activities
*Post and discuss Peter Kreeft's diagram found on page 111 in Making Sense Out of Suffering (Below is my attempt to recreate it. In this cycle, Pride points to Disaster and Repentance points to Blessed. Plus there are counter arrows that point to opposites - Blessed is opposite of Disaster, Luxury is opposite of Suffering, and Pride is opposite of Repentance.):
Blessed -> Luxury -> Pride
Repentance <- Suffering <- Disaster *Discuss how Disaster can be self-inflicted or not. Distinguish between mistakes, misunderstandings, misfortune and inconveniences. *Discuss grief and how there are times when all we can do in the face of loss is cry and wait. *Show love through the 5 love languages.
*Keep track of tendencies. Initial specific distortions. Look for individual and family patterns.
*Battle tendencies, especially Entitlement and Perfectionism.
*Practice doing over mistakes properly.
*Have fun.
*Show gratitude.
*Give alms.
*Fast.
*Smile - It Confuses People (saw that on a bumper sticker!)
He said, "Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked I shall depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD." Job 1:21
Background Helps
Pray and Fulfill the Duties of My Vocation. ..even when it is hard or messy or less than what I can do when my life is more stable. Pray differently. Find a new prayer to memorize. Start a new novena. Meet a new saint. Get on my knees. Lay down and fall asleep with a rosary in my hands. Yell out from love and weakness. Go to Church. Go to Mass. Go to Adoration.
Take Care. Eat well, sleep enough, and move my body. Face health concerns actively such as fatigue, poor circulation, poor posture, sore muscles and others by taking vitamins, increasing water intake, T-Tapp, other posture helps, increasing vegetables/greens, and being open to other ideas.
Basic Organization. Have a weekly family meeting. Discuss Christian happiness and related topics. Post notes on "faith board" (a corkboard used to display items related to the liturgical calendar, character formation, etc.), refrigerator, or the like. Keep meeting short. Serve a treat.
Read and Learn. Optional topics include but aren't limited to prayer, suffering, grief, mourning, depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder, cognitive distortions, the Beatitudes, the Book of Job, habit formation, temperaments, the five love languages, etc.
Be Patient. Follow the natural pace, inclination, and discernment of family. Take as many weeks, months, as is helpful to gain peace and insight.
For ages 8+. Modify as needed.
Christian Happiness
This past August I had the privilege of attending a presentation by Peter Kreeft. As a long time fan, Dr. Kreeft's Christ's Concept of Happiness vs The World's did not disappoint and struck an immediate chord. He distinguishes between our culture's definition of happines and challenges us to see ourselves as blessed, as described by the Beatitudes.
Optional Activities
*Listen to Dr. Kreeft's audio.
*Write each beatitude on a sheet of paper large enough to be displayed on faith board. Post one per week for discussion and ongoing reference.
*Ask each family member to rate how happy they are on a scale of 1-10 (their happy number) and note replies on index card with name and date, then post on board (There are no right or wrong answers. Trust each person to answer to the best of their ability. Avoid the inclination to change another's mind/answer or to answer in a way expected by others.) Continue to keep track of happy numbers each week. Look for patterns.
Mood
This past June I was chatting with the awesome ladies online at 4Real, my favorite gathering place for homeschooling moms, about erasing the negative tapes in our heads. Holly recommended the book, Feeling Good and she made a good argument for reading it. I asked my husband, a psychologist, if he knew of it and he recalled it positively but vaguely from many years ago. I read it and found it to be sound, organized, and not trying to be more than it is. I found the book easy to gel with my faith.
Optional Activities
*Read Feeling Good, (you can preview it here) or other information about cognitive distortions and dysfunctional attitudes.
*Write on one sheet of paper, "Action", on another, "Thought", on another, "Feeling", on a final, "Behavior" without others seeing. Have one family member hold up "Action" and another, "Behavior." Ask, "What comes between someone's action and another person's reaction or behavior?" My children were stumped so I showed them the "Thought" and "Feeling" sheets and asked if these two came between the two. Upon discussion we agreed they did and then I asked if they came in a particular order. We discussed recent examples of difficulties we've had with each other. We agreed that thoughts came before feelings. We hung the papers, in order, on our counter bar that divides our kitchen and living space.
*List "thinking distortions" on a sheet of paper, next to ATFB papers above. Discuss each as related to family tensions. Discuss in a matter-of-fact manner, avoiding rehashing or blaming, coming from curiosity and courtesy.
*List, post, and discuss "attitude distortions." They are: Approval, Love, Achievement, Perfectionism, Entitlement, Omnipotence, Autonomy
*Use new vocabulary to identify, describe, and solve problems.
*Discuss connections to Beatitudes and Mood.
Responsibility
Each of us is ultimately responsible for our own thoughts, feelings, and actions. We are committed to maintaining our happy number at a minimum of 8. We use the information that we have posted on our faith board and counter bar when our mood is negative until we feel relief. We are also a loving family and each of us impacts other family members. We treat each other with respect, sensitivity, and courtesy. We try to solve problems between each other quickly. We make and accept amends. We strive to stay in a blessed state individually and as a family.
Optional Activities
*Post and discuss Peter Kreeft's diagram found on page 111 in Making Sense Out of Suffering (Below is my attempt to recreate it. In this cycle, Pride points to Disaster and Repentance points to Blessed. Plus there are counter arrows that point to opposites - Blessed is opposite of Disaster, Luxury is opposite of Suffering, and Pride is opposite of Repentance.):
Blessed -> Luxury -> Pride
Repentance <- Suffering <- Disaster *Discuss how Disaster can be self-inflicted or not. Distinguish between mistakes, misunderstandings, misfortune and inconveniences. *Discuss grief and how there are times when all we can do in the face of loss is cry and wait. *Show love through the 5 love languages.
*Keep track of tendencies. Initial specific distortions. Look for individual and family patterns.
*Battle tendencies, especially Entitlement and Perfectionism.
*Practice doing over mistakes properly.
*Have fun.
*Show gratitude.
*Give alms.
*Fast.
*Smile - It Confuses People (saw that on a bumper sticker!)
He said, "Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked I shall depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD." Job 1:21
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Posture Helps
My posture has been poor, rolled shoulders, for as long as I can remember. Eight years ago I worked with a wonderful progressive chiropractor in Elko, NV, and he helped to get me into better alignment and nearly fixed my reverse neck curve before I needed to move. A few months ago I decided to work on my posture again, but this time I wanted to find tools that I could use at home on my own. These are the helps that I found, in the order that I found them:
Posture Alignment is a helpful book which explains the nuts and bolts of proper posture. It is a quick read, practical, and not too new-agey like so many books on posture connected with yoga and optimal health are. The author explains how to find where you need help with your posture and then directs you to specific exercises for correction. The exercises are gentle and take ~ 25 minutes. I enjoy doing the exercises because they are relaxing and feel good, bringing relief to my sore back. I was also able to fix, on my own, a lower back kink by doing these exercises.
Posture Pal is a passive device that feels sooooooo good to my back. I purchased this originally to use in conjunction with the posture exercises from the Posture Alignment book, since several include laying on my back. More often, though, I just use it when I'm tired in the middle of or at the end of the day, when I need to rest and have quiet time. I was pleased to find this product because over the years, I have tried to simulate exactly what this product does. It places firm padding between my shoulders and allows my shoulders to drop back into proper alignment.
While purchasing the Posture Pal, I added the D-Core pillow to my order. I have mixed feelings about this product. I'm doing my best to learn how to sleep on my back, due to pregnancies and nursing in bed I'm a devoted side sleeper, and I think this pillow helps, but sometimes I fall out of it or roll to my side but don't land where I should. It is definitely better for my posture than my previous pillow, a latex pillow that I loved, but I will keep my eyes open for other pillow opportunities.
The Nada Chair is a funky little device that helps me to sit properly anywhere. I use this "chair" when working at the computer, sitting at the table for meals, sitting at the table doing formal work with the children, sitting on the couch folding laundry, etc. I've used on long rides in the car as a passenger and when at a Dback game in the cheap seats. I love how, without effort or thought on my part, this back support gently and firmly forces my back and neck into a proper sitting position. Now that the good weather is coming to Arizona, I hope to develop the habit of bringing the Nada Chair with me to use on nature walks, hikes, and park days.
T-Tapp deserves a post of its own because it has helped me with so much more than posture, but for now I'll share that these exercises have made my back, shoulders, and neck stronger than I've ever known them to be. I do Theresa Tapp's "Primary Back Stretch", which takes ~ 3 minutes, as soon as I get up in the morning and before I go to bed.
I thank my husband for encouraging me to risk spending money on products that might help because they have! Here's my favorite proof. When Dave took me out for dinner on our 21st anniversary at the end of August, we went to Carrabbas and were seated in a booth. I would normally have suffered mightily and squirmed like the other customers around me, yet I sat properly without back support and with complete comfort for appetizers, dinner, and dessert! Improved posture and cannolies, now that's a happy combination:).
Posture Alignment is a helpful book which explains the nuts and bolts of proper posture. It is a quick read, practical, and not too new-agey like so many books on posture connected with yoga and optimal health are. The author explains how to find where you need help with your posture and then directs you to specific exercises for correction. The exercises are gentle and take ~ 25 minutes. I enjoy doing the exercises because they are relaxing and feel good, bringing relief to my sore back. I was also able to fix, on my own, a lower back kink by doing these exercises.
Posture Pal is a passive device that feels sooooooo good to my back. I purchased this originally to use in conjunction with the posture exercises from the Posture Alignment book, since several include laying on my back. More often, though, I just use it when I'm tired in the middle of or at the end of the day, when I need to rest and have quiet time. I was pleased to find this product because over the years, I have tried to simulate exactly what this product does. It places firm padding between my shoulders and allows my shoulders to drop back into proper alignment.
While purchasing the Posture Pal, I added the D-Core pillow to my order. I have mixed feelings about this product. I'm doing my best to learn how to sleep on my back, due to pregnancies and nursing in bed I'm a devoted side sleeper, and I think this pillow helps, but sometimes I fall out of it or roll to my side but don't land where I should. It is definitely better for my posture than my previous pillow, a latex pillow that I loved, but I will keep my eyes open for other pillow opportunities.
The Nada Chair is a funky little device that helps me to sit properly anywhere. I use this "chair" when working at the computer, sitting at the table for meals, sitting at the table doing formal work with the children, sitting on the couch folding laundry, etc. I've used on long rides in the car as a passenger and when at a Dback game in the cheap seats. I love how, without effort or thought on my part, this back support gently and firmly forces my back and neck into a proper sitting position. Now that the good weather is coming to Arizona, I hope to develop the habit of bringing the Nada Chair with me to use on nature walks, hikes, and park days.
T-Tapp deserves a post of its own because it has helped me with so much more than posture, but for now I'll share that these exercises have made my back, shoulders, and neck stronger than I've ever known them to be. I do Theresa Tapp's "Primary Back Stretch", which takes ~ 3 minutes, as soon as I get up in the morning and before I go to bed.
I thank my husband for encouraging me to risk spending money on products that might help because they have! Here's my favorite proof. When Dave took me out for dinner on our 21st anniversary at the end of August, we went to Carrabbas and were seated in a booth. I would normally have suffered mightily and squirmed like the other customers around me, yet I sat properly without back support and with complete comfort for appetizers, dinner, and dessert! Improved posture and cannolies, now that's a happy combination:).
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Independent Study and Chores
Much of the work that my children do each day is independent. At ages 9, 12, and 16, they work off of their checklists that are kept on clipboards and we adjust monthly or as needed. My 16 year old daughter is accountable to her dad, by calling him daily and reporting her work. The 9 and 12 year old boys work together on their checklists and are accountable to me daily by asking me to initial their work. On Sundays, they show their Dad their completed checklists at our family meeting. Here is their current Study Checklist (click on the image for better viewing):
Here is their current Chore Checklist (click on the image for better viewing):
When the children were young, I had picture checklists posted in rooms throughout the house to remind them. (These are easy enough to make by using Google Image Search.) Checklists are reminders of tasks that they can already do on their own.
Here is their current Chore Checklist (click on the image for better viewing):
When the children were young, I had picture checklists posted in rooms throughout the house to remind them. (These are easy enough to make by using Google Image Search.) Checklists are reminders of tasks that they can already do on their own.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Cushioned Routine
Before I wrote about pinpointing my difficulty with handling exceptions to my routine, I looked carefully at my routine and found it to be "good enough." I gauge my routine by simple standards.
Does it reflect our goals, both short-term and long-term? As a Catholic family, our ultimate goal is clear; our eyes are fixed on heaven. All of our little goals need to point us there. Our routine needs to point us there. For us, it needs to be structured enough to encourage our highest values and priorities and it needs to be flexible enough to handle God's surprises and tests.
Does it reflect our values and priorities? Fortunately, our values and priorities have remained steady for years. We teased them out over several years before we returned to the Faith then refined, and continue to refine, them within the Faith. Here is how I wrote about our priorities in 2006 and later that year.
Is it proportionate? This is often where our family needs to make adjustments. As a home educating family, there is always the temptation to make home educating more than it needs to be. The perfect math program? Doesn't exist, although Math-U-See is good enough. The perfect Advent preparation? Doesn't happen, although tried and true traditions help. The perfect craft? Now THAT would be a miracle in this house! Field trips galore? Once a month, or less, is doable. Child doesn't "get it?" Time is on our side. Spiritual experiences? Over-rated, we just need to stick with the Little Way. We know we need to keep it simple. Master skills, such as math, playing music, and foreign language, through regular practice. Build broad knowledge through story, discussion, and experience. Read books. Listen to music. Play CDs while driving. Go outside and pay attention to nature.
Is it clearly communicated? It needs to be written down, continually updated, and placed in an accessible place for reference.
Is it flexible and does it provide an ample cushion to absorb the unexpected and unplanned? For example, my waking time is between 6:00 and 8:00 a.m., depending on if I slept well the night before. If I'm up all night with a vomiting child, then I can rise at 8:00 a.m. and not panic that I didn't rise at 6:00 and lost two productive hours. We have "quiet alone" time most afternoons from ~2:00 - 4:00. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings have no ongoing commitments. Sundays are for rest, Mass, and enjoyable family time. These times can be used to absorb the unexpected yet we need to take care not to choose to put too much into these times.
Here's our current schedule:
Does it reflect our goals, both short-term and long-term? As a Catholic family, our ultimate goal is clear; our eyes are fixed on heaven. All of our little goals need to point us there. Our routine needs to point us there. For us, it needs to be structured enough to encourage our highest values and priorities and it needs to be flexible enough to handle God's surprises and tests.
Does it reflect our values and priorities? Fortunately, our values and priorities have remained steady for years. We teased them out over several years before we returned to the Faith then refined, and continue to refine, them within the Faith. Here is how I wrote about our priorities in 2006 and later that year.
Is it proportionate? This is often where our family needs to make adjustments. As a home educating family, there is always the temptation to make home educating more than it needs to be. The perfect math program? Doesn't exist, although Math-U-See is good enough. The perfect Advent preparation? Doesn't happen, although tried and true traditions help. The perfect craft? Now THAT would be a miracle in this house! Field trips galore? Once a month, or less, is doable. Child doesn't "get it?" Time is on our side. Spiritual experiences? Over-rated, we just need to stick with the Little Way. We know we need to keep it simple. Master skills, such as math, playing music, and foreign language, through regular practice. Build broad knowledge through story, discussion, and experience. Read books. Listen to music. Play CDs while driving. Go outside and pay attention to nature.
Is it clearly communicated? It needs to be written down, continually updated, and placed in an accessible place for reference.
Is it flexible and does it provide an ample cushion to absorb the unexpected and unplanned? For example, my waking time is between 6:00 and 8:00 a.m., depending on if I slept well the night before. If I'm up all night with a vomiting child, then I can rise at 8:00 a.m. and not panic that I didn't rise at 6:00 and lost two productive hours. We have "quiet alone" time most afternoons from ~2:00 - 4:00. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings have no ongoing commitments. Sundays are for rest, Mass, and enjoyable family time. These times can be used to absorb the unexpected yet we need to take care not to choose to put too much into these times.
Here's our current schedule:
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Discipline During Exceptions
After I read, A Mother's Rule of Life, I wondered about personal discipline and exceptions to the rule. It does take discipline to set up a rule and to live it day in and day out. Yet, does this mean that when exceptions to the rule happen, it necessarily shows a lack of discipline? Or is there a way to grow in personal discipline through exceptions? When I look at how I spend my time, it falls into three categories; my routine, exceptions to my routine, and crisis. Regardless of how strict or fluid my routine is, there will always be exceptions and crisis. In order for me to avoid being vulnerable to undo surprise, resentment, and anxiety in reaction to these events, it makes sense and brings me peace to have a plan for the unplanned.
I need to have a routine that has enough cushion to absorb exceptional events. Whether my current routine is fabulously fluid or necessarily connected to the clock, I need to have spaces that are down-time or readily able to catch unplanned events. Currently, most of our afternoons are loose, as are Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings, and Sundays.
I need to keep track of exceptional events. I can't let myself move mindlessly from one event to the next. I can't just check the chaos off of my calendar or to-do list and call it a day. Just because I've managed to make it through a doctor's appointment, phone call from my loved one, and teen heart-to-heart, all in one day happily, doesn't mean that I haven't expended energy that will need to be replenished.
I need to know how many exceptional events I can tolerate within a day and week. Currently, I can handle up to three exceptions to my day. If I hit four or more, my energy is depleted to the point where I am unable to be the woman I know God wants me to be. I become edgy, short-tempered, quick to direct and correct, weepy, defeated, and worse.
Exceptional events that I control, I need to schedule them patiently over time. When I have a list of exceptional things to be done, like getting a new air conditioner, fixing the garage door, and hiring a pest control company, my inclination is to do it all as quickly as possible to get it off my list. Wrong. I need to look at my week and plug in one per week, max. This means that it will take weeks, perhaps months, for me to get around to fixing my ice machine, sigh.
Exceptional events that I don't control, I need to accept. Sounds simple but boy do I fight this one. I get stuck in wishing they didn't need to happen, like the many medical appointments connected with an 8 year old's broken nose.
I need to communicate to my loved ones when I am getting close to my limit. Fortunately, my children are not overwhelmed. It is understandable that they don't see all of the exceptional events in my day and don't understand how they can overwhelm me. My husband has a very full and demanding job which keeps him from knowing the tedious details of the stressors in my day to day work. It is up to me to let them know, before I am completely overwhelmed, that exceptional events are piling up for me. I can tell my children to not ask for any exception to our routine today because we've already had three. I can tell my husband that I need to not make a decision about purchasing a vehicle today because I've already had to deal with four exceptional events today.
To this end, I have a nifty pipe cleaner and bead tally system that has served me well. In the above picture, you can see it located on our family message board. Below is a close-up.
Starting on Sunday, all of my beads are on the left side. As the day proceeds, I keep track of exceptions (remember, these can be awful or lovely events, but they weren't planned or happen irregularly.) I leave a space between each day of the week. The example above shows that I had a pretty rough Sunday, with four difficulties. This let the whole family know to go easy on me this week because Sundays are normally my big rest and renew day. Ideally, I won't have over twenty beads per week.
Want some examples of what "gets a bead" from me?...
Long distance phone call from a friend (lovely)
Two-year old vomiting (blech)
Purchase a new vehicle (big decision)
Mother and father arrive for their winter stay (yea!)
Child is caught in a big mistake (discouraging)
Air conditioner takes two days to install instead of one (oh bother)
Medical appointments for son's broken nose (good news at least!)
Sleepless night with two-year old (poor guy)
Get blinds installed (a week early...good once it was over)
Difficulty at Mass (sometimes irreverence just gets to me)
Grief (suprised by when and how much I need to stop and remember my loss)
The beads are a concrete and simple way to help me and my loved ones *see* where I'm at. They are beginning to understand that even when something wonderful in their eyes happens, it may still take energy from me. They are better able to see that just because I'm smiling and putting up a good front, doesn't mean that I'm not taxed. The beads have also given us a verbal short-hand. All I have to say is, "That's a bead," when an exception to our routine happens. I appreciate anything that discourages me from monologuing! We can also describe the dynamic of one difficulty snowballing into another by calling it, "double beading." This means that if I get on the phone with a friend who needs to talk, the children are to continue with their work. If they don't, that's another bead because we hadn't planned for them to not do work. Double-beading is when the beads really start to add up.
For me, it takes discipline to handle exceptions to my routine well. Knowing that I am growing in discipline through exceptions helps me to see them as a purposeful part of my vocation. Plus, the beads and pipe cleaner sorta make me look crafty:).
Friday, November 02, 2007
A Very Content and Happy Life
Last week, I watched a ten minute video about, and in the words of, Johnny Farese. I was struck by his credibility, transparency, and clarity, among other beautiful things. I was especially struck by his description of his life as being very content and happy. Content and happy...
My dad retired a few years ago and lives a happy and content life. He married my mom when they were both nineteen and has been content with his wife for over forty years. He worked as a skilled laborer to provide for his family, not to gain any personal prestige or status, and has been content to hang out with hard working (and incredibly funny) men all these years. He and my mom have lived in the same home since I was eight, content with one bathroom and the two-car garage he finally built for himself a few years back. He worked hard for his money and is content to spend it without much fuss.
Being content has nothing to do with being slothful or lazy and everything to do with being grateful and accepting hardship and suffering. When I look at Johnny and my father, I see two very hard-working men. They work hard within the container of their values and with what they control. Within this container is excellence. They are grateful for their lives, their opportunities, and their loved ones. They can see past limitations, and even more, to see good within their limitations. And there is suffering and sacrifice and disappointment. Yet, the pain somehow magnifies the good, bringing happiness.
Our family wants contentment. Without contentment, we are dissatisfied, entitled, grumpy, and unhappy, and all of this wreaks havoc on relationships. What helps foster contentment? Looking at Johnny and my dad, we can start by working hard toward excellence within our values and abilities and in order of our priorities. We need to be grateful for what we have, live within our means, and protect ourselves from outside sources that undermine our contentment. We also need to delay our gratification and suffer, understanding that this is purposeful and by God's design. We can also pray for contentment. I think that as with other mysterious commodities, there is an aspect of contentment that is a gift from God. Contentment is connected to the gift of faith and to the Peace that passes understanding.
I pray for a very content and happy life for all those I love.
My dad retired a few years ago and lives a happy and content life. He married my mom when they were both nineteen and has been content with his wife for over forty years. He worked as a skilled laborer to provide for his family, not to gain any personal prestige or status, and has been content to hang out with hard working (and incredibly funny) men all these years. He and my mom have lived in the same home since I was eight, content with one bathroom and the two-car garage he finally built for himself a few years back. He worked hard for his money and is content to spend it without much fuss.
Being content has nothing to do with being slothful or lazy and everything to do with being grateful and accepting hardship and suffering. When I look at Johnny and my father, I see two very hard-working men. They work hard within the container of their values and with what they control. Within this container is excellence. They are grateful for their lives, their opportunities, and their loved ones. They can see past limitations, and even more, to see good within their limitations. And there is suffering and sacrifice and disappointment. Yet, the pain somehow magnifies the good, bringing happiness.
Our family wants contentment. Without contentment, we are dissatisfied, entitled, grumpy, and unhappy, and all of this wreaks havoc on relationships. What helps foster contentment? Looking at Johnny and my dad, we can start by working hard toward excellence within our values and abilities and in order of our priorities. We need to be grateful for what we have, live within our means, and protect ourselves from outside sources that undermine our contentment. We also need to delay our gratification and suffer, understanding that this is purposeful and by God's design. We can also pray for contentment. I think that as with other mysterious commodities, there is an aspect of contentment that is a gift from God. Contentment is connected to the gift of faith and to the Peace that passes understanding.
I pray for a very content and happy life for all those I love.
Friday, October 26, 2007
The Gift of a Day in Bed
I spent the day in bed today because my body was exhausted. The last few weeks have strung together an amazing fullness of life, to include working on a big project, caring for my son's broken nose, and mentoring my teen through a difficult time. Under normal circumstances, my routine acts as the glue that holds me together. Daily I strive to pray well, eat well, rest well, take my vitamins, the whole routine. My routine is a form of discipline and I do see it as my responsibility to make sure that I don't get too depleted, that I protect my time, and that I care for myself in the midst of family life. Most of the time, staying on top of my care daily is enough. Most of the time.
After several weeks of unusual and purposeful action on my part, well fueled by the Holy Spirit (Thank You!), my body was bound to meet it's natural point of depletion. I was flying through this time with a physical energy that was not my norm, and I knew it. When days turned into weeks and I was still going strong, I thought I got away with something! Then last night, my husband returned from being out of town, took the children to their practices, and left me alone at home. Oh, how rare it is for me to be home alone! My mind naturally went to my ever-growing to-do list and the hole I felt dug into from the past wild weeks. My body, however, had different plans. I rested on the couch and watched the World Series until my family returned then I went to bed. Very unusual.
Today I was blessed with a rare day of no medical appointments, no outside lessons, no outside classes, no outside commitments. My normal Friday routine is filled with home-based work and the to-do list. I bucked my own system and stayed in bed. My children assured me that they would hold down the fort, and they did. They even went above and beyond the call of duty by making me breakfast in bed (scrambled eggs, home-made sausage, toast, and honey crisp apple slices,) lunch in bed (chicken salad with capers and sun-dried tomatoes sandwich and orange slices,) and hauling drinking water to me like I was a wilted plant. They kept the house quiet while I napped, twice. I prayed and read and the day flew by like a luscious dream.
By five o'clock, I felt so much better. I felt like my body was finally "caught up" with my positive thoughts and feelings. I felt so good that the children and I made a nice dinner for my husband, enjoyed it with him, then sent HIM to bed. I folded clothes while watching a movie with the children and now I'm off for a walk. I'm optimistic that this day was well spent, not only in energy gained, but in problems avoided. Tomorrow will be here soon and I'll need to get back to my routine. I'll keep this gift of a day in bed in mind for the future, and I'll pray that my mothering friends and family will find themselves with the opportunity to accept the gift as well.
After several weeks of unusual and purposeful action on my part, well fueled by the Holy Spirit (Thank You!), my body was bound to meet it's natural point of depletion. I was flying through this time with a physical energy that was not my norm, and I knew it. When days turned into weeks and I was still going strong, I thought I got away with something! Then last night, my husband returned from being out of town, took the children to their practices, and left me alone at home. Oh, how rare it is for me to be home alone! My mind naturally went to my ever-growing to-do list and the hole I felt dug into from the past wild weeks. My body, however, had different plans. I rested on the couch and watched the World Series until my family returned then I went to bed. Very unusual.
Today I was blessed with a rare day of no medical appointments, no outside lessons, no outside classes, no outside commitments. My normal Friday routine is filled with home-based work and the to-do list. I bucked my own system and stayed in bed. My children assured me that they would hold down the fort, and they did. They even went above and beyond the call of duty by making me breakfast in bed (scrambled eggs, home-made sausage, toast, and honey crisp apple slices,) lunch in bed (chicken salad with capers and sun-dried tomatoes sandwich and orange slices,) and hauling drinking water to me like I was a wilted plant. They kept the house quiet while I napped, twice. I prayed and read and the day flew by like a luscious dream.
By five o'clock, I felt so much better. I felt like my body was finally "caught up" with my positive thoughts and feelings. I felt so good that the children and I made a nice dinner for my husband, enjoyed it with him, then sent HIM to bed. I folded clothes while watching a movie with the children and now I'm off for a walk. I'm optimistic that this day was well spent, not only in energy gained, but in problems avoided. Tomorrow will be here soon and I'll need to get back to my routine. I'll keep this gift of a day in bed in mind for the future, and I'll pray that my mothering friends and family will find themselves with the opportunity to accept the gift as well.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
After Miscarriage
Three months ago I suffered a miscarriage for the first time. I became aware of my pregnancy at 5 weeks and aware of our loss at 14 weeks, which gave our family 9 weeks of earthly togetherness with baby Catherine. These weeks looked much like the first weeks of our other four pregnancies. They were filled with surprise and joy, nausea and fatigue, re-grouping and anticipation. Abruptly after her loss, my family and I were plunged into a surreal time and place of bittersweet mystery.
The main new lesson that I have learned is that I am still, and always will be, Catherine's mother, but at first I was dumbfounded. I didn't know how to continue in my role as mother for her. I no longer needed to eat, drink, and rest for her. I didn't need to see my midwife for her. I didn't need to plan and prepare for her coming. All I could do was pray.
Much to my surprise, relief, and joy, I am learning how to be the mother of a saint. In many ways, what I do now is what I did with my children on earth. Our relationship is growing over time through conversation and prayer. I find myself talking up to heaven to her where in the past I would talk to the baby in my growing belly. I have dreams about her as I had dreams about her siblings. She is included in family conversation yet instead of talking about our anticipation of her being with us on earth, we talk about striving to join her in heaven. We ask for her intercession and through this and more, our relationship and unity grows.
My desire to hold Catherine in my arms is beyond description. I still cry for all that was lost. Yet I cannot deny all that has been gained for me, for our family, and for Catherine. I have gained the joy of being the mother of a saint. Our family has gained another member to help lead us to heaven. Catherine has life, full and complete, by our intent to baptize her, through Christ in heaven.
Lord, I thank you for blessing me with children and the promise of eternal life. Please bless those who have suffered loss through miscarriage, especially those who do not receive the fullness of consolation found in the Catholic faith. I ask this through the intercession of our little Catherine. Amen.
The main new lesson that I have learned is that I am still, and always will be, Catherine's mother, but at first I was dumbfounded. I didn't know how to continue in my role as mother for her. I no longer needed to eat, drink, and rest for her. I didn't need to see my midwife for her. I didn't need to plan and prepare for her coming. All I could do was pray.
Much to my surprise, relief, and joy, I am learning how to be the mother of a saint. In many ways, what I do now is what I did with my children on earth. Our relationship is growing over time through conversation and prayer. I find myself talking up to heaven to her where in the past I would talk to the baby in my growing belly. I have dreams about her as I had dreams about her siblings. She is included in family conversation yet instead of talking about our anticipation of her being with us on earth, we talk about striving to join her in heaven. We ask for her intercession and through this and more, our relationship and unity grows.
My desire to hold Catherine in my arms is beyond description. I still cry for all that was lost. Yet I cannot deny all that has been gained for me, for our family, and for Catherine. I have gained the joy of being the mother of a saint. Our family has gained another member to help lead us to heaven. Catherine has life, full and complete, by our intent to baptize her, through Christ in heaven.
Have you not read ' I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob?' He is not the God of the dead, but of the living.
Matthew 22:31-32
Lord, I thank you for blessing me with children and the promise of eternal life. Please bless those who have suffered loss through miscarriage, especially those who do not receive the fullness of consolation found in the Catholic faith. I ask this through the intercession of our little Catherine. Amen.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Craft Ease
I try not to let my craft-impaired self deny my children the opportunity to do crafts. I don't always succeed. When I do, though, the children and I feel great after our craft time is complete. For me, a craft must:
Need little to no adult preparation.
Involve the children actively from start to finish.
Use inexpensive and readily available material.
Be easy to individualize.
Have a satisfying process and product.
Be quick and easy to do and clean up.
Today we did some simple paper weaving . We also did this complete the picture craft with pictures of wildlife.
Need little to no adult preparation.
Involve the children actively from start to finish.
Use inexpensive and readily available material.
Be easy to individualize.
Have a satisfying process and product.
Be quick and easy to do and clean up.
Today we did some simple paper weaving . We also did this complete the picture craft with pictures of wildlife.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Vacation Tips
One of the great perks of knowing how to be together as a family is that when you are REALLY together, I mean, stuck in a teeny tiny van together for a six hour drive and a teeny tiny room upon arrival, you already know some ways of getting along that are firmly planted. You also have no grand illusions of how easy and relaxing this will all be.
Tip 1: Plan but don't over plan.
Often one parent is the primo planner while the other is the, um, less than primo planner. What the primo planner may not know is that the under-planner may be onto something. Over-planning not only expends a ton of energy before a trip, but it can set expectations too high and thwart flexibility and spontaneity upon arrival. The best way to not over plan is to focus less on planning a tight schedule, and plan based on family priorities.
Tip 2: Identify family priorities.
We had a brief meeting a few days before our trip and talked about what we liked about past vacations and what we didn't like. We listed everything that anyone liked. Then we talked about what "vacation" means to each of us. Some of us love lots of activity, some of us like to sleep in, some of us like an orderly room, some like to eat great Italian food (that's me!) Don't forget to fill in what your littles will like to do...sleep, play undisturbed, not be dragged to too many activities, etc. From this list we chose our favorite activities to be placed on the calendar later.
Tip 3: Staying within a budget.
We talked about costs honestly before the trip and about how much we would like to spend. We got creative and found online coupons for some amusements and purchased a 2007 Entertainment book on sale cheap at Entertainment.com but you can also get them at Ebay - coupons good through Nov. 1 2007. We decided that somethings just weren't worth the money while others were.
Tip 4: Bring meals.
Bringing our own meals saves a ton of time, decisions, and money while our own food keeps our stomachs from acting out and helps us appreciate our few meals out. We keep it simple. Granola or muesli (soaked grains) and yogurt and fresh fruit for breakfast. These are easily eaten while driving. Carrot sticks or tortilla chips for snacks. Sandwiches (loaves of bread, deli meat, tomato, bagged salad, mayo and Italian dressing) or bean burritos (tortillas, pepperjack cheese, canned refried beans, and salsa) for lunch or dinner. We also purchased stuff for grilling while we were there. By the time we went out to eat (with solid recommendations and coupons in hand) let me tell you, everything was tasting really good!
Tip 5: Feast.
Bring lots of treats that you don't usually have. For us this means sweets and entertainment DVDs. We brought marshmallows and toasted them after grilling one meal. We brought hot chocolate and put in marshmallows (I'm noticing a pattern here.) We purchased a box of local chocolates while there. We chewed gum - while in the van - probably won't do THAT again. We purchased ice cream cones (with coupons) and cannolis (without coupons because they are SO worth it!) And we ate gourmet jelly beans...which leads me to...
Tip 6: Carry on traditions.
Somewhere along the line years ago I brought a bag of gourmet jelly beans on a long drive with the family. We turned the jelly beans into a game called "Name That Jelly Bean." One person looks at the jelly bean and hands it to another family member. That member isn't supposed to look (but they do) then eat it and try to figure out the flavor. One of the reasons some of us look is because no one wants to get stuck with "buttered popcorn." Some children think it is hilarious to stick their sibling with a "buttered popcorn." Oh the groans from the recipient and the howling of laughter from the rest of us - I mean them:). Anyway, now we have this tradition. We simply can not go on a long ride without the gourmet jelly beans. Look for and foster your own traditions. They tend to create themselves. By the way, my favorite jelly bean is cinnamon.
Tip 7: Fill in a calendar, loosely.
Take your favorite activities and place them on the calendar with enough cushion to absorb changes of plans. We find it easiest to stay at a place that is fun in and of itself. We are blessed to be able to stay at a military hotel on the beach. Being on the beach was our daily activity, then each day we would go out once either for a meal or for an additional activity. This was plenty.
Tip 8: Let the baby sleep.
Sleep is good for every one, especially little ones. And a well-rested little one is key to having a pleasant vacation. Make time for sleep and value it.
Tip 9: Keep discipline.
Parents, me included, tend to want to "relax" and "not parent" so much and "let the kids relax" and "have a good time" but the bottom line is that parents need to parent in order for all to have a good time. Since our older children are mostly cooperative, we brought two easy tools with us. We asked them to sit out from an activity until they were under control or we charged them money. Now before you think "How lame is that to charge kids money for lack of cooperation?" my kids were the ones who came up with this idea! And it worked. It only had to be used once in the van when two boys who shall go unnamed started doing the ole pushing and shoving "he's in my space" thing. Peace for a buck. Not bad.
Tip 10: Pray all prayers first!
We noticed that when we vacation, we don't stick to our whole daily prayer routine. We mean too but we miss something here or there. This trip, we said ALL of our daily prayers (yes, morning prayers, afternoon prayers and evening prayers) first thing in the morning. We either went for a walk on the beach and prayed them or we prayed them in the van on the way to an outing. I was reluctant at first to do this, worried that we would be irreverent or worse, but it was beautiful. There was something pretty powerful about such extended prayer, something rhythmical and enveloping. Plus, we didn't feel worried all day that we might "forget."
Our recent vacation was voted as the best yet by all family members. There was just enough rest and activity, plain food and fun food, nature and glitz, silliness and serious conversation, order and spontaneity, and prayer to meet each one's needs. Plus it was within our budget and I had excellent eggplant parmigiana and two different cannolis. Now, that's a vacation.
Tip 1: Plan but don't over plan.
Often one parent is the primo planner while the other is the, um, less than primo planner. What the primo planner may not know is that the under-planner may be onto something. Over-planning not only expends a ton of energy before a trip, but it can set expectations too high and thwart flexibility and spontaneity upon arrival. The best way to not over plan is to focus less on planning a tight schedule, and plan based on family priorities.
Tip 2: Identify family priorities.
We had a brief meeting a few days before our trip and talked about what we liked about past vacations and what we didn't like. We listed everything that anyone liked. Then we talked about what "vacation" means to each of us. Some of us love lots of activity, some of us like to sleep in, some of us like an orderly room, some like to eat great Italian food (that's me!) Don't forget to fill in what your littles will like to do...sleep, play undisturbed, not be dragged to too many activities, etc. From this list we chose our favorite activities to be placed on the calendar later.
Tip 3: Staying within a budget.
We talked about costs honestly before the trip and about how much we would like to spend. We got creative and found online coupons for some amusements and purchased a 2007 Entertainment book on sale cheap at Entertainment.com but you can also get them at Ebay - coupons good through Nov. 1 2007. We decided that somethings just weren't worth the money while others were.
Tip 4: Bring meals.
Bringing our own meals saves a ton of time, decisions, and money while our own food keeps our stomachs from acting out and helps us appreciate our few meals out. We keep it simple. Granola or muesli (soaked grains) and yogurt and fresh fruit for breakfast. These are easily eaten while driving. Carrot sticks or tortilla chips for snacks. Sandwiches (loaves of bread, deli meat, tomato, bagged salad, mayo and Italian dressing) or bean burritos (tortillas, pepperjack cheese, canned refried beans, and salsa) for lunch or dinner. We also purchased stuff for grilling while we were there. By the time we went out to eat (with solid recommendations and coupons in hand) let me tell you, everything was tasting really good!
Tip 5: Feast.
Bring lots of treats that you don't usually have. For us this means sweets and entertainment DVDs. We brought marshmallows and toasted them after grilling one meal. We brought hot chocolate and put in marshmallows (I'm noticing a pattern here.) We purchased a box of local chocolates while there. We chewed gum - while in the van - probably won't do THAT again. We purchased ice cream cones (with coupons) and cannolis (without coupons because they are SO worth it!) And we ate gourmet jelly beans...which leads me to...
Tip 6: Carry on traditions.
Somewhere along the line years ago I brought a bag of gourmet jelly beans on a long drive with the family. We turned the jelly beans into a game called "Name That Jelly Bean." One person looks at the jelly bean and hands it to another family member. That member isn't supposed to look (but they do) then eat it and try to figure out the flavor. One of the reasons some of us look is because no one wants to get stuck with "buttered popcorn." Some children think it is hilarious to stick their sibling with a "buttered popcorn." Oh the groans from the recipient and the howling of laughter from the rest of us - I mean them:). Anyway, now we have this tradition. We simply can not go on a long ride without the gourmet jelly beans. Look for and foster your own traditions. They tend to create themselves. By the way, my favorite jelly bean is cinnamon.
Tip 7: Fill in a calendar, loosely.
Take your favorite activities and place them on the calendar with enough cushion to absorb changes of plans. We find it easiest to stay at a place that is fun in and of itself. We are blessed to be able to stay at a military hotel on the beach. Being on the beach was our daily activity, then each day we would go out once either for a meal or for an additional activity. This was plenty.
Tip 8: Let the baby sleep.
Sleep is good for every one, especially little ones. And a well-rested little one is key to having a pleasant vacation. Make time for sleep and value it.
Tip 9: Keep discipline.
Parents, me included, tend to want to "relax" and "not parent" so much and "let the kids relax" and "have a good time" but the bottom line is that parents need to parent in order for all to have a good time. Since our older children are mostly cooperative, we brought two easy tools with us. We asked them to sit out from an activity until they were under control or we charged them money. Now before you think "How lame is that to charge kids money for lack of cooperation?" my kids were the ones who came up with this idea! And it worked. It only had to be used once in the van when two boys who shall go unnamed started doing the ole pushing and shoving "he's in my space" thing. Peace for a buck. Not bad.
Tip 10: Pray all prayers first!
We noticed that when we vacation, we don't stick to our whole daily prayer routine. We mean too but we miss something here or there. This trip, we said ALL of our daily prayers (yes, morning prayers, afternoon prayers and evening prayers) first thing in the morning. We either went for a walk on the beach and prayed them or we prayed them in the van on the way to an outing. I was reluctant at first to do this, worried that we would be irreverent or worse, but it was beautiful. There was something pretty powerful about such extended prayer, something rhythmical and enveloping. Plus, we didn't feel worried all day that we might "forget."
Our recent vacation was voted as the best yet by all family members. There was just enough rest and activity, plain food and fun food, nature and glitz, silliness and serious conversation, order and spontaneity, and prayer to meet each one's needs. Plus it was within our budget and I had excellent eggplant parmigiana and two different cannolis. Now, that's a vacation.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
I Came to Delete My Blog...
...and decided not to. How funny!
So much in blogging has changed since I wrote my first post. Mainly, an amazing blogging community has flourished. A long time ago I realized that I wasn't going to fit into the blogging community. This isn't because I'm not welcome, but because I'm not devoted to building community in this way. I'm not able to participate in the relationship aspect of blogging. So why should I blog? Why not just delete the blog and call it an interesting experiemnt? Well, maybe I'll want to read my blog for myself. I don't keep a journal. I'm a terrible letter writer. Yet, I like to have someplace to put my thoughts in writing. Maybe that's enough. I'll need to think on it.
So much in blogging has changed since I wrote my first post. Mainly, an amazing blogging community has flourished. A long time ago I realized that I wasn't going to fit into the blogging community. This isn't because I'm not welcome, but because I'm not devoted to building community in this way. I'm not able to participate in the relationship aspect of blogging. So why should I blog? Why not just delete the blog and call it an interesting experiemnt? Well, maybe I'll want to read my blog for myself. I don't keep a journal. I'm a terrible letter writer. Yet, I like to have someplace to put my thoughts in writing. Maybe that's enough. I'll need to think on it.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Halloween...Boo!
I was raised with American Northeast Halloween style. I went to a tiny Catholic school and learned a Halloween song from the nuns. I dressed in a home-made princess (young child) or witch (older child) costumes. I went trick-or-treating with my brother and friends. We would sing a song to get a treat, and no I never personally did tricks (although I can't vouch for my brother or friends.)
As an adult I wandered west and away from the Catholic Church. Before I headed back to both, I had some time to learn a few things about how others lived their values, with Halloween as an example. I had never given Halloween much thought but being a brand new mommy gave me incentive to think, because like my peers, we wanted to do right by our young children keeping gentleness in mind. I became friends with many intense and thoughtful people...no sheep here. Some friends were liberal secular thinkers. Their beliefs were well-intentioned, thoughtful, and interesting. Halloween was out because it was unsophisticated, too dark, and it bought into our superficial culture. I became friends with many conservative faithful thinkers. Their beliefs were well-intentioned, basic, and passionate. Halloween was out because it was "the work of the devil." I wrestled with Halloween, feeling both confused and apathetic. You see, Halloween wasn't my favorite holiday as a child. I didn't like much candy, I was very shy, and I didn't like scary things. Skipping Halloween altogether had some appeal. Yet, it my memory it was a simple day that was fun and sweet. Nothing more...nothing less.
Once back in the Church, I realized that I had absorbed a very Catholic perspective on Halloween. For a child and adult who never cared much for Halloween, I now found myself defending it, much to my surprise. Within the context of Halloween/All Saints/All Souls day, Halloween make sense. The trick (no pun intended) is to not make it more or less than it is. It isn't a holiday that deserves weeks of planning, decorating, and celebrating. It doesn't need to be about money, gore, and evil. It isn't a holiday that needs to be ignored or rejected because this gives it too much power.
Each year looks different for our family. This year our family will decorate our home outside in classic spooky style. Some of us will trick-or-treat while others stay home with littles and hand out treats from our home. We will dress up in classic and original style...princesses, pirates, witches, clowns, spooky guys, cowboys, Lord of the Rings, Teenage werewolf from the 50's, hippy, animals, hobos, and more. Our boys will spend much of their time at a neighbor's home who does an exceptional job of decorating his garage as a haunted house, scary enough for bigger kids and adults while tame enough on one side for littles. When every thing is over, the children will dump their candy on the table and swap with each other for favorites. We'll put some away for Christmas stockings. I'll make some spiced cider and serve Halloween cookies. Tomorrow morning we'll get up early and take down all the decorations and pack them away for next year. Sweet.
Next? Bring on the great stuff. Let All Saints, All Souls, and the month of remembering our dead, begin.
As an adult I wandered west and away from the Catholic Church. Before I headed back to both, I had some time to learn a few things about how others lived their values, with Halloween as an example. I had never given Halloween much thought but being a brand new mommy gave me incentive to think, because like my peers, we wanted to do right by our young children keeping gentleness in mind. I became friends with many intense and thoughtful people...no sheep here. Some friends were liberal secular thinkers. Their beliefs were well-intentioned, thoughtful, and interesting. Halloween was out because it was unsophisticated, too dark, and it bought into our superficial culture. I became friends with many conservative faithful thinkers. Their beliefs were well-intentioned, basic, and passionate. Halloween was out because it was "the work of the devil." I wrestled with Halloween, feeling both confused and apathetic. You see, Halloween wasn't my favorite holiday as a child. I didn't like much candy, I was very shy, and I didn't like scary things. Skipping Halloween altogether had some appeal. Yet, it my memory it was a simple day that was fun and sweet. Nothing more...nothing less.
Once back in the Church, I realized that I had absorbed a very Catholic perspective on Halloween. For a child and adult who never cared much for Halloween, I now found myself defending it, much to my surprise. Within the context of Halloween/All Saints/All Souls day, Halloween make sense. The trick (no pun intended) is to not make it more or less than it is. It isn't a holiday that deserves weeks of planning, decorating, and celebrating. It doesn't need to be about money, gore, and evil. It isn't a holiday that needs to be ignored or rejected because this gives it too much power.
Each year looks different for our family. This year our family will decorate our home outside in classic spooky style. Some of us will trick-or-treat while others stay home with littles and hand out treats from our home. We will dress up in classic and original style...princesses, pirates, witches, clowns, spooky guys, cowboys, Lord of the Rings, Teenage werewolf from the 50's, hippy, animals, hobos, and more. Our boys will spend much of their time at a neighbor's home who does an exceptional job of decorating his garage as a haunted house, scary enough for bigger kids and adults while tame enough on one side for littles. When every thing is over, the children will dump their candy on the table and swap with each other for favorites. We'll put some away for Christmas stockings. I'll make some spiced cider and serve Halloween cookies. Tomorrow morning we'll get up early and take down all the decorations and pack them away for next year. Sweet.
Next? Bring on the great stuff. Let All Saints, All Souls, and the month of remembering our dead, begin.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Rule of 6
When Mary G. posted an invitation to describe our family's Rule of 6, I thought this would be a fun opportunity to look at our family priority list from a fresh angle. Here's goes!
1. Pray.
2. Grow in Catholic virtue and culture.
3. Meet personal care needs.
4. Build positive relationships.
5. Work hard on meaningful skills and services.
6. Immerse in and discuss all encompassed by Philippians 4:8.
Thinking in terms of daily use of a Rule of Six, the biggest perk is to be satisfied and grateful at the end of each day with what is accomplished. I can look at all that is done and objectively see what does and doesn't fit with our family priorities. What does fit is worthy of our time, even if it wasn't on the schedule or didn't quite turn out as planned. For me and our family, this is so much better than trying to prove personal discipline through sticking to a planned schedule or feeling a constant failure for not sticking with a planned schedule. Also, I can isolate what doesn't fit, giving our family infinite opportunities to work on our weak areas.
A Rule of 6 can also be used in broader ways. Most recently we used our family priority list to help discern our decision to do high school at home. Our list of five priorities could, and should, be expanded to include...
Priority Six: Immersion and Discussion in Whatever...
How can we help her to grow in the spirit of Philippians 4:8? How can we help her to immerse herself in whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, gracious, excellent, and praise-worthy? How can we help her to enjoy, think about, discuss, and produce projects about these things?
Thank you, Lissa and Mary. It has been helpful and enjoyable to think about these things with you!
1. Pray.
2. Grow in Catholic virtue and culture.
3. Meet personal care needs.
4. Build positive relationships.
5. Work hard on meaningful skills and services.
6. Immerse in and discuss all encompassed by Philippians 4:8.
Thinking in terms of daily use of a Rule of Six, the biggest perk is to be satisfied and grateful at the end of each day with what is accomplished. I can look at all that is done and objectively see what does and doesn't fit with our family priorities. What does fit is worthy of our time, even if it wasn't on the schedule or didn't quite turn out as planned. For me and our family, this is so much better than trying to prove personal discipline through sticking to a planned schedule or feeling a constant failure for not sticking with a planned schedule. Also, I can isolate what doesn't fit, giving our family infinite opportunities to work on our weak areas.
A Rule of 6 can also be used in broader ways. Most recently we used our family priority list to help discern our decision to do high school at home. Our list of five priorities could, and should, be expanded to include...
Priority Six: Immersion and Discussion in Whatever...
How can we help her to grow in the spirit of Philippians 4:8? How can we help her to immerse herself in whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, gracious, excellent, and praise-worthy? How can we help her to enjoy, think about, discuss, and produce projects about these things?
Thank you, Lissa and Mary. It has been helpful and enjoyable to think about these things with you!
Saturday, September 02, 2006
High School at Home
At the heart of choosing to home educate through high school, my daughter and our family felt that this path fit our priorities best. Looking at all outside options, continuing to home educate makes most sense. Looking at all home schooling options, High School of Your Dreams, make most sense.
There is a lot of social pressure to make academics the top priority for all high schoolers. The argument is that this is the season for intensive academic growth and preparation for college. Yet, our family continues to question this argument. More specifically, we ask ourselves, what would an academically rich curriculum look like that wouldn't sacrifice other, we believe higher, priorities?
Priority one: God
How will we protect, foster, and ensure an environment that brings our high schooler closer to God? How will we make time for an increase and maturity in prayer? How will we minimize distractions from and attacks against our high schoolers relationship with God? How will she receive opportunities to defend God and her faith, growing in spiritual strength and maturity? How will she best get to know and love her faith?
Priority two: Virtue
How will we help her to continue to grow in virtue? How can we help her build upon her strengths while dealing directly with her weaknesses? How can we best mentor and guide her? What virtues are of highest priority?
Priority three: Personal Care
How can we help her to get enough sleep? Eat well? Exercise? Heal in time of illness? How can we help her to best prevent harm to her body, to avoid being exposed to alcohol, drugs, body piercing, tattooing, slicing, promiscuity, and more?
Priority four: Relationships
How do we help her to stay connected in a healthy way to those who love her, and who she loves, the most? How do we encourage healthy friendships?
Priority five: Skills and Service
How do we help her to grow in academic skill? How do we help her to prepare for her vocation of wife and mother? How do we help her to prepare for college? How do we help her to serve others through her talents and gifts?
When batting all this around a few months ago, we were honest with our daughter. Although we felt that we could provide a unique, enriching, and real-life high school curriculum, there may be negative consequences connected with this decision. Some people may not understand it. Some colleges may not accept it. Some tests scores may not be as high as under other circumstances. Yet when all was said and done and the decision needed to be made, we chose to stay home and to continue learning together.
There is a lot of social pressure to make academics the top priority for all high schoolers. The argument is that this is the season for intensive academic growth and preparation for college. Yet, our family continues to question this argument. More specifically, we ask ourselves, what would an academically rich curriculum look like that wouldn't sacrifice other, we believe higher, priorities?
Priority one: God
How will we protect, foster, and ensure an environment that brings our high schooler closer to God? How will we make time for an increase and maturity in prayer? How will we minimize distractions from and attacks against our high schoolers relationship with God? How will she receive opportunities to defend God and her faith, growing in spiritual strength and maturity? How will she best get to know and love her faith?
Priority two: Virtue
How will we help her to continue to grow in virtue? How can we help her build upon her strengths while dealing directly with her weaknesses? How can we best mentor and guide her? What virtues are of highest priority?
Priority three: Personal Care
How can we help her to get enough sleep? Eat well? Exercise? Heal in time of illness? How can we help her to best prevent harm to her body, to avoid being exposed to alcohol, drugs, body piercing, tattooing, slicing, promiscuity, and more?
Priority four: Relationships
How do we help her to stay connected in a healthy way to those who love her, and who she loves, the most? How do we encourage healthy friendships?
Priority five: Skills and Service
How do we help her to grow in academic skill? How do we help her to prepare for her vocation of wife and mother? How do we help her to prepare for college? How do we help her to serve others through her talents and gifts?
When batting all this around a few months ago, we were honest with our daughter. Although we felt that we could provide a unique, enriching, and real-life high school curriculum, there may be negative consequences connected with this decision. Some people may not understand it. Some colleges may not accept it. Some tests scores may not be as high as under other circumstances. Yet when all was said and done and the decision needed to be made, we chose to stay home and to continue learning together.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Shiny Corners
Our family life is currently shiny bright. This isn't bragging. It is the truth, God-given, and appreciated. Practicing our faith, living our values, and sticking together through the tough times has helped us to flourish. Since the accident, I've been wondering if all our brightness has tricked me, tricked our family, into not seeing some shaded corners of our otherwise shiny life.
Corner one: Finances
The accident cost us money and forced us to look again at how we have been handling our money. There was a time, not long ago, when our family was debt-free and had comfortable savings. This lifestyle was gained through a lot of hard work and sacrifice. Yet, the past few years brought with them financial challenges combined with growing children and apathy that a good, secure income can bring.
Where is the family glue here? Our new family project, of course! We are working together on our finances to include reading books on the subject, having meetings, pulling together a budget, and of course making financial sacrifices to reach our goals.
Corner two: Time Management
The accident cost us time. Plus, after I finally said, "Yes," to God to look again at our finances, I had to beg, "Lord, I know how much time and energy this will entail! Can you PLEASE help me to figure out how I can squeeze one more thing into my full life?" Within a few days, He helped me see a solution to a time management puzzle that has been haunting me for over a year.
The stage is now set for many blog posts as our family bumbles, I mean grows in unity, through our latest projects. Thanks be to God.
Corner one: Finances
The accident cost us money and forced us to look again at how we have been handling our money. There was a time, not long ago, when our family was debt-free and had comfortable savings. This lifestyle was gained through a lot of hard work and sacrifice. Yet, the past few years brought with them financial challenges combined with growing children and apathy that a good, secure income can bring.
Where is the family glue here? Our new family project, of course! We are working together on our finances to include reading books on the subject, having meetings, pulling together a budget, and of course making financial sacrifices to reach our goals.
Corner two: Time Management
The accident cost us time. Plus, after I finally said, "Yes," to God to look again at our finances, I had to beg, "Lord, I know how much time and energy this will entail! Can you PLEASE help me to figure out how I can squeeze one more thing into my full life?" Within a few days, He helped me see a solution to a time management puzzle that has been haunting me for over a year.
The stage is now set for many blog posts as our family bumbles, I mean grows in unity, through our latest projects. Thanks be to God.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Crash and Rebuild
On July 11, 2006, our whole family was in a vehicle accident that left our old van totaled, our bodies bruised and achey, and our souls strong. Going through difficulties together as a family has a way of showing our strengths and weaknesses. Fortunately, this time, we saw mostly our strengths.
It has been a long haul recovering from this accident. Much time was diverted from other areas of our family life to deal with the fallout. Although our family was not at fault, we needed to spend a lot of energy standing up for ourselves and making sure that we were restored to as close to our life before the accident as possible.
In the midst of this drawn out affair, I kept thinking...wishing...hoping...that it would be over soon. I wanted my life back quickly. I wanted normalcy. I wanted...I wanted...
Well, God didn't want us to go back to normal. He wanted us to hang out on our knees for awhile. He wanted us to take a good, hard look at ourselves. I was reminded of a metaphor for the development of children. Children develop like a house of cards. Two cards are propped together and stand...for awhile. Then something causes the primitive house of cards to collapse. The two cards are picked up and restructured, using two more cards. This house stands for a longer time. Yet, the house eventually collapses again. This collapse and rebuild happens over and over as the child develops and matures, integrating new and old.
Once I stopped wanting "life as I knew it" back, I was able to say "yes" to God in a more complete way. Our family has been able to grow and mature. We crashed and with God's grace, we are rebuilding something more durable, stable, flexible, and beautiful.
It has been a long haul recovering from this accident. Much time was diverted from other areas of our family life to deal with the fallout. Although our family was not at fault, we needed to spend a lot of energy standing up for ourselves and making sure that we were restored to as close to our life before the accident as possible.
In the midst of this drawn out affair, I kept thinking...wishing...hoping...that it would be over soon. I wanted my life back quickly. I wanted normalcy. I wanted...I wanted...
Well, God didn't want us to go back to normal. He wanted us to hang out on our knees for awhile. He wanted us to take a good, hard look at ourselves. I was reminded of a metaphor for the development of children. Children develop like a house of cards. Two cards are propped together and stand...for awhile. Then something causes the primitive house of cards to collapse. The two cards are picked up and restructured, using two more cards. This house stands for a longer time. Yet, the house eventually collapses again. This collapse and rebuild happens over and over as the child develops and matures, integrating new and old.
Once I stopped wanting "life as I knew it" back, I was able to say "yes" to God in a more complete way. Our family has been able to grow and mature. We crashed and with God's grace, we are rebuilding something more durable, stable, flexible, and beautiful.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Young Man and All Star
In my last post, I wrote vaguely about the family transitions we are experiencing. Today, I'll write about one involving Little League All Stars and the metamorphosis of my ten year old son.
My son made the All Star team this season and was the starting catcher for the nine and ten year olds. He had a great season, loves the game, and respects his coach. The All Star team brought together new team mates, some of whom up front were strutting their stuff in a way that is typical but inappropriate. My son was challenged in a way that he hasn't been in the past. He had to stand up for his values, home schooling, and faith in a more mature way.
Going into the world as a young man is no easy ride. My husband has been steadfast in his support. But dad hasn't had to do it alone. My son wrote another athlete, a seventeen year old Catholic home-educated young man, asking him for advice. The reply he received was priceless. Good man to good man support is priceless. My son handled the challenges well, better than his mother, and before my eyes I saw glimpses of the man God is calling him to be.
After sticking to his guns, much practice as a team, and an earned respect and friendship among the players, my son was confident and eager to begin tournament play. I sat on the sidelines, both literally and figuratively. I cheered, reassured, purchased enough sports drink for a small army, and stomped on the ground when the ump made a bad call.
Two moments from the tournament stand out most in my mind. The first happened when four teams lined up on the first and third base lines, eagerly awaiting the tournament to begin. Introductions were made, fans clapped, then we were asked to stand for the National Anthem. My son, in his catcher gear, put his hand to his heart, gave full attention to the flag, and sang. No fidgeting. No looking at his feet. No waving at his family. Time stopped for me. My eyes welled with pride and a bittersweet realization that this was no longer a little boy.
The second moment came when my son's team lost in the semi-finals when in the bottom of the last inning, the other team came up with a run to squeak past us for the win. I never thought I would feel so broken-hearted. My mind knows "this is just a Little League game," but my heart had grown to care for all the players and their families. Even more, my heart was growing in deeper love with the young man catching. I watched him hold his head high, congratulate the other team, and reassure his team mates. He thanked his coaches, thanked his family, and thanked God for the opportunity. He choked back tears, a young man, a true All Star. He choked the tears back much better than his mom.
My son made the All Star team this season and was the starting catcher for the nine and ten year olds. He had a great season, loves the game, and respects his coach. The All Star team brought together new team mates, some of whom up front were strutting their stuff in a way that is typical but inappropriate. My son was challenged in a way that he hasn't been in the past. He had to stand up for his values, home schooling, and faith in a more mature way.
Going into the world as a young man is no easy ride. My husband has been steadfast in his support. But dad hasn't had to do it alone. My son wrote another athlete, a seventeen year old Catholic home-educated young man, asking him for advice. The reply he received was priceless. Good man to good man support is priceless. My son handled the challenges well, better than his mother, and before my eyes I saw glimpses of the man God is calling him to be.
After sticking to his guns, much practice as a team, and an earned respect and friendship among the players, my son was confident and eager to begin tournament play. I sat on the sidelines, both literally and figuratively. I cheered, reassured, purchased enough sports drink for a small army, and stomped on the ground when the ump made a bad call.
Two moments from the tournament stand out most in my mind. The first happened when four teams lined up on the first and third base lines, eagerly awaiting the tournament to begin. Introductions were made, fans clapped, then we were asked to stand for the National Anthem. My son, in his catcher gear, put his hand to his heart, gave full attention to the flag, and sang. No fidgeting. No looking at his feet. No waving at his family. Time stopped for me. My eyes welled with pride and a bittersweet realization that this was no longer a little boy.
The second moment came when my son's team lost in the semi-finals when in the bottom of the last inning, the other team came up with a run to squeak past us for the win. I never thought I would feel so broken-hearted. My mind knows "this is just a Little League game," but my heart had grown to care for all the players and their families. Even more, my heart was growing in deeper love with the young man catching. I watched him hold his head high, congratulate the other team, and reassure his team mates. He thanked his coaches, thanked his family, and thanked God for the opportunity. He choked back tears, a young man, a true All Star. He choked the tears back much better than his mom.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Time Squared
Wow can time rev up and move on leaving me in its wake! The only explanation I have for being away from my blog is that our family is going through several big transitions that I’ll be writing about in future posts. This is all exciting yet head-spinning. A few days ago my heart cried out, “Stop this thing! I want to get off!”
I read years ago in a business publication, that there are two different types of time, chronos and mythos. Chronos time is linear, definable, and countable. Here are some examples. “Meet me at 9:00.” “We eat dinner at 6:00.” “On June 7th we’re having friends to visit.” Mythos time is something else entirely. Mythos time is non-linear, hard to define, and hard to grasp. Mythos time explains why a vacation week sweeps by so much more quickly than a week having the flu. The gist of the article was that excellent executives know, or learn, how to move smoothly between and take advantage of the two.
When I read the article, I was a public administrator. Shortly after reading the article I became a mother. When I was a public administrator, I power walked the straight path of chronos time. Oh what discipline, pride, and comfort! When I became a mommy, I plunged into the swirling sea of mythos time. I left my false discipline, pride, and comfort behind. For example, I learned that to succeed in breastfeeding, I needed to not look at the clock. I learned that to gain rest, I needed to be resourceful and not count on eight hours straight between ten and six. I learned that time can stop when my daughter stared into my eyes.
Mythos time became Mommy time. I didn’t keep a calendar. I didn’t wear a watch. I didn’t plan much at all. I nursed my baby. I slept with my baby. I savored my time with her. Floating in pure mythos time doesn’t happen often in life, I’ve learned. It is a gift. Mythos time is God’s time.
How was my time spent these past few weeks? I was wrestling with chronos time, meeting unusual time commitments, and mythos time, meeting unusual people needs and happenstances. I was called to trust that my well-planned days and weeks needed to be put aside to swim in the uncertainty of God’s will for me. The rush is over...I think. I’m tentatively planning to get back to our usual routine, full of chronos time aides. We’ll see what God has planned for me.
I read years ago in a business publication, that there are two different types of time, chronos and mythos. Chronos time is linear, definable, and countable. Here are some examples. “Meet me at 9:00.” “We eat dinner at 6:00.” “On June 7th we’re having friends to visit.” Mythos time is something else entirely. Mythos time is non-linear, hard to define, and hard to grasp. Mythos time explains why a vacation week sweeps by so much more quickly than a week having the flu. The gist of the article was that excellent executives know, or learn, how to move smoothly between and take advantage of the two.
When I read the article, I was a public administrator. Shortly after reading the article I became a mother. When I was a public administrator, I power walked the straight path of chronos time. Oh what discipline, pride, and comfort! When I became a mommy, I plunged into the swirling sea of mythos time. I left my false discipline, pride, and comfort behind. For example, I learned that to succeed in breastfeeding, I needed to not look at the clock. I learned that to gain rest, I needed to be resourceful and not count on eight hours straight between ten and six. I learned that time can stop when my daughter stared into my eyes.
Mythos time became Mommy time. I didn’t keep a calendar. I didn’t wear a watch. I didn’t plan much at all. I nursed my baby. I slept with my baby. I savored my time with her. Floating in pure mythos time doesn’t happen often in life, I’ve learned. It is a gift. Mythos time is God’s time.
How was my time spent these past few weeks? I was wrestling with chronos time, meeting unusual time commitments, and mythos time, meeting unusual people needs and happenstances. I was called to trust that my well-planned days and weeks needed to be put aside to swim in the uncertainty of God’s will for me. The rush is over...I think. I’m tentatively planning to get back to our usual routine, full of chronos time aides. We’ll see what God has planned for me.
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